This week on GH, i.e. General Horror…

I’m sure that I’m supposed to say General Hospital’s decision to have one of it’s most iconic anti-heroes accidentally run over his own four year old grandson is shocking!, bold! and daring! Or some other variation thereof.

And I suppose those things are true… but as much as I rail against predictability on this show, doing the opposite of what’s predictable doesn’t automatically mean whatever you’re doing is a good idea.

Credit where credit is due, the core Spencers have really stepped up their game for this. Jonathan Jackson has always been good at sincere histrionics, and lord knows Tony Geary is actually capable of chewing scenery with the best of ’em when he decides the material is worthy of his attention. So Lucky’s screaming, crying, begging confrontation with Luke was — if not entertaining (because I wouldn’t call any of this really entertainment) — at least compelling.

Then there’s Lulu: helpless in the face of Lucky’s grief, wanting to reconcile with Elizabeth but not sure how, completely shutting down over the enormity of learning Luke was the one responsible… all of her scenes have rung emotionally true.

But overall? This is such a cold story. It has no heart.

I’m the last person in the world to ask for more Sonny scenes, but his oldest friend just killed his best friend’s child. For once, his presence in a story actually makes sense. What doesn’t make sense? The decision to have him learn about Jake off screen, act as if cutting his honeymoon short to comfort his grieving friend is a huge burden, and then give them a stilted scene where they act like colleagues who barely know each other. I mean, really. Would it have killed them to actually hug or something?

Most of the story has played out the same way — weirdly rushed and hitting the wrong emotional beats. On any other show, if a man was responsible for the death of his own grandson, he’d be upset not just at the damage done to his relationship with his own child, but because he actually loved the child he killed. On this one, I’d be surprised if Luke could have picked Jake out of a lineup.

Meanwhile, Bobby’s absence from this story — which recreates the death of her own daughter, features an emergency organ transplant for her granddaughter, and involves her brother accidentally killing her nephew’s son — has now passed beyond egregious straight into some nebulous land where ridiculousness has ceased to have any meaning. Don’t even get me started on Laura.

(And seriously, where the hell has Ethan been all this time? Would it be so hard to insert two lines of dialog about him being out of town and unreachable for some reason?)

(Yes. Yes, it would. Because this show is ASS.)

Another reason this show is ass? Because in the midst of what should be a devastating family drama, we’re forced to sit through pages and pages of dialog with various characters (including a cop!) speculating on whether or not Jason will murder Luke.

LUCKY: Look, Sam, I’m serious. I don’t want Jason to hurt my dad.
SAM: Lucky, I’m happy to use whatever influence I have, but I’m warning you. Jason is in a lot of pain over Jake’s death.

(I love Sam’s blasé reaction to Lucky begging for his father’s life — like he’s asking to borrow Jason’s motorcycle or something.)

And seriously, Jason’s in a lot of pain? Jason, who couldn’t be bothered to give up his life of KILLING PEOPLE FOR MONEY to be a father to his child, is now going to get high and mighty and morally indignant over someone else’s vices? And everyone else just accepts this with a shrug, all:

“Hey, what can you do? I’ll ask him not to murder your dad, but you know, no promises. Even though you actually put in the time and the effort to raise this kid and now you’re dealing with the horror of knowing your own father killed your child and you probably need the extra grief of dealing with your father’s death on top of all this like you need a hole in the head. But Jason’s in pain, you know.”

Also, there’s this:

I hate this show.


21 thoughts on “This week on GH, i.e. General Horror…

  1. Oh how about today when we heard THREE TIMES that Jake would have been better off with JASON instead of Lucky raising him and pretty much said JAKE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE if Jason had been in his life. WTF? What show are they even watching? Exhibit A why that statement is bonkers is EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO MICHAEL IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE and Exhibit B – Max, Milo and Spinelli are his crack security team and I’m pretty sure Jake could have gotten the drop on them while he was a newborn in the nursery.

