I spent most of Friday’s episode pondering this point.
First, there was Sonny, whose nervous rambling while working himself up to asking Dante to be his best man might have been a little cute if he hadn’t thrown in a dig about how he thought they’d “be in a better place by now.” Because it hasn’t even been a year since he tried to murder Dante in cold blood, but I guess holding onto that grudge is just petty in Sonny’s world.
DANTE: Let’s not get into a debate about whether I should or shouldn’t be your best man. I’m coming to the wedding. Let’s let that be enough.
SONNY: Well, I’ll take it. If I have to. [Ed. note: Big of you, Sonny. Truly.] But it’s just, like, Michael’s idea. And I want to do it for him.
DANTE: I’ll explain it to Michael.
SONNY: Well, explain it– can you just explain it to me?
ME: I’ll explain it. YOU SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST, YOU EFFING IDIOT. Do you not remember that? Does ANYONE?
Apparently not. Because we’re meant to believe Dante’s reluctance is all about his completely annoying love for Brenda. Which–whatever, writers. Seriously.
(Also, in the line at the supermarket yesterday, the soap magazines informed me we should be expecting a WEDDING DAY BLOODBATH, to the shock on no one who has ever watched this show before, so perhaps they think it’s the viewers who have amnesia.)
Brook Lynn has also been forgetting things. Like the fact that she could not possible have seen Liz rejecting Nik over and over unless she’s been hiding a time machine that lets her go back and watch sucky plots from before she came back to town. Or the fact that she herself currently holds the title for Biggest Manipulative Asshole For Money on the show right now.
BROOK LYNN: Look, I saw how hurt Nikolas was when she continuously rejected him — and she wasn’t even nice about it. Right? She was dismissive and demeaning and withholding even though they just had this new baby... So, here’s the part that doesn’t make sense to me. So, after all of that, she starts showing up. All the time. Wanting to be with him, and it’s like she’s using this baby as a sacrificial offering.
Yes, because encouraging Nikolas to take an interest in his child more than once a week is exactly like human sacrifice. (What? What does that even MEAN? Oh, Brook, you idiotic drama queen. Seriously. Cash your checks and take a chill pill, please.)
The funniest part of this entire speech was watching Lucky’s clear desire to be anywhere else flit across his face as he was forced to listen to his brother’s escort have a jealous snit about the ex-wife who cheated on him with said brother. Oh, Lucky. Just go to your happy place, hon.
For once, Nikolas actually had an appropriate reaction to something having to do with Elizabeth and Lucky:
NIKOLAS: You honestly thought that was a good idea?
Apparently, Brook did. Because she might have been willing to drug and rape an old friend for money — and no, I will never stop harping on that, because Jesus Christ, writers, that is not something a character just bounces back from, no matter how much you wish they would — but the thought of Elizabeth receiving child support from the father of one of her children makes her “sick to her stomach.”
She really said that. I just–I can’t even… GOD. HATE.
Last but not least, Johnny forgot not to be a tremendous douchebag. And that means, sadly, that he is officially dead to me now. Just thought you all should know.