We tend to get caught up in the hate around here a lot. Mostly, you know… because this show is aggressively terrible in almost every way.
But my co-blogger is right that despite Sonny’s trial taking up the lion’s share of airspace, the ratio of “genuinely-entertaining!” to “gauge-my-eyes-out-suck!” has actually been working in our favor for the last few days. So in the spirit of fairness, here are five things that haven’t enraged me about the show lately:
5) The Return of the Wards
When I first heard they were bringing the Ward sisters on, I thought it had to be an elaborate practical joke on the part of the writing staff. But lo and behold, Maya actually showed! And she’s kind of lovely so far, if a bit heavy on the soapy cliché of fiesty, independent young woman with a chip on her shoulder.
Since Maya’s also a triple rarity (i.e. Quartermaine, young, female legacy character, and not white), she’s clearly due to be brutally murdered during the next sweeps stunt, so we should all just enjoy her while we can. I intend to.
4) The Apology Heard ‘Round the World
Look, I know this isn’t exactly a new revelation. And no doubt it will be forgotten again by this time next week. But I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Jason admitting he was wrong to steal Michael from AJ. And it’s about damn time he said it to Robin’s face:
JASON: You know, I came here to apologize to you, and it’s long overdue. [Ed. note: IT’S 12 DAMN YEARS OVERDUE, ASSHOLE] You were right when you told AJ he was Michael’s father. I should have never pretended that he was my son.
Frankly, the only thing better would be if Carly had to sit and watch while he apologized to Robin, Monica, Edward, Alan’s ghost, and the rest of the town for subjecting us all to this decade’s long mess.
Look, a girl can dream, right?
3) Tracy motherfucking Quartermaine
Anyone who calls Carly out on her hypocrisy will always get my seal of approval, but very few can deliver a dose of cold, had truth like Jane Elliot. Her rant in defense of Lulu the other day was a thing of beauty, and I will treasure it forever.
(I should add that I’m really enjoying the fact that Carly has turned on Lulu so completely. Not only is it showing Lulu a side of her hero she’s never had to deal with before, but the Carly-fication of Lulu has bugged me for years, and it’s so nice to see it come back around to bite her in the ass. Guess what, Carly? You wanted to a be a role model for Lulu, and this is the result: she stands by her man no matter what, exactly as you have done so many times. Suck on it!)
2) Michael Corinthos Rises Again
I loved Drew Garrett in this role. I was heart-broken when I heard he was being replaced. And I still want to know what brought on the recast. But… Chad Duell has actually been pretty great so far. He’s got terrific chemistry with his siblings, an air of tragedy that’s much less tiring to watch than DG’s near-constant seething rage — as in character and affecting as that was — and he’s made me believe that he actually was the one that dropped that ax in Claudia’s skull all those months ago.
Of course, the side effect of this latest SORAS has been that Michael, only twelve years old a little over a year ago, now appears to be pushing thirty. Which lends some unintentional comedy to his scenes with the rest of the “younger” characters, since Michael’s only friends now seem to be about 20 years younger than him. Not to mention his father, over whom he now towers, or Jason, who no longer seems even remotely plausible as a father-figure to this kid. (Their jail scenes yesterday had a hilariously romantic tone — I was half expecting them to make out through the bars when Jason told him to remember their special beach in Mexico.)
In any case, I’m adjusting to the change much better than I thought I would, despite him being dropped into the story at a pivotal point which has been building for months. You win again, GH casting department! Now, why can’t some of that competence get spread around to the rest of the show?
1) Dante and Lulu make love knock boots do the wild thing have sex. FINALLY.
You knew this had to be number one, right? Way back when we were cataloging our favorite sexy moments, we talked a lot about how The Sexy really needed to be earned… which is why I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear me say how much today’s Dante/Lulu love-fest pleased me:
Pretty people! Wearing pretty underwear! Have pretty sex! Prettily!
This has been such a long time coming. Frankly, I didn’t know the writers had it in them — delayed gratification isn’t really their strong suit, you know? Considering that neither is romance, humor, continuity, long-term plotting, or paying attention to characters who aren’t in the mob, it really is something of a miracle that Dante and Lulu’s courtship has been handled as well as it has.
And the love scenes were steamy! No discreet clothes dropped around feet and fade to black for these two! In fact, I’m pretty sure we got some blurred side-boob there a couple of times. Plus extended making out, lingering lingerie shots, Dominic Zamprogna’s tramp stamp, and a hilariously inexplicable roaring fire backdrop in May. Oh, soaps.
And you know it was good sex, too, because check out Dante’s crazy, post-lovin’ hair:
(Yes, overzealous Dominic Zamprogna fans, I’m making fun of his hair again. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I mock with love, truly.)