I won’t lie: I’ll be happy to see Franco go. This story is terrible, cuts even more corners and makes even less sense than usual, and if I have to hear one more person say “Franco” thirty times over the course of one episode, I may scream.
And yet… I will miss stuff like this:
That right there? That is commitment to scenery chewing. James Franco, you may be overly-pretentious and kind of ridiculous, but I salute you, sir! You have given this crap writing your all.
Speaking of Franco, if he really has been stalking Jason for months, how has the back story of Jason’s accident and mental issues escaped him until now? It’s not exactly a state secret. Hell, judging by her recent diarrhea of the mouth, if he’d simply wandered into the hospital, Robin would have happily given him a PowerPoint presentation (entitled “Ask Me About My Personal Savior: Jason Morgan”).
Then again, doing actual research might have taken time away from what was obviously a busy schedule of obsessively rewatching The Dark Knight, so who can really blame him?
Meanwhile, Dante and Maxie’s conviction that something simply must have happened to Lulu is kind of hilarious, given how often she’s walked off the job with no word in the past. But whatever. Clearly, it doesn’t matter because they are right, and because this show is ass.
I understand that Franco had to take Lulu so that Dante could be all manly and rescue her and all that, but I don’t understand why he wanted to take Maxie originally. If it would hurt Jason to hurt Spinelli (and the show has actually sold me on the fact that Jason loves Spinelli more than Sonny, even), wouldn’t Spinelli have actually made the ideal second hostage? I know it’s a moot point since Jason never did have to make an actual choice, but still… I would have found the answer to “Who Does Jason Love More: Spinelli or Sam?” kind of interesting.
It’s time for more of Sonny’s patented parental wisdom!
SONNY: You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Claudia.
MICHAEL: But you and mom are always saying that I gotta take responsibility for my choices.
Okay, first: I would pay CASH MONEY for any evidence that either Sonny or Carly has ever said anything like that in their entire lives.
Second, I love how Sonny’s explanation of why he is to blame for this entire chain of events conveniently leaves out the crucial first step, wherein he kidnapped, tortured, and threatened to kill Claudia’s brother for shooting Kate… when Michael was actually the one who did that (due to Sonny’s screwed up parental example).
Shut up, Sonny.
Sonny’s kids have really been on fire this week. First, there was Michael and Carly’s genuinely touching heart-to-heart:
(Although consider my eyes permanently rolled at the fact it took him besmirching Jason’s heroic good name before she snapped and let him finally have it).
Then, Sonny finally deigned to let Sam’s family know she’s in trouble, and Kristina’s response was a thing of beauty:
KRISTINA: I don’t care how much you try to put this on Jason. Sam wouldn’t be in this mess if Jason didn’t work for you.
I love that girl sometimes. I really do.
ELIZABETH: Whatever feelings Nikolas has for me, it isn’t love… it’s another way for him to feel close to Emily
LUCKY: Emily has been dead for two years. How long are we going to use her death to justify Nikolas’ screwed up behavior? [Ed. note: WORD.]
ELIZABETH: I guess I empathize because when I thought I lost you in the fire, I turned to Jason.
Tenillypo: OH WHAT THE FUCK EVER, SHOW
Is Liz about to explain that what she felt for Jason was never love?
Incandescentflower: Pretty much.
Tenillypo: Seriously, they cannot spit on Liason fans enough.
Incandescentflower: Well, the whole Nik/Liz thing is really an offense to all GH fans, so I’m sure they have no problem kicking a specific group in the balls.
Incandescentflower: Maybe the writers are actually some Buffy character, like a rage demon…they feed off the anger.
Incandescentflower: I think I out nerded myself there.
Tenillypo: You just nerded us both out, nerdo.
Incandescentflower: *takes a bow*
And… that’s all I have to say about that.