This past Sunday, I visited my lovely mother and, as we often do, we got to talking about General Hospital.
Some background: Mom has been watching the show for as long as I have — she actually started to make sure my tender pre-teen self wasn’t being exposed to anything too risqué…and then, of course, she got sucked in and kept watching on her own even after I’d left home.
A few years ago, she gave the show up, but I lured her back over Thanksgiving 2007 with the ridiculous awesomeness of Jason’s flowing-haired CGI boat ride of DOOOOOOM during the Black and White Ball:
I’m always interested to hear my mom’s thoughts on the show, because she’s coming from a different perspective than the online fans I normally talk to. She doesn’t read spoilers or pay attention to backstage politics; she’s watched the show for a long time, but doesn’t have as heavy an investment in its history as many online fans do.
Here’s what she had to say:
In general, Mom’s as tired of the repetitive conversations and mob violence as I am. I was surprised by her reaction to certain characters (Ric and Claudia, in particular), but for the most part, we’re actually in agreement.
On the PPD Story:
“Parts of it were well done. But I had a real problem with Robin being a professional doctor who couldn’t take responsibility and get help. People may be in denial, but I think they welcome being cured. I got tired of that. It was unnecessary. There’s a point where they need to cut off these plots before they get too long.”
She also didn’t like that Robin never talked to Maxie after the intervention:
“I hope they’ll come back to that and have a touching scene. I mean, what she said was true, but it was cruel!”
She felt bad for Patrick during that whole thing, but thinks his involvement in the surgery story has been obnoxious.
On Michael’s Surgery:
This is the main plot she’s paying attention to right now:
“Patrick is such a buffoon. I don’t understand how he can be the number one surgeon in the world. How can anyone make that claim? And the original surgeon didn’t talk to Sonny or Carly before leaving — she couldn’t make a phone call? Very unprofessional. The fact that it had to be done that day is ludicrous.
I’m so tired of Jax keeping secrets from Carly because of her blood clot. It’s so ridiculous. He should stay out of it. Michael’s not his kid. It should be Carly and Sonny’s choice.”
“I don’t mind him as much as I used too. I think he’s probably okay. He’s become the stable one. He’s always giving his brother good advice.”
On Claudia and Sonny:
“I’m really hoping this is Sonny’s baby, because I can’t stand is Ric. I feel bad for Claudia, in a way. She’s a victim of her circumstances with that crazy father.
I’m not sure how Sonny’s going to adjust to all this. I can’t imagine Claudia with a baby, personally. And that poor baby, living in that dark, gothic house…One thing I don’t understand is that Sonny’s this big mob guy, right? But people just walk in the door all the time. I mean, what kind of security do these people have? And everyone’s always having conversations of the docks. It’s like the most public place to have the most private conversations.”
[Ed. note — sing it, Mom!]
“Ric is just — he is just pure evil. There’s nothing good about him. I’ll be glad to see him go. [laughs] I’m sure Claudia will be too.”
“I like her! But her personal life rules too much of what she does for a living. I don’t know how she can have so many mob connections and do her job.”
[Upon being reminded that Alexis shares a child with Ric] “What was that woman thinking? Do these people have no scruples?”
On Nikolas and Rebecca:
She can’t stand Rebecca, and fast forwards through her scenes with Nikolas:
“I just find Nikolas icky. He looks like a bear in heat. I don’t want to see them–” [gestures and makes face]
“Oh! [makes face] If this is the best the FBI has working for them, then heaven help all of us. It’s really scary to think that this person could be an FBI agent of any kind. When she was hiding underneath her boss’s desk? [sighs heavily] It makes me exhausted to think of it.”
[Ed. note — once again, Mom and I are in complete agreement.]
“Oh, Marblemouth! And his hair! [mimes brushing it out of her face] That actor is probably a very nice person, but I can’t stand him. The way he mumbles!”
“Luke’s need to have this guy as his son is ridiculous. He just wants to have a little clone of himself because Lucky’s not like him. I think Luke is a loser in a lot of ways. Waiting for Laura, angel of the show, wasn’t good enough for him. I miss Genie Francis. She was a motherly person. This show needs that because they’re all wacko.”
[I ask how she feels about Luke’s revelation that he cheated on Laura around the time Lulu was born]
She’s also tired of Tracy being nothing but angry all the time, and doesn’t know how the actress does it. Scotty was the same way — always angry for no good reason:
“Poor Laura, she’s stuck with him now. Luke was bad enough.”
On Maxie and Spinelli:
“Maxie is such an airhead sometimes.”
“She is cute, though. I’ll say that for her.”
She also thinks Maxie and Spinelli are getting together but doesn’t understand the attraction.
“I don’t know where he’s going. His character seems to be floundering.”
On Jason and Sam:
She feels neutral toward him. He’s just “always there.”
“It’s interesting that the guy with the brain damage is always the most insightful. I fast forward through Sam. I’m just not interested. But I like her better now that she’s helping Spinelli.”
And there we have it: an offliner’s perspective. One big difference between the way Mom and I watch is that she doesn’t sweat the small stuff as much as I do…or allow the idiocy to enrage her as much. Which I guess would be a blessing, but I think my life would be a lot less fun without all the ranting.