One is the loneliest number. Especially for angry dykes.

Every now and then, I’m reminded that there are worse fates than being a General Hospital fan. Especially on days when GH has sucked less than usual. Days like that, I breathe a sigh of relief and think: at least I don’t have to watch All My Children.

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It seems Charles Pratt, head writer over at the Good Ship AMC, has given an interview about the future of Daytime’s most prominent (i.e. one and only*) lesbian couple. The Serial Drama girls, who are far more knowledgeable about AMC asshattery than I, delightfully skewer most of the Pratt’s bullshit.

But there’s one quote in particular that I really cannot believe actually made it to print:

“We discussed that possibility,” Pratt notes. “But if Tamara decided to stay, keeping her on the show as an angry lesbian — with no other lesbian characters on the canvas — would be kind of insane. So we thought about making Reese bisexual — kind of an Anne Heche who bounces back and forth — and maybe make her an opportunistic black widow, a real bad girl. And Tamara would have been really great at that. But, ultimately, we decided to stick with the message.”

I’m not sure which part of this infuriates me more. First, we’ve got the casual inclusion of my favorite stereotype: the predatory and promiscuous bisexual. And I’m not currently watching AMC, but as I understand it, Reese’s marriage was ruined over her attraction to a man, so in what way didn’t they make her bisexual?

(To be clear, I’m all for introducing more bisexual characters to Daytime. From a dramatic perspective, it would automatically double the field of eligible romantic partners, which can only be a good thing. From a social perspective, it’s long overdue. But I’d really like Daytime’s first and only openly bisexual character to not be an “opportunistic black widow” — i.e. evil whore. Or a “lesbian” who just really needed a good man — in other words … Reese.)

But beyond all that, did Pratt seriously just invoke the specter of that most terrifying of bogeymen — the “angry lesbian”? Seriously?! Because if Reese were to stay on the show without Bianca, he couldn’t possibly write her as a fully three dimensional human being with interests and desires unrelated to her sexuality. Couldn’t possibly build friendships and connections that weren’t romantic. And he obviously couldn’t bring on another gay or bisexual character as a new love interest. That would be INSANITY, I tell you! Pure madness!

You know what, Mr. Pratt? It’s crap like this that makes us scary lesbians so very, very angry.

Of course, what more could we expect from the man who helped Bob Guza make General Hospital the trainwreck it was from 2002-2006? This is why I’m half glad GH remains cheerfully oblivious of the chemistry goldmines it has in pairings like Liz/Sam, Maxie/Lulu or Alexis/Diane. God only knows what a mess they’d make of them if they ever noticed.

*ETA: I’ve since learned about Guiding Light‘s Natalia and Olivia (what? CBS soaps are a mystery to me!), who are apparently smoking up the screen with an actual, honest to God romance. Naturally, this is all happening on the soap that just got canceled.

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