Can I just say something here?

I am so sick of Sonny Corinthos, you guys.

I was out of town all last week. And in addition to sun, sand, and a number of professional benefits, my trip also meant five whole days free from thinking about this show, and about Sonny, and about how he is the fictional embodiment of just about everything I hate in humanity.

… and then I came back home where there is no sun, no sand, and six straight episodes of nothing but Sony. I swear, if he isn’t in the scene, then it’s someone talking about Sonny, bitching about Sonny, making excuses for Sonny, making plans to destroy Sonny… Sonny, Sonny, Sonny! I never thought I’d get sick of people hating on him, but it’s to the point where I’m as sick of the mere sound of his name as I was of Franco’s not that long ago, which is to say IT IS LIKE NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD TO ME NOW. Ugh.

I’ve been sitting here, staring at this post while Julie and Julia plays in the background (and is it just me, or would an entire movie about just Julia Child have been immensely preferable? Speaking as a blogger, the lives of bloggers are just not that interesting. Seriously) and I’ve realized the problem is that I’m sick of writing about Sonny. But every single episode is all about him, so he’s hard to avoid. He’s also really been turning the douche-meter up to MAXIMUM lately. And I realize that’s kind of like saying “the sky is blue” and “fire burns” at this point. But it’s hard to not comment when every word that comes out of his mouth is more outrageously awful, self-serving, and out of touch with anything resembling either reality or morality than the last.

The worst part is that he’s now contaminating characters I normally enjoy. I mean, both Robin and Alexis have lost their ever-loving minds. Clearly. And as much as I enjoy Alexis bickering with Diane, or Patrick giving Sonny a long-overdue dose of truth-telling… it’s just not worth it if the price is Alexis defending her daughter’s worthless father. Or Robin, the police commissioner’s niece, needing crazy Lisa to explain why shooting an unarmed cop in the chest makes you — by default — NOT A NICE PERSON.

They made me side with Lisa! They made Lisa make more sense than Robin! What is the world coming to?!

Then there’s the things Sonny does to Carly — eww, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter! — namely taking the only thing that makes her character even vaguely palatable (her marriage to Jax) — and ruining it:

SONNY: The only reason you’re breathing is because you’re married to Carly. When you are you going to dump this son of a bitch? Because I’ve waited too long to put an end to this!
JAX: Don’t threaten me. Or interfere with my marriage, okay?
CARLY: No, Jax is right. This is a really bad time for you to say things like that.

Carly’s right, y’all. It is just the height of rudeness for one’s ex-husband to threaten to kill one’s current husband when the two of you are having a bit of a rough patch. Clearly, the proper time for death threats is when you’re getting along. I’m sure I read that in Miss Manners somewhere.

And yes, I realize that spending an entire post talking about how sick I am of talking about Sonny is kind of a contradiction. Sue me.

To the show’s credit, it did take pains last week to draw a parallel between Sonny and Kiefer, the the two abusive, controlling assholes in Kristina’s life:

SONNY (after marching up without so much as a ‘hello’ and ordering Kiefer to leave): I know we’re feeling our way together and that’s fine. But there are some things that are non-negotiable. Your attitude, for one. You can feel the way you feel about me. You can be angry with me. But I am your father, and I will not allow you to disrespect me or challenge me.
KRISTINA (visibly cowed): I’m sorry. Would you like to join us?

That was deliberate, right? They couldn’t possibly have written that scene without realizing how clearly Sonny’s manipulative, overbearing “respect my authoritay!” schtick is the template for Kristina’s entire relationship with the jerk who hits her? Right? … RIGHT?

(No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to ruin the moment.)

Luckily, the few non-Sonny-related scenes in the week weren’t all terrible. Lucky finally had an honest conversation with Elizabeth, she continued to give Nikolas the cold shoulder (and to mock his terrible parenting skills, which–YES. PLEASE MOCK HIM MORE, LIZ). We also learned that Lainey, Liz’s friend and co-worker, has been providing her therapy, because that sure doesn’t sound unprofessional in any way. (Also — group therapy sessions with her cuckolded fiancé and the brother she cheated on him with? Really? That’s supposed to make Liz not want to kill heself?)

In other news, Dante finally — FINALLY — got a hair cut (which I like to think was just for me), and he and Lulu continue to redefine the meaning of ADORABLE while failing to get laid:

BLUE BALLS WERE NEVER THIS CUTE.

Also: Alexis gave a Tolkien shout out. What? I’m a nerdy lesbian with a thing for MILFs, okay? Nancy Lee Grahn referencing The Lord of the Rings is pretty much the definition of my happy place.

(There was also some business with Spinelli’s neverending quest to prove himself a manly man to Maxie, and you know how much I love that tiresome bullshit, so the less said about whatever shenanigans are about to ensue there, the better.)

Finally, yesterday, Bob Guza looked at his calendar and realized it had been several months since he last spit on the legacy of Luke and Laura. So we got this gem:

LUKE: I don’t understand this at all. You and I should have killed each other years ago. There’s something about this union, though. It’s odd. It’s brutal at times. But it works for me better than anything I have ever known.

I don’t get it. I really don’t. Why is that necessary? I have no problem accepting that Luke’s marriage to Tracy works very well for him in the place his life is at right now (… as a bitter, old, barely-functional alcoholic, I mean). I have no problem believing he even loves her in his own way (… even though he treats her like crap more often than not). But I don’t believe this is the happiest, most in love he’s ever been. I just don’t.

Stuff it, Guza.

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9 thoughts on “Can I just say something here?

  1. I love you so very much.

    Thank you for commenting on the continuing quest of TIIC to denigrate L&L for absolutely no reason. I don’t know why I let it bother me so much but it’s like nails on a chalkboard every time it happens – it makes me want to punch a baby.

