… no. Not men with babies. (Although the baby playing Josslyn put more into that one scene than some of the adult actors *coughTylerChristophercough* have all year. And yes, it was adorable.)
On the other hand, the amount of whinging to which we’ve recently been subjected from supposedly grown men on this show? Pretty much the opposite of adorable. And if I never have to listen to — well, fast forward through while violently rolling my eyes, at least — another diatribe from any man on this show about the cruel oppression of home ownership, or, you know, having a family that loves you… it will be much, much too soon.
LUKE: You know, a bar is supposed to be a sanctuary, a cathedral where a man can find refuge.
So quoth Lucas Lorenzo Sr., the perennial boy who will never grow up. Yes, ladies. You might not realize this, but drinking, along with — apparently — a desire to have fun in general, is the sole province of men. Sorry. On the plus side, it looks like Patrick, at least, is happy to cede both dignity and professional integrity to the fairer sex. So at least we’ve still got that going for us.
Patrick, Patrick, Patrick… I think it’s time we had a little chat. Because I want to not want to punch you in the face every time I see you. But you’re making it really hard.
Let’s review: nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to get married. (Well, no one other than Mac.) In fact, as I recall, it was Robin — knowing how in love you were with your own immaturity — who tried her damnedest to shield you from the horrors of being tied down to a life of upper middle class comfort. But you insisted — INSISTED — that she had to marry you, and you had to raise that adorable daughter of yours. So seriously, and I mean this with a lot of love: take your minivan and your pity party and go fuck yourself.
(I’d ask if he could possibly be any more obnoxious, but the answer with these writers is always: 1) YES, and 2) have you met Nikolas lately?)
Of course, no discussion of childishness and douchery in Port Charles could ever be complete without the mack daddy of both:
SONNY: You know what, I admit… I’ll be the first to admit that Michael’s childhood was hell. But you know what it’s like to have everyone around say you’re a bad father over and over and over again?
Translation: sure, it may suck to have your life basically ruined by someone else’s selfish choices. But that pales in comparison to the pain of being forced to face the fact that your selfish choices ruined someone else’s life. You know, kind of like how being called out for saying racist things is worse than being the victim of actual racism!
(Or… so every single internet conversation about racism has led me to believe. Because the internet, like Port Charles, is full of entitled assholes.)
On a completely unrelated note, I present to you, without commentary, possibly the most accurate dialog ever spoken on this show:
JASON: I will tell you everything I know about Franco. I gotta warn you, a lot of it’s not going to make any sense.
I… can’t possibly top that. So I won’t even try.