Ah, memories.

In the spirit of nostalgia, I’m not going to spend any time complaining about the contrivance of Sonny going to Rome to find Brenda out of the blue after barely remembering her existence for seven years. Or the fact that he pretty much isn’t worthy of licking her five-inch stiletto boots at the moment.

Because look at them! Just grinning at each other! So cute!

I am such a sucker, you guys. Seriously.

I don’t even care how silly “The Balkan” sounds. Silly enemies used to be S&B’s bread and butter! (Remember the Tin Man saga?) And I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but it’s actually nice to see Sonny pointing his gun at someone in a wacky action/adventure plot instead of yet another stupid mob stand-off. Sonny used to do his own stunts a lot more, you know? I liked him so much better when he was willing to run around risking his life protecting the people he loved from assorted evil goons, rather than just sitting around shouting orders at Jason over the phone.

Meanwhile, I think I’m starting to like Poor Man’s Matt Damon. So much so that I’m going to grant him his actual name for this brilliant exchange:

MURPHY: If they catch her, they could kill her!
SUZANNE: And if Interpol gets to her instead? Who do you think she’s gonna want to kill?
MURPHY: I don’t give a damn! I just want her to be safe!
SUZANNE: Well, then we just have to wait until we hear from her.
MURPHY: THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

Oh, Poor Man’s Matt Damon Murphy, you are so on the wrong show if you’re expecting things to make sense.

Back in Port Charles, there were more fatal attraction-style doings at the hospital. (And yes, I laughed at the boiling stuffed bunny. If you’re going to steal this blatantly, you might as well acknowledge it in an amusing way. That’s more than we usually get from Guza’s “homages.”) Robin punching Lisa kind of made my night, although I can’t believe she’d be that stupid, knowing that Lisa’s trying to set her up. Still, it was awesome.

Also awesome? Maxie! My new theory is that the level of a character’s likeability is inversely proportional to his/her proximity to Spinelli. How else to explain Maxie’s sudden turn around after their overdue but still strangely out-of-nowhere break up?

Since then, she’s been lovingly protective of Mac, a good friend to both Lucky and Lulu, deliciously hateful to both Lisa and Brook Lynn, and finally open to seeing how great Matt can be — although as usual, that hook up was rushed and anticlimactic after years of dragging it out in a giant, unsatisfying tease, but… whatever. At least now we have some forward momentum.

Side note: I’m not sure where they’re going with this renewed Maxie/Lucky friendship. I never thought that Maxie and Lucky had any chemistry during their first go around, but Jonathan Jackson seems much less cradle-robbey with Kristin Storms than Greg Vaughan did, and they have a cute sparkle together now that their relationship is more sweet and less sleazy.

(By the way, anyone who said the writers would never let Lucky stay a cop with Jonathan Jackson back in the role, prepare to collect your winnings. God forbid my dream of Dante and Lucky as fabulous BFF cop buddies come true. Although the way things are headed, odds are that Dante will quit the force within a year and they can be BFF criminal buddies together. In which case, I swear, I will… write a REALLY angry rant about it on the internet. Yes, my threats need more work. The point is: this show is ass. Always and forever.)

Poor Michael. The last few years of his life have been a living hell. And because he is literally the only functioning mental adult on this show at the moment, instead of taking the time to deal with his own monumental crap, he’s forced to spend every waking moment putting out fires and playing the voice of reason with his entire crazy family.

I kind of love him, you know?

Witness his reaction to Kristina’s 8,959th hysterical freak out about Sonny:

KRISTINA: Sorry. I don’t know why I get so emotional about dad.
MICHAEL: Well, you’re an emotional person. It’s one of your nicest qualities, actually.

That’s… one way of putting it, sure.

(Look, you all no how much I love little K and her unending hate for Sonny. But even I am getting tired of listening spout the same rant about him at this point. Clearly, Michael has the soul of a diplomat and/or a saint.)

Further proof:.

KRISTINA: Are you sure you’re okay?
MICHAEL: I feel like a jerk. Ali was just trying to be nice. I should have handled it a lot better than I did.

Since “Ali” — who we’ll apparently being seeing a lot more of soon — is quite possibly the pushiest, most unable-to-take-hint moron this side of Spinelli, I think he actually deserves a knighthood for handling it as well as he did. And can I just say that it is hilarious to see how much Chad Duell’s calm, rational Michael has changed from Drew Garrett’s hotheaded rage-monkey? In fact, the only thing both versions of Michael share…

… is a truly disturbing amount of chemistry with Kristina. (I know! I try to ignore it, but there’s such a shortage of characters who sparkle with each other on this show and I think I’m getting a little starved for it.)

Not sure if that says more about me or the writers. Possibly both.

THIS SHOW IS WARPING MY BRAIN. SEND HELP.

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8 thoughts on “Ah, memories.

  1. No the show is not warping your brain. I too have noticed the Inappropriate!Sibling!Chemistry! between Michael and Kristina. And since well they are techincally cousins and not siblings (Yes Guza I remember that AJ is Michael’s bio dad!) I have wondered if GH would go skipping down GL’s “half cousins” lane.

    I’m pretty convinced that the only reason for Maxie/Lucky stuff is because Maxie/Lucky is a pretty reliable font of internet talk and fan spec. And since at the time of the Mucky go-around the show was taking great pains to make Lucky like the MOST EVIL VILE AWFUL PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF EVER AND YES THAT INCLUDES HITLER….I’m sure making him look like a cradle-robber was just a bonus cherry on the character assisnation sundae for them. And I know what upcoming storyline you are referring to and frankly it just sound sooo unbelievable dumb and beyond stupid to me that I can do nothing but laugh at the entire thing. Especailly at the fact taht Guza seems to have missed the entire notion that a lot of viewers HATE the deadbeat loser Luke has turned into and really don’t want ANYONE to become more like him period. Also…like that whole thing won’t flip once Guza decides it’s time to reveal Aiden’s real paternity? YAWN. Wake me when we have something actually character driven and not a plot designed to fill Jonathan Jackson’s time while Becky Herbst is on maternity leave.

    I am epically liking Poor Man’s Matt Damon….because Poor Man’s Matt Damon or not…..he’s miles better than the options Brenda has waiting for her back in Port Charles.

    • Wait, how are Kristina and Michael cousins? As far as I know, they’re not related by blood at all… But yeah, the chemistry is really unfortunate. Honestly, I’d be more willing to accept biological siblings who grew up apart falling for each other than I would non-biological siblings who grew up thinking of each other as family. The writing has taken great pains to establish that Michael and Kristina grew up together, so I really hope they don’t go there. Still, it’s hard to ignore.

      Ah, well.

      • Ahh see i had a total brain fart/blonde moment and confused Molly and Michael there. Yes I know that was totally creepy of me but that’s the only thing I can figure that I was thinking. (hey it’s been some long days at work. Like 12-13 hours days. The brain melts after a minute) As you are correct and Kristina and Michael are not blood related…..well I would prefer your scenario but it’s Bob Guza. I trust nothing that got buzz on another show/movie won’t end up with him babbling on about how “new and different” what he’s doing is.

  2. I really wish I could collect some winnings for calling the Lucky plot, but alas, there is no bright side to this storyline.

    Agreed on the scrubs plot. Oddly enough, agreed on S&B (WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?).

    Months ago I would have been so excited about a high school plot. I’d be really glad to see Michael get to have his own life and maybe they’ll finally bring in Maya’s sister? But I have no doubt they will piss this opportunity away like they do everything else.

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