    If I couldn’t have called Luke being the driver from minute one (honestly….he had a huge GUILTY GUILTY arrow pointing at him. OR maybe that was me going “Wait Luke’s not interacted with Jake since the day he was born. Why is all sad panda? Must have been the one who hit him.”) or I didn’t realize early on this entire “storyline” was shameless Emmy baiting for Steve Burton, Jonthan Jackson and Tony Geary then maybe I could get into the whole “Hey we’re finally acknowleding Luke has a major issue with alcohol and has for years” aspect of the plot….but Tony’s vacation schedule hasnt’ changed so what? THey’ll do this for a little bit…Luke will awkwardly go off to rehab for Tony’s vacation…the writers will forget this storyline completely while he’s gone (See what happens to Ethan when Luke is out of town) and then be awkwardly returned to when Tony returns? Oh. Joy.

    If I never see another thing about that stupid book it will be too soon. Isn’t the point of tie in merchandise to attach it to a charcter that’s actually likable????

    • Well said and I completely agree. Many signs pointed right at Luke from the beginning, if nothing else because of TG’s impending vacation. While TPTB might deserve a smidgen of credit for possibly coming up with a different way in which to write Luke out for TG’s next vacation, that doesn’t make up for the rest of this crapfest of a story. There was no reason to do this story in the first place, and to rip off BJ/Maxie, one of the best stories ever penned for GH, in manner such as this is beyond disgraceful. And this whole Luke-killed-Jake element is almost worse in certain ways.

    • Exhibit C: the fact that a deranged serial killer is currently targeting Josslyn for the sole reason that her mother is Jason’s friend. And they’re going to try and tell me with a straight face that Jake wouldn’t have been kidnapped and murdered by Franco long ago if he’d had any idea that kid meant something to Jason?

  2. Oh, jeez, thank you for this. You just said everything I have been thinking and feeling about this story. Almost word for word. No heart. Jason KILLS PEOPLE FOR MONEY. I even think it in all caps. No mention of Bobbie. All of this sucks. It should be great. But it isn’t. Kudos to Tony and JJ and yes, even Julie. The rest? Not so much.

    Jason is too stupid for words and his hypocrisy knows NO bounds whatsoever. He KILLS PEOPLE FOR MONEY. Each man he kills is someone’s son. Think about that you stupid, grieving HITMAN.

    I can’t even talk about the book. Spinelli is useless.

  3. Excellent post and once again I totally agree.

    Given the context of the conversation, it’s one thing for Elizabeth to have said that Jake would have been better off with Jason because she’s grieving and still blaming herself for the accident so that could be written off as Jake would still be alive if he’d been anywhere but home. The only other character who might get a pass on a line like that is Carly because she’s always said that Jason should be a part of Jake’s life. Outside of that, however, any insinuation that Jake would have been better off being raised by Jason is absolutely ridiculous. This just seems to be further evidence that the real point of this story was to open the door for JaSam to have a baby, but did Jake really have to die to accomplish that? How about Jason wants a child with Sam because he realized over the years how much he’s missed in not being a part of Jake’s life, decides to leave the mob once and for all, and wants to be a part of Jake’s life in addition to having a family with Sam? I’m a JaSamer in the camp that doesn’t think those two should have a child together, but if TPTB must go there… I can only hope the JaSam baby story really has been dropped or at least put on hold for a good long while.

  4. I agree on all counts. Also, the juxtaposition of Michael and Abby is uncomfortable. Michael may have not known Jake as his cousin, but I would think the fact that a four year old DIED would have some emotional impact on him. If they played them having sex as a life affirming and consoling act, I would have bought it more. Instead it was just so jarring to have to watch those scenes opposite of everyone else in town melting down. This show sucks so hard.

    • Yeah, I’m kind of over Michael and Abby, to be honest. I FF’d through all of their love scenes. It does seem sort of callous for Michael to brush past Jake’s death like that…

  5. Oh god. This whole thing makes me sick. Based on my knowledge of your rantings and the supreme accuracy with which you deliver them, I’m more certain than ever that “breaking up” with this show is the best thing I could have done. I’m reminded of the daily rage it elicits. Honestly, why can’t they do anything right?

