Stop the insanetivity!

I should have known better. Any time I give this show a little credit, the writers go out of their way to spit in my face soon after. So really, I brought this on myself.

It’s rare for the English language to fail me. But I’m so repulsed by the awfulness of Sonny/Olivia that no established words seem capable of conveying the right amount of nasty, nauseating, hateful, sleazy loathsomeness on display during their scenes yesterday. I think I need to take a page from Barney Stinson and make up new ones:

Sonny and Olivia: their love is so VOMITASTIC and SLEAZASTY!

I’m not going to risk my breakfast going over all the reasons why Sonny is the worst human being in the history of the world. It’s fairly self-explanatory. Suffice it to say that the count of all the times I yelled “Oh my God, HATE!” during the first ten minutes of the show alone was already in the double digits.

Let’s take a look at some other stats from Tuesday:

ZERO: amount of genuine emotion on display during any scene involving Ethan and Rebecca.

THREE: number of slogans the writers used to prove they were up on all the hip lingo…from 1999. (“What up, homey? This Dante story is totally whack!”)

NINE: number of times some variation of whore, slut, or tramp was spoken — and only one of those by Sonny! (Bonus points for describing Kate as “frigid” in the same conversation, because clearly, a woman can only be one or the other, and either way she’s wrong.)

FIFTEEN: number of consecutive seconds I was able to sit through any scene involving Spinelli.

FIFTY: number of high-fives Guza and Frons gave each other when they finally figured out a way to work one of Kelly Monaco’s burlesque costumes into the show.

ONE HUNDRED: percentage by which the hour improved whenever Patrick and Robin were on screen.

COUNTLESS: number of times I questioned why I’m still watching this crap.

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6 thoughts on “Stop the insanetivity!

  1. The Sonny/Olivia scene was one of those moments I wish my dvr would’ve cut off. With this statement scrolling at the bottom of my screen:

    Dear Jenn,

    “HELL TO THE NO. YOU DON’T WANNA SEE THIS SH!T. TRUST ME.

    Love,

    Sookie

    Yes, my dvr has a name. LOL!!!

    • (My DVR’s name is Moby TiVo…don’t ask.)

      Those scenes were hypnotically repulsive. I didn’t want to look, but I couldn’t help myself!

  2. Patrick and Robin stole the show for me yesterday, as they always do! In less than 3 minutes of air time, they made me laugh, smile and even blush a bit. Rockstar and Groupie HA!!!

  3. Between the nasty “Sonny and Olivia Show” and the tiresome Spinelli and Maxie scenes, I spent yesterday’s entire episode feeling nauseous and consequently finding reasons to turn away from the television…if this doesn’t stop, I may need to do shots just to get through this stupid show.

    Afterward, I had a terrifying realization: Luke should be back on the canvas soon – and then it’s highly possible that we will have to deal with scenes involving Sonny, Luke AND Spinelli all on the same days! I am actually getting the shakes just thinking about it. As frustrated as I’ve been, in Luke’s absence I forgot that there was yet ANOTHER loathesome character to get on my last nerve. Where’s the vodka?

    • God, you’re so right. Luke will make it a trifecta of sucktacity. I would honestly be happy at this point if Tony Geary just stayed on vacation forever…

      • LOVE your new lexicon;) Sucktacity is right. Re: your wish that Tony Geary would just stay on vacation: I could not agree more. How supremely sad that it has come to this with such an iconic character.

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