Okay, I’m freshly caught up on the last four days, and…

… you knew I would lead with this, right?

Considering I don’t really like either Elizabeth or Jason too much as individual characters right now, all I can say about their brief two minutes together the other day is:

1) It’s really sad how well-trained I’ve become, that I’ll get excited over the smallest scraps the writers give me like this.
2) How are these two still so effing gorgeous together?
3) It’s nice to see them acting like friends, since that has always been my favorite part of their relationship.

And… that’s that, really.

Speaking of Liz, since I’ve been wanting Lucky and Ethan to get to know each other better using this crazy little thing I like to call conversation pretty much since the latter came to town — AND since I’ve been riding the “Lucky has never dealt with the  consequences of his “death,” and his deeply unhealthy relationship with Elizabeth stems from their inability to move past the savior/grateful damsel dynamic set up when they were teenagers” bandwagon for years now — the last couple of days have been fairly validating:

ETHAN: Did you ever think maybe Elizabeth has just been afraid she that would disappoint you?
LUCKY: You know, uh, Dad once told me that no matter how long you’ve been with someone, it’s always easier to remember who they used to be than to see them for who they’ve become. So, I don’t know man, I mean maybe I never moved past that moment with Elizabeth. Maybe she’s always been that fragile, wounded girl to me. And I’ve never been able to see the woman that she became. That doesn’t justify any of the lies or the infidelity, but I can own my part in this.

All that, plus flashbacks, Zander and Ric getting name-checked, and a shout out to that hilarious time Helena kidnapped Lucky for a year and made everyone believe he was dead?

WHAT IS THIS SHOW AND WHAT HAS IT DONE WITH GENERAL HOSPITAL?

Of course, even when they’re giving me what I want, these are still the General Hospital writers we’re talking about. So instead of taking this opportunity to let Lucky and Liz put aside their childhood baggage and get to know each other as adults… they are taking this opportunity to completely infantilize Liz so that Lucky can save her fragile, wounded little lady brain once again and recreate the dynamic that made him fall in love with her in the first place. Because apparently, seeing Liz traumatized really makes him feel like a man:

LUCKY: It was Valentine’s Day, a long time ago, when I fell in love with Elizabeth.

Yes, they really had him say that. Yes, it really made me nauseous.

Side note: I’m shocked at how unobjectionable Ethan has become lately. But can I just say how wildy inappropriate it was for Nikolas and Lucky to give him a blow by blow description of Liz’s rape? I realize it’s not exactly a state secret, but it’s still her story, first and foremost. And if she wanted Ethan to know, she would have told him herself.

Lucky, at least, has the excuse that it’s partly his story too. But Nikolas can feel free to SHUT THE HELL UP any time now. About everything, really. (When he actually had the nerve to blame Lucky for Elizabeth’s meltdown yesterday, I shouted, “Punch him! PUNCH HIM GOOD!” at the television.)

If this show didn’t also contain Sonny, Nik would be the winner of this year’s Sanctimonious Douche award, hands down. He’s just awful.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Spencer news…

Dear Julie Marie Berman:

DAMN, GIRL.

Sincerely,
An Ardent Admirer Of Your Abundant Assets

Finally, in SonnyLand (capital city: Douchetropolis):

OMG, you guys! Did you know that Sonny had a crappy childhood!? And that gives him a free pass to murder people for profit for the rest of his life!?

Well, I’m sure glad they cleared that up. And here I was, thinking — to paraphrase the immortal words of Cordelia Chase — that he just needed to spank his damn inner moppet and get over it already.

(Dante’s response to that sob story was actually pretty perfect, so I’ll spare you all my longer rant. I only wish I had any confidence his disdain would last.)

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7 thoughts on “Okay, I’m freshly caught up on the last four days, and…

  1. It is a sad and telling statement when only the pressence of Sonny can save Nikolas from being the biggest ass on television right now. I wasnt’ thrilled wiht Lucky spouting out Liz 101 to Ethan…but as you said A – it is partially his story as well and B – Ethan did point out Nikolas had already told him. Now as to why Lucky didn’t immediately go out and punch the crap out of Nik for such douchiness….well that I am at a loss. I’ll go with….the last time Lucky knocked the crap out of Nik it was Greg Vaughan and it WAS WONDERFUL. (Made even better by teh fact apparenlty one of them forgot their block and Greg really did end up cold cocking Tyler to the ground. Heee!)

    you know what might have helped me not want to kill Nik? If he had an expression on his face other than “What should I eat for lunch?”

    Actaully the entire conversation annoyed me with GH trying to pretend the last ten years didn’t happen because Jonathan Jackson wasn’t there, to justify the recast as an excuse to use flashbacks and to then go ahead and name check everything just drove me batty. I saw it as the show trying to have it both ways. They dont’ want us to remember other actors played Lucky….but they are pretty much counting on the audience to remember what happened in order to write this storyline.

    • I loved the flashbacks unreservedly because I don’t think GH uses them nearly enough in general. But I do wish that in this case they were in service of a much better story…

    • This is the exact reason why the flashbacks drive me nuts as well. It is like this history between Lucky and Liz didn’t really exist while GV was playing Lucky. Now that JJ is back, all of a sudden it is a huge issue for Liz again. I just think it is inconsistent and obnoxious. Just another reminder that they could have given Lucky real stories then, they just chose not to.
      I’m hoping the writers obvious love for JJ will equal a Lucky baby, but I wouldn’t put money on it. They love screwing with us.

    • Regarding: you know what might have helped me not want to kill Nik? If he had an expression on his face other than “What should I eat for lunch?”

      I laughed OUT LOUD, hard, when I read this. Geez, did you nail his acting or what?

  2. OMG…it is so damn hard trying to catch up on a month + worth of GH. I really thought it would be a treat – you know how it’s always intensely satisfying when you watch a show on DVD instead of in real time, because you don’t have to wait inpatiently for the next episode? I thought it would be like that. Unfortunately, I forgot what an asshole this show can be and so it’s kind of alternating between being exciting and feeling like a chore.

    I pretty much agree with all of your points. I continue to despise Sonny, and am none too pleased with Jason, Carly, Nikolas and Elizabeth either – why are half of the characters written to be so infuriating?!?! But yeah, Lulu looked fantastic in that red dress – and she and Dante rock my world!!!! They are the bright spot I routinely look forward to in this endless game of catching up…sigh.

    On another note: REALLY, GH? You went there and had Liz get preggers again? God help us all. Somehow, I feel like whether they make Lucky the dad or Nik the dad – it will still be a colossal trainwreck of a story.

    Okay, as I heave another giant sigh, off to continue the catch-up game.

    • Yeah, I realize it will be much easier for them if they don’t have to hide BH’s pregnancy, but from a character perspective the very last thing in the world that Elizabeth needs is another two years where her entire story is driven by her uterus. UGH. HATE.

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