And now, for something completely different.

We tend to get caught up in the hate around here a lot. Mostly, you know… because this show is aggressively terrible in almost every way.

But my co-blogger is right that despite Sonny’s trial taking up the lion’s share of airspace, the ratio of “genuinely-entertaining!” to “gauge-my-eyes-out-suck!” has actually been working in our favor for the last few days. So in the spirit of fairness, here are five things that haven’t enraged me about the show lately:

5) The Return of the Wards

When I first heard they were bringing the Ward sisters on, I thought it had to be an elaborate practical joke on the part of the writing staff. But lo and behold, Maya actually showed! And she’s kind of lovely so far, if a bit heavy on the soapy cliché of fiesty, independent young woman with a chip on her shoulder.

Since Maya’s also a triple rarity (i.e. Quartermaine, young, female legacy character, and not white), she’s clearly due to be brutally murdered during the next sweeps stunt, so we should all just enjoy her while we can. I intend to.

4) The Apology Heard ‘Round the World

Look, I know this isn’t exactly a new revelation. And no doubt it will be forgotten again by this time next week. But I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Jason admitting he was wrong to steal Michael from AJ. And it’s about damn time he said it to Robin’s face:

JASON: You know, I came here to apologize to you, and it’s long overdue. [Ed. note: IT’S 12 DAMN YEARS OVERDUE, ASSHOLE] You were right when you told AJ he was Michael’s father. I should have never pretended that he was my son.

Frankly, the only thing better would be if Carly had to sit and watch while he apologized to Robin, Monica, Edward, Alan’s ghost, and the rest of the town for subjecting us all to this decade’s long mess.

Look, a girl can dream, right?

3) Tracy motherfucking Quartermaine

Anyone who calls Carly out on her hypocrisy will always get my seal of approval, but very few can deliver a dose of cold, had truth like Jane Elliot. Her rant in defense of Lulu the other day was a thing of beauty, and I will treasure it forever.

(I should add that I’m really enjoying the fact that Carly has turned on Lulu so completely. Not only is it showing Lulu a side of her hero she’s never had to deal with before, but the Carly-fication of Lulu has bugged me for years, and it’s so nice to see it come back around to bite her in the ass. Guess what, Carly? You wanted to a be a role model for Lulu, and this is the result: she stands by her man no matter what, exactly as you have done so many times. Suck on it!)

2) Michael Corinthos Rises Again

I loved Drew Garrett in this role. I was heart-broken when I heard he was being replaced. And I still want to know what brought on the recast. But… Chad Duell has actually been pretty great so far. He’s got terrific chemistry with his siblings, an air of tragedy that’s much less tiring to watch than DG’s near-constant seething rage — as in character and affecting as that was — and he’s made me believe that he actually was the one that dropped that ax in Claudia’s skull all those months ago.

Of course, the side effect of this latest SORAS has been that Michael, only twelve years old a little over a year ago, now appears to be pushing thirty. Which lends some unintentional comedy to his scenes with the rest of the “younger” characters, since Michael’s only friends now seem to be about 20 years younger than him. Not to mention his father, over whom he now towers, or Jason, who no longer seems even remotely plausible as a father-figure to this kid. (Their jail scenes yesterday had a hilariously romantic tone — I was half expecting them to make out through the bars when Jason told him to remember their special beach in Mexico.)

In any case, I’m adjusting to the change much better than I thought I would, despite him being dropped into the story at a pivotal point which has been building for months. You win again, GH casting department! Now, why can’t some of that competence get spread around to the rest of the show?

1) Dante and Lulu make love knock boots do the wild thing have sex. FINALLY.

You knew this had to be number one, right? Way back when we were cataloging our favorite sexy moments, we talked a lot about how The Sexy really needed to be earned… which is why I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear me say how much today’s Dante/Lulu love-fest pleased me:

Pretty people! Wearing pretty underwear! Have pretty sex! Prettily!

This has been such a long time coming. Frankly, I didn’t know the writers had it in them — delayed gratification isn’t really their strong suit, you know? Considering that neither is romance, humor, continuity, long-term plotting, or paying attention to characters who aren’t in the mob, it really is something of a miracle that Dante and Lulu’s courtship has been handled as well as it has.

And the love scenes were steamy! No discreet clothes dropped around feet and fade to black for these two! In fact, I’m pretty sure we got some blurred side-boob there a couple of times. Plus extended making out, lingering lingerie shots, Dominic Zamprogna’s tramp stamp, and a hilariously inexplicable roaring fire backdrop in May. Oh, soaps.

And you know it was good sex, too, because check out Dante’s crazy, post-lovin’ hair:

(Yes, overzealous Dominic Zamprogna fans, I’m making fun of his hair again. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I mock with love, truly.)

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15 thoughts on “And now, for something completely different.

  1. “(Their jail scenes yesterday had a hilariously romantic tone — I was half expecting them to make out through the bars when Jason told him to remember their special beach in Mexico.)”
    ———–
    -**Dies laughing** I was thinking the same thing. When Michael closed his eyes, I so wanted a flashback of them running on the beach. I miss Drew, also. But Chad has won me over.
    -I rewatched Tracy’s smackdown on Carly about 10 times. It was fantastic. Of course, it went in one ear and out the other. Carly will never learn.
    -Jason FINALLY apologized to Robin…TO HER FACE! Hell has frozen over, for real.
    -Dante and Lulu sexin’ each other up was good TV. They got a bed and everything. No couch sex for these two.