  6. To be honest, Lucky is no longer “safer” than Jason. Jason and Lucky began their way toward being “BFFs” around the time that GH was writing Niz. JJ comes back to the show and GH tries to show the Jason/Lucky relationship before he died in 1999. Lucky has spent the last eight months pretending to be a mob killer named Ronan and I don’t think Liz was ever clued in to what her boys father was really doing on his undercover assignment with Siobhan. We watched the Balkan taunt Siobhan while kidnapping her sister and Lucky was gone more than he was around Cam and Jake. So, bottom line, Jason should have claimed his son at birth and put guards on Liz and Cam. Life is danger, and it doesn’t matter if you get hit by a car or run down at the mall by some teenager’s hung up on sniffing glue.

    As far as the current s/l on GH it is pure rubbish and I hope that Anne Sweeney starts cleaning house beginning with Frons, Guza and Phelps.

    • Car accidents can happen to anyone, guards or not (especially the guards the Corinthos/Morgan family provides — they certainly haven’t been very effective with preventing harm to anyone else yet). Had Jason raised Jake, he could just as easily have been killed on that road the same way, only he would have spent his entire life behind bullet proof glass, under constant threat and guard, and probably exposed to God only knows what manner of unpleasantness from Franco and the like.

      I think Jason should have stayed with Elizabeth and raised Jake, but I think he should have given up the business to do it. Even if I accept the idea that being related to a cop is inherently as dangerous as being related to a hit man (which I am sorry, but I just don’t), there are more kinds of danger than just physical. Michael’s a mess right now because he was shot in the head, yes. But also because he was raised to believe that actions never have consequences, laws are made for other people, and it’s okay to use power, wealth, violence and intimidation to get away with murder (literally!).

  7. This is a fantastic post from someone as soapzone

    Was he safer with you and your buddies when he was shot and put in a coma? Or how about when he tried to protect his mom, killed a woman and landed in jail…to be raped. Was that safer?
    Was Sam safer, Jason? you know, when Manny kidnapped her, when he shot her womb to pieces?

    Were Liz and her babies safer when your psycho ex let Jake be kidnapped? You know, the same ex you got back together with?

    Were they safer when they had to flee to a cabin and Liz had to kill. a. man. to protect Sam, herself and the babies? Was Jake safer then?

    Was Emily safer when you pissed off the Alcazars and killed them so that Diego could go crazy and seek revenge by killing her?

    This is “life”, and people die. People who shouldn’t die. People who don’t have mob connections. It does NOT mean that living in a life chalk full of violence would have been safer for them. Statistically speaking, it would have been a lot more dangerous, and just because Jake didn’t die due to mob violence doesn’t change that. So take your deluded self-validation and sell it to the idiot, kool-aid drinking masses.

    I drink green tea, and I’m not buying your whiny garbage.

  8. I am really hating the way Luke is being played these days – NOT the acting, the writing. He has never said “your son” to/about Lucky and Jake – it is always the child you raised?!? He has never said “I killed my own grandson”, just “a kid” “a 4 year old” ?!? Even if he has never been a grandfather to Jake, I would have expected Lucky’s father to feel a little more of a connection to Jake. And while Michael never knew Jake was his cousin thru Jason until recently – his mother is Lucky’s cousin, Luke & Sonny are old friends.. I would have liked to see him a LITTLE upset over Jake instead of having the best time of his life:)

  9. Just over one year later, Jake’s death and the rather mediocre writing STILL irks me. Between the all too convenient timing of Jake’s accident and Joss’s illness, the story becoming a whodunit it and Ode to Jason’s pain, to it becoming the reason for JaSam to decide to have a baby, it was one big missed opportunity. The line “My son died because of you!” should be heartbreaking, but from Jason, it was just laughable. He kills how many in cold blood ON PURPOSE? Luke hits Jake by. accident. and Jason gets all self-righteous? Then the failed intervention. To me even worse Lulu being all Needy McNeederson. All she could see was her own needs, why was it so hard for to understand why Lucky didn’t want to be around Luke, when she knows he struggles with addiction? I wonder if RC had done this, what it would have been like? Well, we will never know.

      • Which would have been a good thing, because killing Jake was needless. It was a way to make way for a JaSam baby. RC character deaths are handled so much better, the fallout from Robin’s death (yes, I know she’s alive, like you I didn’t think she was dead either) has been sad and heartbreaking but well-written. RC has killed children as we saw, but at least it’s not used as an excuse to prop other characters. By the this story was over, I found myself wanting to roll my eyes at how Jake would have been better off with Jason after all. Yeah, whatever.

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