This show is maddening.

I’m assuming that Steve Burton is taking a few days of vacation, which is why no one can suddenly get Jason on the phone.

Which is fine, except…why make such a big deal out of the fact that he’s incommunicado? I mean, I know Cancún is a well known hive of scum and villainy and all, but neither the kids nor Jerry are anywhere near there, so why exactly is Jason on radio silence — such that even turning on his cell phone could compromise him? Would it have killed them to simply have the other characters in one-sided phone conversations with him while Burton’s gone?

Obviously, yes. Yes, it would. Because that would have made sense.

despair-divider

Apparently, hitting Kristina, pressuring her for sex, and picking fights with her brain damaged brother weren’t enough to mark Kiefer as a villain supreme, because today we learned he’s been having her little sister write his college application essay for him. Because that’s what rich high school seniors do. They manipulate ten year olds into doing their homework for them.

I know with Alexis as a mother, Molly’s probably no slouch in the brains department, but –say it with me now — COME ON.

Of course, the only thing that could make a completely one-dimensional creep like Kiefer look reasonable is the addition of an even bigger asshole onto the scene. Enter Sonny, stage left:

KIEFER: Yeah, look, no offense to your brother, but he just got out of a hospital. I don’t think he can really take care of K. Or himself, for that matter. [Ed. note: This is the first sensible thing that has ever come out of his mouth!]

SONNY: My son can take care of himself just fine.

Yes, Sonny. Because Michael always demonstrated such BANNER decision making skills in the past. Why, remember that time he shot your girlfriend and then left her to bleed to death in a dirty alley, ran away on a freighter, and nearly got his pregnant mother blown up? Of course, now that he’s got actual brain damage and severe emotional problems, I’m sure he’ll be much more mature.

despair-divider

Then, this happened:

JERRY: You know, I understand. I know your mother. I mean, Alexis is an extraordinary woman, but she can be a bit demanding.

KRISTINA: Do you think?

JERRY: You felt pressured, huh? Always had to be at the top of your game? Alexis sets a bar so high for herself, I can imagine she did the same with you.

Yeah, that Alexis, with her impossibly high standards, like DON’T COMMIT MULTIPLE FELONIES. Or, DON’T TRY TO BLOW UP HER DAUGHTER. God, it’s like a man just can’t win for trying, you know?

I realize Jerry is trying to ingratiate himself to the kids, but you know we’re supposed to think he’s right. God, I hate this show.

(And speaking of not murdering Alexis’ daughter, looks like we’re in for more of Jerry skeevily sexually menacing Sam on Monday. Boy, I sure can never get enough of that!)

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7 thoughts on “This show is maddening.

  1. Sounds like I made the right decision to quit GH.
    My favourite character seems to be on the top shelf of a locked pantry, but at least not exposed to this crap, so it’s a thin silver lining, I suppose?

  2. Oh, this is getting harder and harder to watch. I find myself increasingly detached when I tune in…and I use the term “tune in” very loosely. With hateful characters like Sonny (and now Keifer! YAY!), I find it easier not to pay too much attention or think too much…When you say this show is maddening, you aren’t even kidding, because it’s driving me mad.

    I want Alexis to tell so many people off, I’m losing count. I would love for someone to explain to us in great detail WHAT IN HELL the purpose is of beating this fabulous character down?! Over and over again? Seriously, it’s getting downright insulting. Meanwhile back at the ranch, people can’t stop praising the likes of Sonny and Jason, mobsters supreme. “Oh, it’s not your fault! Why do you keep blaming yourself for people getting hurt even though it is your fault?” Ach. My head hurts. How much you wanna bet that when Kristina finds out that Alexis confessed to reckless driving to protect her, she finds another reason to be upset with her?!

    And this whole Jason being missing in action thing is laughable. Seriously, this is the best they could come up with to cover his vacation days? And if this is meant to be a prelude to some ominous situation…I can think of several other scenarios that would have been less asinine. But whatever.

    • How much you wanna bet that when Kristina finds out that Alexis confessed to reckless driving to protect her, she finds another reason to be upset with her?!

      Well, since Kristina idiotically doesn’t even know for sure that she hit Claudia, I’m sure she’ll think her mom actually is guilty and hate her for it…ugh.

  3. Wow, I somehow missed the Molly writes Keifer’s college essay insanity. Well, I say somehow meaning I was probably playing spider solitaire or writing email while I was “watching” this episode. But seriously, WTF?

    • They had mentioned it before, but I assumed it was a joke…evidently not. Are we sure Dom/Dante is Sonny’s son because I’m beginning to think that Keifer is.

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