    • Jason’s unintentional chemistry with Sonny has amused me for years, but lately, his unintentional chemistry with Lucky and now Michael has been off the charts. I have a feeling the soap in my head is going to involve a lot of his and Michael’s tortured forbidden love…

    • Now they just need a place that everyone and their extended family don’t wantonly stroll into on a daily basis. ;D

      • Seriously, what the hell is up with that? Are we supposed to believe that a police officer’s home is not secure in the slightest? Oh, wait a minute, this is the same show on which a toddler who has just learned the magic of grasping and turning could easily penetrate the “heavy” security of the mob boss’ fortress.

  2. Tracy’s epic smackdown of Carly….following that lovely bit of truth telling by the judge who so cruelly teased me with the idea of family-style jail cells was certainly highlight of the week bar none! Tracy pointing out Carly brought this on herself and she chooses Sonny over everyone all the time was excellent. (And I know Claire is annoying but she earned some points from me when she snapped at Claire basically the same information.)

    The other unintentional comedy of Michael’s giant status is that I get a serious case of the giggles when Jason and Carly start waxing like Michael is a two year old with their “he can’t handle it” “I just want to hold him like I did when he was a baby” yammering. I know I’m supposed to feel sympathetic to their plight but it makes me laugh the harder when they do this and he’s sitting there dwarfing them.

    Chad has been great….I think he would be excellent if he was playing a character that would have some time on the backburner to really get a handle on the character. But it’s Michael so that’s out but for someone who was dropped into probably one of the most awkward and difficult recast situations in recent memory…..he’s impressing the hell out of me.

    While I agree Jason’s apology was LONG overdue (much like the one he issued to AJ’s tombstone a few years ago when he realized “hey….it kinda sucks to give up a kid you don’t want to cause someone doesn’t think you’d be a good father”) it was tempered for me by Robin’s immediate comment of the Qs being crazy and who was to say Michael would have been better off. The Qs would have at least waited till he was in college before he committed his first major felony Robin! they have morals!

    • Yeah, although I liked that Robin didn’t back down completely — she didn’t try and say she was wrong to tell AJ or anything. And she said that if anything, it was her fault for not telling truth sooner, which I appreciated.

      Carly and Jason both waxing poetic about Michael as a baby is just so hysterical now that he is CLEARLY PUSHING THIRTY. (Actually, I have no idea how old Chad Duell is, but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear he’s close to my age.)

    • I see Claire becoming a sympathetic character in the future. She was an adversary because it was her job. She’s overzealous; but it’s because she truly believes in what she does. She’s ambitious, and wants to further her career. But she takes the law and the legal system seriously; it’s her life. And when it became clear to her that she (and the law) had been had, it was the ultimate insult—like family being robbed. She’s concerned about the impact that it will have on her career; but she also honestly is pissed off that mockery was made of the law.

  3. As for Sonny being pissed that Dante was hidden from him, i’m just itching for someone to corner his ass and point out to him that by keeping them out of each other’s lives, Olivia did for Dante exactly what Sonny’s been moaning for ages about wishing he could do for the children that he raised: give them a life not connected to the world of his business.

  4. You know, I completely missed the apology because of my policy of fast-forwarding through most of Jason’s scenes, especially ones that consist of:

    Jason: Boo hoo. Poor me. I’m so tortured. I feel guilty even though I always do the right thing.
    Carly/Sam/Robin/whichever idiot friend takes the bait: You always do the right thing, and you should be knighted.

    Must admit, though, I resent that Carly, Jason and Sonny are having more and more scenes with the characters I actually want to watch, and even when they’re not IN the scenes, my characters spend their scenes *talking* about them! KILL ME. I actually fast forwarded through part of a Dante/Lulu scene last week! The horror!

    Speaking of Dante and Lulu…wow. I watched the magic scene twice. These two sizzle!

    I am on board with all of your picks, but the one I’m most surprised to be on board with is the issue of the Michael recast. I also loved Drew Garrett, and I couldn’t imagine GH casting anyone who would draw me in immediately. I stand corrected! NuMichael is fantastic and I like the soulful direction he’s taking the character in.

    (p.s. don’t forget it’s quite normal for an 18 year old boy to tower over his father – but I will take any chance to take a dig at Sonny.)

    Wow, if only the casting department would sprinkle some of their fairy dust on Guza and his team of lunatics.

    • Yeah, the height thing wouldn’t be so jarring if it wasn’t such a contrast from how much younger he was — not only originally, but in the last SORAS.

      I have total Sonny/Carly/Jason fatigue as well. They have infected every aspect of the canvas and it is so very, very tiring. (I’m putting off watching Friday’s episode right now because I know it’s just going to be filled with the three of them pissing and moaning and screaming at the injustice of their actions coming back to bite them in the ass. *yawns*

  5. Seriously could Dante and Lulu be any HOTTER?!?!?!!?!?! Holy crap i think i’ve watched there scenes from May 5th and May 6th over a 1,000 times already!!

  6. Pingback: We gather together… for a pretty decent episode, actually. « Despair in the Afternoon

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