Don’t settle for the minimum!

I need to stop underestimating Sonny. Every time I think he couldn’t possibly be any more of a dick, he tops himself.

You almost have to admire that kind dedication, you know? Not everyone could pull it off with that much consistency. Some guys might take a look around at all the destruction they’d already left in their wake for one day and given up for the night.

But not Sonny! He always goes for the maximum!

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I can’t decide on his worst moment of the episode:

  • Sneering and screaming at everyone else’s efforts to find Carly without lifting a single finger himself to help?
  • Showing up at his children’s home in the middle of the night to drag them out of bed and have a hissy-fit/pissing contest with their step-father?
  • Accusing Jax of thinking he “owns” Carly and the boys (which is obviously an outrage because they’re Sonny’s property, damnit!)?
  • Whining to Olivia about how guilty he feels so she’ll absolve him of any wrong-doing? (Sonny is like one of those people who constantly complains about how fat they look, just so you’ll be forced to say they’re not.)
  • Admitting that his “plan” was to goad Claudia into pulling a gun on him, forcing someone else to kill her? (Way to take responsibility, Sonny! And make really reckless choices with the lives of all your oldest and dearest friends!)

And on top of all that, he busted out a soliloquy on his undying love for Carly, which we’re now expected to believe is greater than his love for any other woman he’s ever known, including Brenda. Which–just… NO. Sorry. Don’t buy it. Never will. Fuck you, Guza.

Of course, all of that almost paled in comparison to crap like this:

OLIVIA: My heart is breaking for him. He’s just trying to be a good father, you know?

NO, I DO NOT KNOW, OLIVIA. BECAUSE YOU JUST MADE MY BRAIN EXPLODE.

(I know other things happened in this episode, like Carly finally, finally giving birth after roughly 45 months of HIGH! RISK! PREGNANCY!, or Jason’s existential angst over realizing yet again that he is a horrible person, or Dante and Lulu’s completely implausible yet strangely endearing water adventures. I’ll get to those later, I promise. You know… once the rage cools.)

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12 thoughts on “Don’t settle for the minimum!

  1. I’m so use to Sonny’s douchey ways, that my blood pressure stayed normal for the most part until THIS…………

    “I loved Carly the most”

    You, Greasy Little Mob Man, are a fucking liar!

      • Then the way he said it….there was my first wife Lily and a woman named Brenda……WTF?! First of all you douche, you got the order wrong. Brenda was first. Second, she wasn’t just “a woman”. He made is sound like she was a rebound or something. OMG! So much HATE. I see Lily is getting propped from the grave, again. Whatever.

        Yeah, what happened to Kate? All that time was spent building Skate but now Kate isn’t even shout out material?! Really show??! Really??! Ugh!!

        I want Olivia off my screen, now. She won’t STFU! about Dante being Sonny’s son. Let’s not forget feeding Sonny popcorn and caressing his face. DIE. JUST DIE.

        • Hee hee…your ire amuses me – only because I relate (but I wasn’t watching for a while during the Kate era until right before the “wedding”). I was a huge Brenda fan – thank HEAVENS Brenda is nowhere near Port Charles right now. I shudder to think how they might butcher her character if they got their grubby paws on her.

  2. OMG, you hit the nail on the head: he is SO a whiny little bitch à la OMG-I’m-so-fat. Except, girls who do that are generally the opposite of fat. Whereas Sonny….ye-eah.

    I’m not saying my blood pressure was normal during any of his scenes, but I can say it spiked when Olivia turned up at his house because she thought he “might need some company”. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her? I am starting to want Johnny to dump her ass.

    • I think the writing’s on the wall for Johnny and Olivia. We’ve had, what — nearly a week straight relentless Sonny-propping from her? Claudia’s finally out of the way. And she could barely spare a second for Johnny at the hospital yesterday.

      I fear my Olivia love will soon have turned to hate. It was fun while it lasted!

  3. Pingback: Back in the saddle again… « Despair in the Afternoon

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