… or with a wimper. But with one last SUPER CRAZY, bug-eyed monologue and a weirdly rushed wrap-up.
LISA: You know what, of you course you would blame me. The evil ex-girlfriend who couldn’t get over a college crush. Because there’s no way that you, the faithful husband, ever encouraged me. I must have imagined the flirting and the jealousy, and you punching Steve for taking what’s yours. But you know what? That must mean that I’m CRAZY. That I’m sick in the head.
Well, I’m no expert, Lisa. But I’m pretty sure that it was all the stalking and murder that made you crazy. But don’t let that stop you from chewing the HELL out of that scenery, girl.
(I am so going to miss Brianna Brown, you guys. And who would have guessed that sentence would ever come out of my keyboard? Not me from six months ago, that’s for sure!)
So, after about a minute and a half of gun-waving monologuing, Lisa was carted off to Shadybrook, home of all Port Charles’ hysterical ladies. And then the meta began:
MAYA: Wow. Lisa seemed so normal.
ROBIN: Well, no one knew how crazy Lisa was up until a few weeks ago.
HAHAHA, yes. Almost like her “personality” was “written” in a jarringly different way all of a sudden! Imagine that. But wait, here’s Patrick with the final word on this whole saga:
PATRICK: I don’t think I’ll ever understand why I slept with Lisa.
That’s okay, Patrick. The writers never really understood it either.
Of course, before all that, we had some fun with ghost hallucinations down a well. Which I guess is my cue to confess that I was never that into Robin and Stone. Not that I had anything against them! I thought their story was interesting. And I was as much of a snotty, blubbery mess as the next girl when he died.
But there was such an embarrassment of riches in terms of compelling couples and stories in 90s General Hospital! And my hormones were way to busy swooning over Brenda and Sonny to get pay much attention to Stone and Robin.
(The irony of this in light of recent events has not escaped me.)
All this is my way of saying that I felt a mild sense of trepidation when I heard he was coming back for a cameo, but I wasn’t overly invested. So imagine my surprise when his scenes turned out to be utterly delightful! Genuinely touching! Respectful of history! And otherwise altogether entertaining!
Also, it does not hurt that — in the words of my mother — Michael Sutton has aged EXTREMELY well. (Actually, her exact words were: “He looked just like Tyrone Power!” But that’s probably TMI.)
ROBIN: But I’ve always carried you with me. I’ve never let go, never forgotten you. God, I remember the first time that I met you. I remember thinking–
STONE: What an obnoxious jerk?
ROBIN: No! What a cute obnoxious jerk you were.
STONE: We were teenagers when I died. You’ve had all these years to build me up in your memory and you forget the ways I failed you.
ROBIN: You didn’t fail me. You were the love of my life.
STONE: I careless. I slept with a girl I knew did intravenous drugs. I only got tested for HIV once I told you you were safe with me. And it wasn’t true.
ROBIN: We made those mistakes together. It wasn’t your fault.
STONE: You still can’t let yourself get angry with me. Even after all these years. You need to see me for who I was. And you need to let me go. Or you really cannot move on.
Heart-wrenching, yet true!
Kudos, writers. That’s one cherished memory from this show’s past that you haven’t (yet) managed to taint.