Never underestimate the importance of snacks.

Of course Ronnie — the one cop really excited about taking Sonny down — is dirty. Of course. (At least I think he is. He and Franco were both so mumbly and boring during the big “reveal” scene that I had trouble paying attention.)

In any case, Franco was in total over-the-top melodrama mode today, and it was kind of awesome:

FRANCO: Always treat people with respect. Especially when they invite you into their home and open up to you. When they allow you to share their dreams and secrets. When they prepare food and drink for you. Or, at least, buy stuff.

His continuing indignation over Jason spurning his snacks is just about the only entertaining part of this entire story.

(Carly’s WTF?! reaction to this whole speech cracked me up, especially her befuddlement over which “friend” he was talking about. I mean, come on, Carly. You’ve only got the one. It’s not that hard a code to crack.)

Unfortunately, the less entertaining parts of the Franco plot involve an endless string of dialog like this:

JASON: I just think you kind of need to know what you’re walking into here. Franco isn’t like one of our normal enemies. An enemy will blow your brains out and end things. Franco just really wants to mess with your head.
DANTE: This guy’s really freaking you out, isn’t he?
JASON: Well, people say that I’m cold and I have no regard for human life, but that’s not true. Franco doesn’t care about anything except his own amusement. Once he stops having fun, anybody’s expendable.

Ah, I see. Jason does have regard for human life! He just has a higher regard for money and power. But that’s okay, because according to General Hospital morality, killing for fun makes you a psychopath, but killing for profit is just fine and dandy!

All that aside, the sloppiness of this entire Franco plot is so painful. How does Jason understand Franco’s motivations so well? The audience has seen enough to know he’s probably right. But Jason hasn’t. That whole speech reads like a character description straight from a casting call, not insight he should actually have.

And Jason’s hysteria about this doesn’t ring true to me at all. He’s never faced anyone like this before? Um, okay. Might as well just have him say, “We have to take this seriously! I’ve never faced an enemy played by such a famous actor before!”

Or would that be too subtle?

I didn’t actually hate Sonny’s attempt to bond with Kristina. I even found the choirboy story mildly amusing, and his offer to let her take him somewhere he would be uncomfortable was kind of sweet. Mostly, though, I liked those scenes because they ended with this:

KRISTINA: I know what Claudia did was terrible, but the things you said…
SONNY, spectacularly missing the point, as usual: I wouldn’t have said anything if I knew you were there.
KRISTINA: It shouldn’t matter who was there. The fact that you’d say those things to her at all… Claudia didn’t just disappear, right? You killed her. I’m gonna call Viola.

Rock the hell on, Little K!

I’d heard a lot of reactions to Elizabeth’s Rape-Time Story hour before I saw it, so I was expecting to be kind of enraged. Instead, I was mostly just fighting contact embarrassment through the whole thing, because:

1) Why on EARTH would you bust out that particular story in the middle of a sleazy bar?
2) If you had to go into it right there, WHY would you go into such excruciating detail? It was weird and awkward and holy cats, NO HUMAN BEING TALKS LIKE THAT.

On the other hand, we got some flashbacks, and flashbacks do make everything better. Also, Jonathan Jackson and Rebecca Herbst acted their little hearts out. So, whatever.

Both Natalia Livingston and her fictional alter ego handled the awkwardness with a surprising amount of grace and humanity, and it is just so typical that they would make this character not horrible for the first and only time just before she leaves the show.

I do find it hilarious that her whole “being independent” and “finding herself separate from Emily” plan involves taking money from Emily’s mother to go live high on the hog in Paris, though.

Oh, Rebecca. Never stop… being you.

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2 thoughts on “Never underestimate the importance of snacks.

  1. But I bought you snacks! How can you not like me! I BOUGHT them!

    That is the only part of the Franco plot that is not going to get old.

    I was happy about the flashbacks too. It was like, for the first time in five years, they remembered that they have thousands of hours of footage to draw from. Go figure. But otherwise, I just found the whole thing to be odd.

    What about Patrick and Robin? Or did you figure I would post about that? Maybe if something cute happens again today. But two days of cuteness in a row is not allowed, so I’m not going to hold out hope.

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