So long! Farewell! Auf weidersehen! Good-bye!

I won’t lie: I’ll be happy to see Franco go. This story is terrible, cuts even more corners and makes even less sense than usual, and if I have to hear one more person say “Franco” thirty times over the course of one episode, I may scream.

And yet… I will miss stuff like this:

That right there? That is commitment to scenery chewing. James Franco, you may be overly-pretentious and kind of ridiculous, but I salute you, sir! You have given this crap writing your all.

Speaking of Franco, if he really has been stalking Jason for months, how has the back story of Jason’s accident and mental issues escaped him until now? It’s not exactly a state secret. Hell, judging by her recent diarrhea of the mouth, if he’d simply wandered into the hospital, Robin would have happily given him a PowerPoint presentation (entitled “Ask Me About My Personal Savior: Jason Morgan”).

Then again, doing actual research might have taken time away from what was obviously a busy schedule of obsessively rewatching The Dark Knight, so who can really blame him?

Meanwhile, Dante and Maxie’s conviction that something simply must have happened to Lulu is kind of hilarious, given how often she’s walked off the job with no word in the past. But whatever. Clearly, it doesn’t matter because they are right, and because this show is ass.

I understand that Franco had to take Lulu so that Dante could be all manly and rescue her and all that, but I don’t understand why he wanted to take Maxie originally. If it would hurt Jason to hurt Spinelli (and the show has actually sold me on the fact that Jason loves Spinelli more than Sonny, even), wouldn’t Spinelli have actually made the ideal second hostage? I know it’s a moot point since Jason never did have to make an actual choice, but still… I would have found the answer to “Who Does Jason Love More: Spinelli or Sam?” kind of interesting.

Ah, well.

It’s time for more of Sonny’s patented parental wisdom!

SONNY: You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Claudia.
MICHAEL: But you and mom are always saying that I gotta take responsibility for my choices.

Okay, first: I would pay CASH MONEY for any evidence that either Sonny or Carly has ever said anything like that in their entire lives.

Second, I love how Sonny’s explanation of why he is to blame for this entire chain of events conveniently leaves out the crucial first step, wherein he kidnapped, tortured, and threatened to kill Claudia’s brother for shooting Kate… when Michael was actually the one who did that (due to Sonny’s screwed up parental example).

Shut up, Sonny.

Sonny’s kids have really been on fire this week. First, there was Michael and Carly’s genuinely touching heart-to-heart:

(Although consider my eyes permanently rolled at the fact it took him besmirching Jason’s heroic good name before she snapped and let him finally have it).

Then, Sonny finally deigned to let Sam’s family know she’s in trouble, and Kristina’s response was a thing of beauty:

KRISTINA: I don’t care how much you try to put this on Jason. Sam wouldn’t be in this mess if Jason didn’t work for you.

I love that girl sometimes. I really do.

ELIZABETH: Whatever feelings Nikolas has for me, it isn’t love… it’s another way for him to feel close to Emily
LUCKY: Emily has been dead for two years. How long are we going to use her death to justify Nikolas’ screwed up behavior? [Ed. note: WORD.]
ELIZABETH: I guess I empathize because when I thought I lost you in the fire, I turned to Jason.

Tenillypo: OH WHAT THE FUCK EVER, SHOW
Is Liz about to explain that what she felt for Jason was never love?
Incandescentflower: Pretty much.
Tenillypo: Seriously, they cannot spit on Liason fans enough.
Incandescentflower: Well, the whole Nik/Liz thing is really an offense to all GH fans, so I’m sure they have no problem kicking a specific group in the balls.
Tenillypo: ARGH!
Incandescentflower: Maybe the writers are actually some Buffy character, like a rage demon…they feed off the anger.
Tenillypo: Hah!
Incandescentflower: I think I out nerded myself there.
Tenillypo: You just nerded us both out, nerdo.
Incandescentflower: *takes a bow*

And… that’s all I have to say about that.

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8 thoughts on “So long! Farewell! Auf weidersehen! Good-bye!

  1. Actually I have say that this show has committed itself in a pretty suprisringly steadfast decision to continually kick LL2 fans in the balls. We’ve been told our love story is nothing but gratitude….it’s been dead since the fire….that Lucky is only good for being an asexual father to fatherless children……that the good times the fans have seen them go through were just figments of our imagination as Liz was pining for Jason the entire time. And God help us all if the show decides to write RH’s pregnancy into the show making LL2 have to go through not ONLY a WTD with Jason but Nik as well. I’m not saying they aren’t pissing on ALL of Liz’s fanbases with this crap (ohh Liric….what did you do to them to piss them off so spectactuarly?)…but they have shown real dedication to trying to destror every last LL2 fan out there since roughly 1999.

    • The fanbases of each of Elizabeth’s pairings certainly have cause for complaint, so LL2 fans have my sympathy.

      The thing about that line quoted above is the last go around for Liason was so disappointing and badly written that if I hadn’t already been a fan of the couple, I wouldn’t have cared about them at all. The only redeeming part of it was that we finally got some ILUs and acknowledgment that those feelings had been around since the beginning. For TPTB to rewrite history now and try to claim none of that has ever been based on anything real would be like them trying to claim Liz never loved Lucky even before the fire. It’s trying to destroy the best memories and the very basis of the relationship. And that’s what pisses me off.

  2. Actually they are trying to do that right now to Lucky and Liz. Steven basically said that Elizabeth didn’t love Lucky and held on to him because he loved her and she needed that after their parents screwed her up so horribly. I know that’s what I was watching! And they did it willy-nilly during the Liz/Jason go around. I was a big fan of the day we all heard that every relationship Liz had since the fire was her settling because she couldn’t have Jason. So her two marriages to Ric and Lucky were what then?

    Although it shouldn’t surprise any of us really…Guza RARELY writes a relationship without employing a scorched Earth policy on the previous ones. In order for whatever relationship (and I don’t think Niz is one or will last longer than it takes for Lucky to blast them since really Guza’s only had them talk about it being secret and forbidden. One topic of conversation is never a good sign when it comes to Guza. Ever.) all others must be rendered unimportant and not as glorious as this one. Hence Scotty is permanently stuck on Laura….forgetting about Dominique and Lucy. Nik never loved Gia or Katherine or Sarah before Emily. When was the last time he menitoned Courtney, the mother of his child? of course he doesn’t seem to be aware Spencer exists so that might explain it. Emily didn’t love Zander or Juan…just Nik. Every woman with Sonny is the only one to understand him. It’s been Guza’s stock in trade for years and unfortunately since he lives to create fan wars….he’s gotten away with it for a decade.

    • Again, you’ll get no argument from me about the show’s scorched Earth policy toward destroying prior relationships to prop a new one.

      I didn’t read Steven’s comments quite the way that you did, however. It seems to me like the writing team has basically decided to keep all of the history with JJ’s Lucky as sacrosanct while ignoring nearly anything else. Which… is another kettle of fish entirely. But I do think LL2 will be endgame eventually.

  3. Did you guys know that the Francophrenia is a real thing? I read somewhere that James Franco brought his own crew to the set that filmed him too and he made a movie out of it…And apparently the Francophrenia on GH is the real deal that’s been worked into the show or something…It’s all really confusing, but that’s how I understood it. http://blog.moviefone.com/2012/01/06/james-francos-francophrenia-rotterdam/ There ya go. I’m sorry, but could this man be any more full of himself?

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