So Stupid it Hurts.

There are so many things wrong with this show. The fact that they just won an Emmy for writing makes me wonder if the Emmy voters were celebrating opposite day while  having a good laugh at us all.

I don’t even know where to start. No wait, I do – with the murder mystery plot, which I should never have called such, because there is no mystery about it. In fact, not only did they announce that they only need a witness to put the story together in one scene, but in the very next scene they told the viewer exactly who that witness is. No thinking required! Nevermind that the evidence they are looking for against Andrea is circumstantial. That doesn’t matter! It’s Port Charles. If you have concrete evidence against you, you’ll be easily acquitted.  If the doctors in the town think you are guilty, watch out!

The writers aren’t even trying to thinly veil their disdain for the PCPD anymore.  Not only are the police not bothering to investigate this murder, but apparently they don’t even suspect the wife of the man with whom the victim was having an affair. Nope, nothing to see here. Even the mayor’s wife knows that having the police on the case would be her best chance of getting away with murder:

Andrea: Why don’t you let the police do the investigating.  It is their job, not yours.

Honestly, the only good part of this entire story was this line:

Patrick: No please, do not encourage her. Before I know it, she’ll be dawning a cat suit and repelling into the Floyd’s bedroom to prove Andrea is a murderer.

Now that’s a story I would watch!

Speaking of other stories I would watch, after reading at the Scrubshub that Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson were participating in an AIDS Walk, I couldn’t help but imagine what a great story it would be if Patrick and Robin had done the same on the show. It would be a perfect opportunity for Robin to talk with Patrick about her past advocacy, and a way for her to start exposing her daughter to this important part of her life. It could organically involve other characters from across the canvas and portray them all having fun. They are so adorable in the above clip, how could that story not be awesome?

But no, the only cause worth doing anything for on this show is the Michael Corinthos “we’re still raising money for this foundation because the likelihood of him getting shot in the head again is high” Head Trauma Foundation.

And how will they raise money for this very needy cause?

If you watched yesterday’s episode I’m sure you have no idea. After about the hundredth time someone talked about going to the carnival tomorrow, my husband, who ignores the show 95% of the time, was no longer able to repel the idiocy and snarked, “Whoa, wait? Is there going to be a carnival?”

They could have easily just cut all the dialog and flashed a neon sign saying “Carnival!” at the bottom of the screen the entire time. It would have had the same level of dramatic effect. Would it have killed them to have mentioned it once or twice at the beginning of the week? Could they have made any effort to show someone giving a damn about this before today so it doesn’t seem like they just woke up on Tuesday and decided everyone was going to go to a carnival? If Olivia has been planning this, wouldn’t she have said something about it before, even once? Ugh!

I could go on. The amount of fail in this week’s episodes has been infinite. But fortunately, my brain has a limited capacity for drivel so the above was all I could process without causing permanent brain damage.

And my reward for watching all of this? Being assaulted with an attempt at a dramatic carnival montage that ended up looking more like the screen at the movie theater when the teenage projectionist overlaps the movie and preview films.

My eyes are bleeding from the suck.

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4 thoughts on “So Stupid it Hurts.

  1. I’m way past taking this show seriously. Like really, I’m pretty sure that Olivia’s eternally open-mouthed, wide-eyed, I-am-clearly-guilty look is supposed to be compelling. I’m sure that Andrea Floyd’s inane plot to poison Edward because he can place her at the scene of a murder is supposed to be deliciously soapy. But seriously, is it 1983? Because this all screams “Dynasty”, and last time I checked, production values have evolved since then. Maybe I’m nitpicking, but I find it all very laughable. Oh, and how is this a murder “mystery” anymore if we all know Andrea did it? Can anyone actually see this story getting more interesting from this point forward? Because I can’t.

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