Nothing to see here, move along…

The problem with watching General Hospital episodes in a timely manner instead of all piled up in a terrifying lump at the end of the week is that I then feel compelled to post about every stupid thing as it happens instead of cherry-picking the most idiotic/offensive moments out of all five days.

And as we all know, there’s more than enough stupid to go around in any one episode. In no particular order, from yesterday:

* Incandescentflower and I are of two different minds regarding the Psychic Michael story, so I’m sure she was wincing through yesterday’s show. But I think it is harmlessly hilarious. I would find it even more hilarious if Michael were to give up his mob aspirations entirely in favor of a life as a carnie fortune teller. He could set up a booth on the docks! And wear a satin turban and puffy Hammer pants as he dispenses unwanted and vaguely ominous advice to the bemused denizens of Port Charles!

(It… is possible I just spent waaaaay too much time imagining this.)

* Urgent for Steve Burton: please stop abusing the fake tan lotion! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for more shirtless guys on this show. Beefcake for all my friends! But Steve, dude… tone it down a bit. Your sixpack is very nice, but it should not be lobster red.

(Also, wasn’t Jason shot in the shoulder, like… just last week? Where were the bandages? Is this like the magically disappearing brain surgery bandages everyone always has on their neck?)

* How fantastic is Carly looking these days?

carly hot

…and how mortified would you be if your pregnant mother was wandering around the house showing that much boob? Poor Morgan’s burgeoning sexuality has probably just taken a terrifying and confusing turn:

carly inappropriate

* Anyone else choke a little when Molly was bemoaning the “cruel circumstances” that tore Jason and Sam apart, considering those “circumstances” included her sister sleeping with her father on her living room floor while her mother was in treatment for cancer? No? Just me?

* I did enjoy her literary allusions (Brontë sisters for the win!), which is something I can rarely say about this show’s attempts to make characters seem smart. I think the difference is Molly’s young enough that the writers’ clumsy references actually fit.

* Speaking of Molly, why the hell are she and Kristina helping to plan Maxie and Spinelli’s wedding? Could the writers seriously not come up with a way to have them catch Jason and Sam in a compromising position that made a little more sense? I don’t think the kids have ever even shared a single scene with the happy couple before. God, this show is so sloppy. And bad. Don’t forget bad.

And… that’s all I’ve got. This watching on time stuff is exhausting, you guys!


15 thoughts on “Nothing to see here, move along…

  1. Ever notice the unsettling dear-god-what-will-they-throw-at-me-today feeling that sinks in as you watch the beginning of each episode?

    OMG, I couldn’t pay attention during that entire scene because I was wondering the very same thing: WHO are Kristina and Molly to them again?! WHY would they be reading at the wedding?! Meanwhile, Maxie’s freaking sidekick Lulu was invited to Scorpio family dinner, yet is nowhere to be seen. Sloppy, indeed.

    Hey GH, the 3rd grade class from a local school called; they want their play back.

    • Oh, man, that didn’t even occur to me, but YES! Why wasn’t Lulu there? She’s Maxie’s only friend!

      (Along those lines, why haven’t we seen the Mayor ONCE since his wife was killed and revealed to be a psychotic murderer? This isn’t brain surgery! He’s integral to the story!)

        • Yeah, if we are starting to list the issues with continuity we could be here all day long. These writers live in a world with no rules! They are extreme!
          Honestly, that is the only way I can explain their constant bending of logic and reason. They must think they are doing something edgy.

    • I was wondering WHY Kristina and Molly were there too! Glad I’m not the only one. And my thought process was the EXACT same as yours. I was trying really hard to figure out what their connection was. I thought maybe I’d forgotten some twisted familial connection, but no, I hadn’t. Also, not thought of Lulu not being there. Now that you say that, very odd. Nice one GH…

      • Okay, if we all had the same quizzical reaction, I imagine that a large number of viewers did as well. Which I THINK means that the scene was an epic fail on the part of the GH writing team. I agree: I really was sitting there for most of the scene wondering what I was missing…I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one!

  2. Oh and re: the Psychic Michael story: I laughed and laughed. So…correct me if I’m wrong…but isn’t a clairvoyant known for seeing things that WILL happen, not things that have already happened? If I’m wrong, I need to start cashing in on MY gift! I remember things that have happened in the past all the time!!!!

    • *dies* I know!

      My gift is telling me…I had soup for dinner last night! And…it was delicious! But wait! My gift is now warning me I may feel some indigestion coming on! Heed this warning!

      • And it must mean that if Mikey is psychic because he gets “bad feelings” from time to time, Carly must’ve been psychic all along what with her “great instincts” and excellent plaaanmaking skillz.

  3. This show is really, truly, horrid. And speaking of the absent mayor…what about Alexis? What’s happening with her? The only bright spot on the show is Robin and Patrick and their 3.5 seconds of screen time once a week. But hopefully their next murder mystery story is better than this one!

    • Well, it would be hard for it to be worse! :-)

      Has Alexis been officially dropped as a suspect in the mistress’ murder? Given her old job back? Has there been any political fall out whatsoever to the mayor? No idea. Because the writers couldn’t care less. Ugh.

  4. I was thinking the same thing about Carly’s boobage in her scenes with Michael! She looks great, but I would be mega uncomfortable seeing that much of my pregnant (or not) mother!

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