Somebody break this down for me, please…

Hey, remember how hung up I used to get on petty little details like Scotty prosecuting his own son’s murder case?

HAHAHA! Now I realize how hopelessly naive that was. Because the only thing more annoying than the writers acting like the concept of conflict of interest doesn’t exist is the writers: 1) acknowledging it, and then, 2) COMPLETELY IGNORING IT ANYWAY.

In other words: this bullshit with Claire is fast reaching a whole other level of stupidity.

So help me out here, readers. I am given to understand that Claire has officially registered a conflict of interest in regard to Sonny. I know this, despite trying my hardest to watch as little of her scenes as possible, because it’s been repeated by virtually EVERY CHARACTER ON THE SHOW ad nauseam for weeks.

(I mean, clearly, the writers haven’t actually forgotten that piece of their own recent history, because THEY are the ones who keep bringing it up.)

And yet! Somehow, at the same time, we’re meant to believe that there is literally NO ONE ELSE who could handle this amazingly incriminating evidence which just fell out of the sky, and that somehow makes it okay for Claire to know about details of the case being built against her boyfriend and also, to officially question him. What, did Port Charles fire all their other prosecutors when Claire came to town? Seriously?

(Also, can we talk for a minute about why the hell this is only showing up now? What was Homeland Security waiting for? And if it was that easy to get a wire tap up on Sonny, then why hasn’t anyone sent his sloppy ass to prison years ago? The man is no Stringer Bell, you know?  He talks about everything openly on the phone.)

Naturally, the show — and Sonny — would like us all to believe that Claire horribly betrayed him by “turning him in,” whatever that means. Unfortunately for the writers, they forgot to actually write the part of the story where she really had much of anything to do with it, other than acting as a completely unnecessary middle man. So the outrage is all a little forced.

But that doesn’t Sonny’s fragile heart from being deeply WOUNDED and OFFENDED, y’all!

SONNY: I underestimated you. Big mistake! I got totally out-played.
CLAIRE: It wasn’t like that.
SONNY: No? Feels like that from here.
CLAIRE: Sonny, I didn’t seek evidence against you. All I did was turn it over to the proper authorities!
SONNY: No. What you did is you chose between me and your job. I lost.

Yes, what was Claire thinking — choosing to not risk prison time or disbarment by futilely destroying evidence to cover for this petulant and self-righteous criminal who is openly using her as his personal fuck toy distraction from being rejected by the woman he really loves? Priorities!

But no, the fact that Sonny is guilty of a horrific crime is less appalling than the fact that Claire didn’t give him a warning (and presumably, time to flee the country. Again) before banging him last night. Lest that little, niggling detail of Sonny’s guilt distract you from how put-upon and USED he is by this whole ordeal, however, let the fine men and women of Port Charles law enforcement set you straight:

DANTE: It’s ironic, you know? I mean, years of getting away with murder and what brings down Sonny finally but being a father. He’s so crazed by what didn’t even happen between Johnny and Kristina, he made a fatal error. And that’s going to cost him everything — his love for his daughter.

[…]

CLAIRE: I was really hoping that you would be as good a criminal as you claimed. That you would not get caught. That there would be no trace. And I’m not expressing any hope that you would give up a life of crime, because I’m not that naive. I think I still hoped that you would be so successful my conflict wouldn’t be put to the test.

Your criminal justice system at work, ladies and gentlemen!

Putting aside the fact that she shouldn’t have had to worry about testing her conflict because she shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near any case involving him. Ever. Full stop. But putting that aside… wow. Sonny’s only crime is being too good a father? Nearly blowing Kristina up is a sign of loving her too much? And Claire’s only regret is not that she got involved with a murderous thug, but that he wasn’t better at covering up his murderous thuggery?

I… I give up, you guys. This is so effed, I can’t even rant about it anymore.

But what hurts me the most about this entire story, is that it’s all such a tease. They’re never going to actually send Sonny Corinthos to prison. Never, never, never. No matter what he does, not matter how air tight the “proof” is… he’ll never have to pay for anything. Ever.

So what’s the point of these endless “Sonny on trial!” stories? I cannot believe they are suspenseful to anyone who actually still likes Sonny. Those fans have to know he’s never going to be punished as much as I do. And frankly, it’s just mean to keep teasing all the viewers who hate him with these dangling carrots of “maybe this time justice will be served!”

Don’t be cruel, writers. It doesn’t become you.

But it wasn’t all doom and gloom today, because Brenda finally paid a visit to the Quartermaines. (Insert your own rant here about how she STILL hasn’t found time to even meet Emma, and how the writers missed the perfect opportunity to have her show up to the birthday party.)

Anyway, she and Edward talked about Lila and it was sweet and lovely and made me sniffle a bit because I am PMSing and also DON’T JUDGE ME, OKAY?

EDWARD: Oh, I’ve been meaning to thank you for the very lovely letter of condolence you wrote when Lila died. It’s just not my thing. Ah, more Lila’s bailiwick, you know — thank you notes. But it was really appreciated.
BRENDA: Well. You know how much I loved Lila. I just wish some of her wisdom and grace would have rubbed off on me. I really have been wanting to tell you for a while how sorry I am that I wasn’t able to make it to her funeral. But every time I pass a rosebush, I always think of Lila.
EDWARD: You know, would you come with me into Lila’s sitting room? I want to give you a remembrance from her.
BRENDA: Oh, really, I don’t need anything…
EDWARD: Lila would be happy, and so am I. You see, know that you are carrying a piece of Lila with you would make me very happy.

Oh, my heart, you guys. I really miss Lila.

 

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4 thoughts on “Somebody break this down for me, please…

  1. when it comes to Sonny and his never ending, completely predictable, completely removed from realtiy trials (So so far removed they should just be animated Disney musicals cause then at least we’d get some good songs out of it. “HE’S INNOCENT…..INNOCENT…….CAN’T YOU TELL HE’S INNOCENT….” Oh sorry started composing songs there) this show is a broken a-hole in that regard.

    Why they ever think we are EVER concerned that Sonny or anyone else is going to jail is beyond me. Half the time I think they just don’t care and the other half I think they really think we don’t know you can flip the channel and find a rerun of Law & Order in various formats roughly 24 hours a frigging day.

    I’m sitting here trying to remember the last prosector who didn’t have a clear conflict of interest when it came to the exercise in futlity that is going after Sonny and the only one I can come up with is….Dara Jensen. and clearly since she was an African American woman who was smart, independent and hated criminals…..she was an abomination we couldn’t continue to see.

    • Ah, Dara. So much potential, so little actual story.

      Scott didn’t have a conflict of interest with Sonny, did he? I mean, he hated him too much to be objective, and Sonny did kind of supply drugs to and then sleep with Scotty’s teenage daughter… nevermind. I think I just answered my own question.

  2. In this never-ending, rinse and repeat (and I’m not even certain they attempt to rinse the residual crap out of it anymore) drama of Sonny & Company … we don’t really need words.

    The ratings say it all. Last Friday … second day of sweeps … 1.5

    Speaks volumes. If anyone were actually listening. Which they probably aren’t.

    • I really do wonder what it would take to get any sort of shake up on the writing staff at this point. Clearly, ratings or quality make no difference.

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