WHAT THE WHAT? Was I just abducted by aliens? Did someone slip me some drugs? I feel like I must be missing time. Because if I’m not missing time, then that means today’s episode just blithely skipped over Jake’s memorial service.
That would be ridiculous, right? RIGHT?
And if nobody drugged me, then that means I didn’t hallucinate Sonny and Brenda officially becoming the biggest pair of self-absorbed, ungrateful asses on the planet:
(I mean, not that Sonny didn’t have that title pretty much in the bag already, but skipping the memorial for his best friend’s son to play cutesy newlyweds with the wife that same friend spent the last eight months of his life bending over backwards to protect? That was a new low. Even for him.)
But never mind that for the moment. Because let me get this straight: not only were we robbed of any tearful goodbyes at Jake’s bedside, but now we don’t even get to see the kid’s effing memorial service?! What, was it just too expensive to have all the actors in one scene together? Or were they afraid that showing the memorial service would make the blatant absences of half the family of the principal players even more obvious? (HAHAHAHA… just kidding; I know they don’t even remember there are any missing characters.)
Or, more likely, they just assumed that since neither Jason or Sonny (Worst. Best friend. EVER) could be bothered to attend, there just wasn’t anybody there whose grief would be worth watching. I mean, hell, Lucky and Elizabeth (and Jason and Elizabeth, clearly — I’d be surprised if they ever laid eyes on each other again) filled their quota of face to face interactions for a year back in the hospital. Why would we need to see them mourn their child together any further or have a conversation about — oh, I don’t know — the fact that his father killed their son? In fact, why would we even need to see Lucky on the day of his son’s memorial service at all?
I just– I can’t. On what planet do these writing choices make sense? This isn’t even bad soap anymore. Because it’s not a soap at all.