Hijinks! Wackiness! Whores! How we laughed…

Isn’t it cute how Sam is constantly being mistaken for a prostitute on the rare occasions when the show isn’t actively treating her like one? Oh, the hilarity.

Hooking 101

(Check out the full-length sleeves and high neckline on that top! Who does this slut think she is, daring to go out in public looking like that?)

It’s extra special, of course, when they can’t even be bothered to make the scenario in question even slightly plausible. The cop recognizes Jason immediately, but has no idea who Sam — former national celebrity, long running mob moll, daughter of the former DA (and actually worked in the police station for a while), previously recognized by another cop as the Bonnie to Jason’s Clyde — is? Puh-LEASE.

But who needs plausibility when there’s an opportunity to make the PCPD look even more moronic that usual AND make jokes about Sam being a hooker, amirite?

Anyway, Port Charles has always existed in a kind of black hole where the regular rules of the criminal justice system simply don’t apply. Let’s review:

1) Perjury is defined by any lie told while under oath — no matter how minor or insignificant (as opposed to the rest of the country, where it only applies to lies that would affect the outcome of the case).

2) Having cancer makes one legally unfit to be a parent.

3) Murder charges may be brought even though there’s no body, no evidence of foul play, and nothing other than circumstantial ties linking the accused to the alleged victim.

4) A prosecutor can try his own son’s murderer. Jury members may be related to key witnesses. The position of District Attorney can be passed between members of a married couple at will if one of them doesn’t feel up to it at any point during the elected term. It does not matter if both have been personal attorneys to the local mob in the past.

5) If you marry someone, they have the right to make legal medical decisions for you for the rest of your life — even if you’ve been divorced for 25 years, married to someone else in between, and have designated a close family member as your legal guardian instead.

And now we can add the following to the complex Port Charles legal code:

6) Prostitution consists of any exchange of money between a man and a woman. No sexual activity or agreement to provide favors for money need take place before the bust occurs.

7) Rental of a hotel room with a known past significant other is ample grounds for a solicitation arrest, even when the Commissioner knows both parties’ history and recently saw them together as one another’s date at a wedding.

Now you know, kids. And knowing is half the battle.

(You’ll notice that I haven’t even touched on the contrivance of Sam and Jason suddenly finding the evidence they need just sitting around in a hotel room over a year after the fact. This is because it is so stupid that I can’t even think about without losing some brain cells. Please just assume I said something cutting and mocking and leave it at that.)

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2 thoughts on “Hijinks! Wackiness! Whores! How we laughed…

  1. I don’t watch the show anymore. But I read the recaps of this episode. Two thoughts entered my head as read the recaps:
    1. The writers make this s**t up as they go along.
    2. They’re doing this to make the cops, and Mac specifically, look stupid and petty. Again.

    • I firmly believe there is a sign on the back of the writers’ room door that reads: “HAVE YOU DEMEANED SAM TODAY?”

      It would explain so much.

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