Bob Guza never met a slut he couldn’t shame.

If I had the power to change just one aspect of General Hospital that irritates me (OH MY GOD too many choices, and wow, would that ever be a lame superpower), the answer would probably vary wildly depending on when you asked. Just in the last week, for example, I’ve sent fervent prayers to the heavens to give Sonny a vasectomy, fix Monica’s face, teach the writers to use Google so they can look up their own show’s history, and wash Ethan’s hair.

But right now? I would like to call a moratorium on the ritual humiliation of Alexis each and every time she’s managed to get laid at any point since — oh, say FOREVER.

Alexis is appalled

Seriously, what’s up with that? I cannot remember a single time when Alexis slept with a man (and I’m talking even back when the show was good and she and Ned were all bantery and cute) and it didn’t end with her exposed and mortified in some way. Hell, even when we hear about it twenty years after the fact — as with the story of Sam’s conception — Alexis gets put through the wringer. She is an intelligent, witty, classy, strong-willed and independent survivor of a horrific amount of childhood trauma and abuse. Why the writers seem to have this absolute fetish for piling more abuse on her every time she tries to have a little fun is beyond me.

Of course, she is also, to put it delicately, an absolutely smoking hot woman “of a certain age” — which, as we all know, deeply horrifies Brian Frons. So maybe that’s the answer right there.

This latest iteration involves the Mayor, and it is as devoid of logic and good taste as just about any other part of the show, with an added bonus of being designed specifically to let everyone in town get in on the ever popular slut shaming Alexis bandwagon. Because if there’s anything a woman over fifty shouldn’t be allowed to do, it’s have sex without it being anyone else’s business!

So many questions here:

1) Why would admitting to a second affair help the Mayor deal with the political fall out from his first one?

2) Why would he just announce that (totally implausibly retconned) information with no warning instead of holding it as leverage to get Alexis to drop the charges? Does he think that if Alexis doesn’t prosecute him then no one can?

(And I’m sorry but conflict of interest? Are you kidding me? This is the town where Scott Baldwin prosecuted his own son’s murder! And let Edward serve on the jury even though the prime witness lived with him!)

3) Why would the press be more interested in the District Attorney’s sex life than they are in the Mayor’s murder charges. (I’ll give you a hint: one of these things is actually a crime.)

4) How did Alexis find the time to go bang the Mayor the night she found Ric and Sam hate fucking on her living room floor? As I recall, she had a rather busy vomit-from-the-pain-of-chemo schedule going at that time. I’m sure she was feeling REAL sexy!

5) WHY AM I STILL WATCHING THIS ASSTACULAR SHOW?

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5 thoughts on “Bob Guza never met a slut he couldn’t shame.

  1. Yeah, I figured since I was all praising the show that one day that I would get horrendous pay back for it – and unfortunately it happened right away.

    We’ve already discussed this multiple times, but I still can’t see why Alexis is so horrible when Sonny has gotten five different women pregnant.

    • I know, right?

      (Actually, Sonny has knocked up SIX different women: Olivia, Lily, Alexis, Carly, Sam, and Claudia. And if Lily, Carly and Sam hadn’t been blown up while pregnant, miscarried, or had a stillbirth, respectively, he would now have EIGHT children alive on the canvas. Un-freaking-believable.)

      But of course, when Sonny does it, he’s a stud. When Alexis does it, she’s the town slut. And explain to me why Alexis should be getting pressure to resign over a one night stand when the mayor’s admitted to multiple affairs and is suspected of having killed his mistress? Because the press sure wouldn’t care about that… *eyeroll*

      • Ah yes, when I was counting, I completely blocked out Claudia. Probably because I wish this baby didn’t exist. It just enrages me so much. Another child that can be used as a prop to incite more mob violence. Yay for originality!

        Yeah this whole mess is just…that. A mess. *sigh*

  2. Found this blog bc I was googling wondering if anyone was blogging about the RAMPANT slut-shaming of Elizabeth taking place right now. I think all the love I had for Lucky for those glory days of the late 90s was blown right out the window when, after screaming into Elizabeth’s face about what a whore she is for about an hour, he left her with the parting thought that he loved her better when she was beaten and raped in the snow.

    I mean, what the fuck? And I pretty much hate Liz lately, but she doesn’t deserve that.

    • Welcome, friend! Slut shaming is out of control on GH on the best of days, but this thing with Liz is over the top, even for them. Believe me, you are not alone in hating it. (And yeah, that parting shot of Lucky’s about loving her more as a victim made me want to hurl.)

      I was briefly encouraged the other day when Elizabeth actually said something to the effect that even though there were two people in the affair, she was the only one being punished. But the spoilers I’ve read sound pretty hateful, so I don’t have much hope it’s going to get significantly better.

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