This show makes me insane.

Of all the many scenes that made me want to pull my hair out in yesterday’s episode (et tu, Lulu?), this was the one that made me sit up and march over to the computer in a fit of indignant fury:

REBECCA: Well, you never make me feel like I have to apologize for being the twin that lived.
EDWARD: There’s no reason for you to apologize about anything, [ Ed. note: ???] and if that scoundrel, Nikolas–
REBECCA: No, Nikolas is wonderful. It’s Elizabeth Webber. She hates me. And I know I shouldn’t care, but Nikolas is so close to her.
EDWARD: Well, they were all really inseparable when they were teenagers.
REBECCA: Oh yeah, so I’ve heard. About a million times. The Four Musketeers. And now Emily’s gone and somehow in Elizabeth’s mind, it’s my fault.

Um… no. Let’s back this train up for a minute:

In Elizabeth’s mind — as well as the mind of every person who is actually in touch with this thing I like to call REALITY — it is your fault, Rebecca, that you are the kind of greedy, selfish, hateful vulture who learns she has a twin sister who was recently brutally murdered and decides the best thing to do is torment her loved ones by showing up and pretending you have no idea why you look exactly like the woman they lost, all the while planning to bilk them for all they’re worth.

I don’t know why Ethan and Rebecca have so much trouble with the very simple concept that people whose grief you toy with in the intention of STEALING FROM THEM might actually resent you for it, even if you get caught and say you’re very, very sorry. But, gee, kids: them’s the breaks of pulling a con. Suck it up and deal!

(As an aside: God, Natalia Livingston’s last air date cannot come soon enough. She’s not even trying anymore, is she?)

This is kind of what my face looked like as I listened to Carly and Jason’s conversation about what a prince he is for deciding to stop murdering people:

WHAT THE EFFING EFF IS THIS SHIT?

Some choice (and baffling) quotes:

JASON: I told Sonny that someone else has to take over “enforcer duties.” I want to stay away from the violence.
CARLY: You’re doing that for Michael, aren’t you?

Well, yes! Because he clearly wouldn’t be doing it because he no longer finds it rewarding or satisfying to kill people for money. And he certainly wouldn’t be doing it for anyone else, like say — HIS SON. That would be crazy.

JASON: I am respected for what I do. So Michael thinks that killing is worthy of respect.
CARLY: But you do what you do out of loyalty to Sonny–
JASON: Listen to you, you always justify the violence because you care about me!
CARLY: Well, I’m selfish that way, I can’t help it!

I’m torn. The honesty is refreshing, but I get the feeling we’re not supposed to be as disgusted and repulsed by either of these people as I so totally am right now.

JASON: I want to be some one that Michael looks up to. I don’t want him to think I’m special just because my hand doesn’t shake when I shoot somebody!
CARLY: I love you so much, and I think what you’re doing for Michael is beautiful, I do.

Guys, it really is a beautiful thing when a noble man makes a difficult sacrifice like giving up a rewarding life of KILLING PEOPLE FOR MONEY in order to set a good example roughly SEVENTEEN YEARS TOO LATE for it to make a goddamn lick of difference.

Seriously, has someone informed the Pope? Because I think we’ve got an official candidate for sainthood right here, folks.

Excuse me, I have to go vomit now.

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12 thoughts on “This show makes me insane.

  1. I thought Carly’s reaction was ridiculous. Sonny’s reaction was laughable. Sonny basically did the exact same thing before Michael was shot and Jason just let him. Whatever. When Jason said he didn’t want to kill anymore, my thought was “How long will this last? Until he kills James Franco’s character?” I had the exact same thought when they were going on about how noble it was to stop for Michael, that maybe he should stop because it is oh, I don’t know, wrong? Why don’t they want Michael to live this life exactly? They all seem perfectly happy with it. I just barely listen any more while the television is on. It significantly cuts down on the indignation and rage.

    • Yeah, the impact of this would be a bit more meaningful if I believed for a second that Jason would actually do what he’s promising. Whatever, show.

      I do like that they’re at least acknowledging that this lifestyle is causing emotional as well as physical damage to the kids. But it’s far too little, too late. And as usual, you know it will be forgotten in a year’s time.

  2. Well, on the brightside, there was that sweet JoMax scene. I think that Maxie was the first person to really sympathize with him that he lost his sister, even if she was a horrible person.

    Other than that…yeah, suckage. Oh, and welcome back Shrewlu, I did not miss you.

    • Yeah, I enjoyed that Johnny/Maxie conversation way too much. If Olivia has to break my heart by leaving Johnny for Sonny, then saving Maxie from Spinelli and giving Johnny someone with whom to drown his sorrows would be a nice consolation…

      This is why I know it will never, ever happen. *sighs*

  3. Rebecca is so very awful. I just cannot understand her, the way her mind works is completely incomprehensible to me. The writing is bad but NL’s “acting” choices make it all so much worse.

    Jason/Carly are despicable individuals who occasionally manage to become tolerable with others – when they’re together? I want them to DIAF

    • At least when she was strutting around in her eyeliner of EVIL, NL seemed to be trying to differentiate Rebecca from Emily. Now she’s just given up. She is the worst.

  4. I hate GH and your post is a perfect example of why. Not only do I not care about Carly or Jason, but for them to sit and have this ridiculous conversation is beyond sh*t even for GH. IT’S CRAZY!!!

    • And I forgot to add how dumb it is for Lulu to have a conscience where Sonny is concerned. Since when? And being the daughter of two people who were on the run from Frank Smith for the longest time, how is it that she doesn’t know what will happen to Dante/Dominic when she blows his cover to the man that he’s trying to arrest? WTF?

      • Not only that, but didn’t Lulu have a bunch of epiphanies about how awful the mob was before she and Johnny broke up? I mean, wasn’t that kind of the reason they broke up? It’s like she’s got amnesia AND a terminal case of the stupids. Ugh.

        • Never mind her claims that Sonny would never ever kill Dominic/Dante…didn’t she & Johnny overhear Sonny screeching at Jason that Johnny must die? And then didn’t she hightail it over to Carly to beg her to keep him from following through? Didn’t she jump in front of Sonny’s gun when he was trying to hold up a gigantic pistol (he should really get a size-appropriate gun) to threaten an unarmed Johnny on the pier?

          If she really does think Sonny’s this “good man” who wouldn’t kill, why did she go through all that trouble…and why did I have to sit through it?

          Also, for some reason, I really don’t think finding out that he has an undercover cop in his organization gunning to throw him in the clinker is going to make Sonny say “bygones!” and let it go.

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