… you knew I would lead with this, right?
Considering I don’t really like either Elizabeth or Jason too much as individual characters right now, all I can say about their brief two minutes together the other day is:
1) It’s really sad how well-trained I’ve become, that I’ll get excited over the smallest scraps the writers give me like this.
2) How are these two still so effing gorgeous together?
3) It’s nice to see them acting like friends, since that has always been my favorite part of their relationship.
And… that’s that, really.
Speaking of Liz, since I’ve been wanting Lucky and Ethan to get to know each other better using this crazy little thing I like to call conversation pretty much since the latter came to town — AND since I’ve been riding the “Lucky has never dealt with the consequences of his “death,” and his deeply unhealthy relationship with Elizabeth stems from their inability to move past the savior/grateful damsel dynamic set up when they were teenagers” bandwagon for years now — the last couple of days have been fairly validating:
ETHAN: Did you ever think maybe Elizabeth has just been afraid she that would disappoint you?
LUCKY: You know, uh, Dad once told me that no matter how long you’ve been with someone, it’s always easier to remember who they used to be than to see them for who they’ve become. So, I don’t know man, I mean maybe I never moved past that moment with Elizabeth. Maybe she’s always been that fragile, wounded girl to me. And I’ve never been able to see the woman that she became. That doesn’t justify any of the lies or the infidelity, but I can own my part in this.
All that, plus flashbacks, Zander and Ric getting name-checked, and a shout out to that hilarious time Helena kidnapped Lucky for a year and made everyone believe he was dead?
WHAT IS THIS SHOW AND WHAT HAS IT DONE WITH GENERAL HOSPITAL?
Of course, even when they’re giving me what I want, these are still the General Hospital writers we’re talking about. So instead of taking this opportunity to let Lucky and Liz put aside their childhood baggage and get to know each other as adults… they are taking this opportunity to completely infantilize Liz so that Lucky can save her fragile, wounded little lady brain once again and recreate the dynamic that made him fall in love with her in the first place. Because apparently, seeing Liz traumatized really makes him feel like a man:
LUCKY: It was Valentine’s Day, a long time ago, when I fell in love with Elizabeth.
Yes, they really had him say that. Yes, it really made me nauseous.
Side note: I’m shocked at how unobjectionable Ethan has become lately. But can I just say how wildy inappropriate it was for Nikolas and Lucky to give him a blow by blow description of Liz’s rape? I realize it’s not exactly a state secret, but it’s still her story, first and foremost. And if she wanted Ethan to know, she would have told him herself.
Lucky, at least, has the excuse that it’s partly his story too. But Nikolas can feel free to SHUT THE HELL UP any time now. About everything, really. (When he actually had the nerve to blame Lucky for Elizabeth’s meltdown yesterday, I shouted, “Punch him! PUNCH HIM GOOD!” at the television.)
If this show didn’t also contain Sonny, Nik would be the winner of this year’s Sanctimonious Douche award, hands down. He’s just awful.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Spencer news…
Dear Julie Marie Berman:
An Ardent Admirer Of Your Abundant Assets
Finally, in SonnyLand (capital city: Douchetropolis):
OMG, you guys! Did you know that Sonny had a crappy childhood!? And that gives him a free pass to murder people for profit for the rest of his life!?
Well, I’m sure glad they cleared that up. And here I was, thinking — to paraphrase the immortal words of Cordelia Chase — that he just needed to spank his damn inner moppet and get over it already.
(Dante’s response to that sob story was actually pretty perfect, so I’ll spare you all my longer rant. I only wish I had any confidence his disdain would last.)