GH may have finally broken my brain.

Do you ever try to use your computer and it freezes? Your e-mail gives you the message “still working…” and the hourglass comes up, and you want to die of frustration. This is what my brain has been doing all week as I’ve tried to process the nonsense GH is throwing at us. My thoughts get stuck in a loop trying to make logic out of the illogical.

Why would Franco kidnap a baby? Who knows! Why would Jason and Dante think Franco is dead without even looking closely at his body? Got me! How is there a woman who lives in Port Charles with the last name of Morgan that we’ve never heard about before? (And isn’t related to Lila? Really?) Well, Port Charles is an epic city when the writers want it to be. How ingenious is this lady that she could pull off not only kidnapping a baby, but somehow arrange for the baby to be put in the room number 66 and have a patient ID ending with the number 66? WHY AM I ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS? I’m just inflicting unnecessary pain on myself when there are so many other things happening on the show that give me the sensation of sharp needles shoved under my fingernails every time I watch them.

The pain I’m referring to, of course, is the fact that the three men I have loved so much in good ole’ Port Charles are becoming less and less tolerable.

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Patrick jumped the shark long ago. We totally called this Scrubs plot when it began over six months ago. I’m torn because I think it could be an interesting story, but the reasons they gave Patrick for cheating were just so stupid. If they couldn’t come up with something that didn’t destroy his character then they should have had this story go forward without him sleeping with Lisa. Now every time Robin expresses how grateful she is for what a wonderful husband Patrick is, I want to upchuck. Making us watch while Robin defends Patrick is just an added “screw you” to any Scrubs fan. Thanks a lot, writers.

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Johnny has been teetering on the rails for a while. His lack of action in the Kristina plot worried me. I find his obsession with revenge to be a potentially interesting story, but not at the expense of an underage girl. That ‘s just gross. Fortunately, he came out of that story only slightly tarnished, and I am enjoying this angst with Olivia — but why do they have to throw Brook Lynn into the mix? That girl is obnoxious. Although I do have to admit, that my heart flutters whenever Johnny tells her straight out that he loves Olivia and would go back to her under any circumstance. Add that to his sheer awe when Olivia told him about her actions during the hospital shooting, and my fire for Johnny will continue to burn, even if a bit diminished. A man who loves a woman for unabashedly being herself is truly worthy of my drool.

I really wish they would have Johnny pull a stunt to hurt Sonny that has an unintended consequence so that something could jolt him off this one note revenge plot. It was fine for a while, but we are heading into year two of this and it’s getting old.  At least Olivia is finally putting her foot down. Her angst and back and forth with him has been really hot and I appreciate her finally setting a limit with him. Too bad that means more screen time for Johnny and Brook Lynn.

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And that leads to my third man fallen from grace: Dante. No, not Dante, you say! Well, I thought he could do no wrong, until he seemed to catch the same case of misogyny most other men of Port Charles have. He practically ordered Brook Lynn not to spend time with Johnny. Caveman much? Can we let Dante stick to what he is good at — being sweet with Lulu, respecting women and having a moral compass? Giving friendly advice against Johnny is one thing; pressuring her to leave is another. Just stop, please.

In other news, Matt! Is actually getting screen time! And I should be happy, but the mess Scrubs mess and the way they’ve forced this Maxie relationship makes it hard to enjoy it. The writers seem to take months to develop some relationships and then practically fast-forward through others. Matt and Maxie could actually have reasons to grow to like one another, but instead they used the tired “make Spinelli jealous” routine. Then, as soon as Maxie decides she might actually like Matt, they have them sleep together off-screen. No build up. No tension. No excitement. It’s obnoxious. I wish I could care about them, but I can’t.

So, as they say, what goes up must come down. And down, down, down the show has gone in the last few months. Which isn’t even taking my issues with Franco into consideration. But as I’ve said before, thinking about that only gives me a bad case of psychomotor disassociative disorder…


One thought on “GH may have finally broken my brain.

  1. I can’t believe what a trainwreck it still is! Maybe having taken the summer off hasn’t been such a bad idea. Isn’t there even any cuteness involving Dante and Lulu you can entertain me with? How could they have a sex scene between Maxie and Matt offscreen when it could have been so hot to watch? Remember when summer on GH was fun and sultry? But let me guess: I suppose they had a long drawn out scene with Patrick and Lisa, right?

    Yeah, I see what you mean. My brain’s starting to do that hourglass thing.

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