    • Back at you, babe.

      (Also, “General Hospital: It makes me want to punch a baby” should really become this show’s new catch phrase.)

  2. Thank you for saying what I was just about to blog angrily about! I know logically I am supposed to hate Kiefer and watn him dead….and yet when I see him do things like throw effing barware because he was inconvienced all I see is Sonny…the High School Years. And yet you know this show is going to use the Kiefer/Kristina situation to try to paint Sonny as a good guy who saves Kristina.

    Lainey as Liz’s therapist was ridiculous. As was that therapy session. i would be ok with the LL2 stuff if I didn’t have the sinking suspicion they will be repeating teh same scenes every week until ohh August lets say? =) However i will never complain about people in Port Charles finally cluing in to how freaking transparent Nik is. The pot shotting about his parenting and everyone seeing right through his plans and going “yeah umm that won’t work. Liz isnt’ interested/here/not insane becuase of her immense feeligns for you”. The illumination into his thought process was hysterical to say the least.

    • Oh, there is more than enough hate in my heart for both Kiefer and and Sonny, believe me. But I do resent the way Kiefer looks better whenever Sonny is around…

  3. Now I know that this is going to illicit alot of groans from the peanut gallery but i just dont care. I disagree with you. yes that is right i disagree with you. oh not about sonny (frankly he bores me) but about tracy & luke. I disagree because i dont believe they are spitting on L & L but instead making due with the fact that even though we may want genie back it is doubtful she will come back for more than a moment here or a moment there. plus i love tracy and luke together. sure l & l made sense 20 years ago but they dont now. no matter how powerful there love was (which was just twisted considering he raped her, i dont care you do not fall in love with your rapist period) it many years ago and alot has changed. kind of like lucky and liz. no matter how great they were together as teens they arent teens any more and they just dont make sense.

    • I’m not sure we really disagree as much as you think. I actually like Tracy and Luke together for the most part (although I find their cycles of him ignoring/abandoning her and then extravagantly making it up with promises of love and fidelity… tiresome. Tracy deserves better). I don’t think the mere fact of Tracy and Luke’s marriage spits on L&L.

      What I object to is the repeated dialog they have given Luke which flat out says that Tracy is the greatest love of his life, that his relationship now is the best he’s ever had, etc. The show does this with other couples too, and I find it frustrating then as well. There’s no need to denigrate past relationships in order to prop current ones. And while Luke and Tracy mostly make each other happy at this point in their lives, it’s a very different kind of love than the love Luke had for Laura. Saying one is better than the other is pointless, because it’s apple and oranges. And I find it s further slap in the face of Genie Francis considering the reason she isn’t on the show anymore is completely TPTB deciding she was needed on the canvas anymore.

      (I realize saying all this may make me look like a bigger fan of Luke and Laura than I am. I have issues with their relationship too. But I violently dislike the show’s habit of rewriting history that we actually saw happen. And there have been a lot of snippy little digs at Laura, and Luke’s love for her that directly contradict what I saw on my screen in the 90s.)

  4. Oh, honey. You are not alone in your Sonny-induced nausea. I am so sick of him and so filled with hatred and disgust toward this character, and when I’m not sick of him, I’m bored to tears of him. It hurts me deeply to know that my newest favorite character is even remotely connected to him.

    I whipped through the week’s episodes in record time due to my current practice of skipping scenes involving Sonny or the mob. I officially only look forward to Dante and Lulu scenes now. I have no doubt that the magic of this pairing was an accident and in no way intentional on the part of the writing team.

    I had the exact same reaction to Luke’s WTF line. And I concur with your take on his relationship with Tracy – he treats her like crap most of the time, just by constantly bailing on her.

    You know, it’s sad that this show’s writers think they are being clever by setting up Kristina’s abuse storyline, and simultaneously think they are writing healthy relationships in Jason/Sam, Luke/Tracy and Sonny/Anybody. It’s ridiculous that we see Sam coaching her sister on a regular basis on how to respect oneself, and yet Sam spends every other scene stroking Jason’s ego and thanking him for letting her do it. There was actually a scene recently (that I actually watched a minute or so of) where Jason came home in his usual tizzy, and Sam started to talk about *gasp* something that was going on with her life. One look at his face and she said something like, “Oh…okay. We’re talking about that?” and completely switched gears to feed into Jason’s angst as per usual. I think that was right about when my finger hit the fast forward button. So much for self-respect, Sam.

    But back to the Sonny-hate. I wholeheartedly agree with your comment that he is now starting to contaminate characters that are usually enjoyable to watch, including Alexis and Robin. Truth be told, I haven’t liked Robin as a character much since she was a teenager. I love her with Patrick, and I like the actress, but I’ve often found adult Robin to be judgmental and a bit of a hypocrite. Her recent cheerleading antics are no surprise, but annoying nonetheless. And yes, all the truthtelling by other characters is nice, but ultimately not enough to conceal the blatant fact that Guza has a big ol’ hard-on for all things Sonny.

    • I totally remember that Sam/Jason scene! Un-freaking-believable. I almost wrote a post about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to listen to their entire conversation. Sam + Jason = insta-snooze.

  5. Completely agree with Robin acting truly unbelievable as a police commissioners niece. When she gave Patrick that line about Sonny not knowing that Dante was his son – I just had to laugh. It was so ridiculous! It would have been perfectly acceptable for Sonny to shoot and kill Ronnie, Mac or Lucky?? Or some other cop – as long as it wasnt his son, its okay. Patrick going to Sonny’s house and telling how he felt almost made up for it though.

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