In which we belatedly comment on old news:

Incandescentflower: Oh my! Genie Francis will be on Y&R, Brook Lynn is leaving and Tyler Christopher was let go? Good for Genie Francis, but sad for GH… I’m glad they are getting rid of Brook Lynn since they had no idea what to do with her. But I am surprised about TC even though he can’t act his way out of a paper bag these days.
Tenillypo: Agreed on all counts.
Incandescentflower: Do you think they are recasting Nikolas?
Tenillypo: Haven’t heard anything about that. Which is just typical, because they’re about to do a story where he should be heavily featured, but they probably won’t bother.
Incandescentflower: The Cassadine story they put off because of James Franco?
Tenillypo: HAHAHA… no, that’s never happening. No, I mean Liz finding out Aiden is Lucky’s.
Incandescentflower: Oh, yeah.
Tenillypo: I mean, on a real soap there would be months of drama from Nikolas having already bonded with the kid and still thinking of him as his own. But on this one he’ll probably just leave town, all “Laters!” It’s such a wasted dramatic opportunity.
Incandescentflower: You could pretty much add the statement “it’s such a wasted dramatic opportunity” after describing any GH plot. It’s like saying “in bed” after any Chinese fortune.

Which provides the perfect segue to my next point, namely: Patrick and Robin! So adorable when they’re by themselves!

… And so freaking annoying when they’re repeating the same five lines of dialogue over and over again with Lisa and Johnny (aka, The Character I Once Loved and Now Find More Tiresome Than I Ever Imagined Possible).

Why? Why are the writers doing this to us? When will they let Patrick and Robin have a conversation that doesn’t involve rehashing all the tiresome bullshit we’ve already been subjected to watching over the last year of this awful story? Why do they want us to hate Johnny? Do they even remember that Terrell still exists? And could Lisa and Kristina’s interactions possibly get more random and nonsensical?

(On that note, I have to give a shout out to Dave, whose YouTube Channel full of Xtranormal-style mockery makes us smile a lot:

I especially enjoy his salute to Theo and Suzanne’s secret plan of genius. Oh, Adrienne Barbeau. Flee while you still can!)

Anyway, I am so full of hate for the state of Scrubs right now, y’all. It’s almost to the point where I want to start rooting for greasy-haired, crazy-eyed, unable-to-plot-her-way-out-of-a-paper-bag Lisa because if she either got competent at planning or went sane, it would at least be a refreshing change of pace.

But back to Genie Francis, who — bless her deservedly bitter heart — has been awesomely open about ABC’s disinterest in treating either her or Laura with anything close to the respect they both deserve:

EW: Let’s talk about your appearance on Oprah. You used the mini General Hospital reunion to say “there is nothing in me that is willing to play a victim anymore. I’m sort of done with the wounded dove in my life” when Oprah Winfrey asked whether you’d ever return to the ABC show.

FRANCIS: I guess I didn’t really think about how it would be received. I just felt like it was time to talk from my heart, and tell the people that yes, I’d love to come back to work, but I want to work in a way that uses all of me so I’m not just cheating my audience. I felt for a while with the GH appearances, they were kind of using me as a media trick, bringing me on for three or four weeks, saying I was back on the show, but not really writing for me. And then I would be gone. I just didn’t like that anymore. I guess it was me putting my foot down. I would have loved to come back to [General Hospital], but I needed them to write a real role for who this woman would be now. They didn’t respond. I didn’t hear anything. And that’s a shame. I was willing to put it out there, see what could be done.

[…]

EW: How do you think your fans will respond?

FRANCIS: What I have found is that my fan base will follow me to whatever I’m doing. They gave me a big tune-in for Hallmark. They were just happy to see me working again, and my job is not to disappoint them, not to cheat them. And I feel like the last little appearance on GH cheated them. I welcome the opportunity to do something new to continue to entertain my audience. What I loved about Laura — and what people loved about Laura — is that she is a terrific memory, but it’s just not there anymore. [GH] cannot conceive a Laura who is 48 years old, a grown woman. So that’s that. I’m a little surprised, too, since this year is the 30th anniversary of Luke and Laura’s marriage. (The wedding aired on Nov. 17, 1981.)

EW: What do you think they’ll do?

FRANCIS: They can certainly get the wig out. That wig comes out every now and again. But they can’t do it with me. It certainly seems they didn’t want to.

God, I could not love her any more.

Tyler Christopher on the other hand… well, I wish him well and it sounds like he was blindsided by his firing which is always unpleasant and unfortunate. But, frankly, this quote from him makes me roll my eyes SO HARD:

CHRISTOPHER: Commitment, professionalism and performance doesn’t get you anything.

Like, seriously? Tyler, baby, I KNOW you have it in you to turn in solid performances, but you’ve only been awake on camera maybe once in the last three years, so… yeah.

Don’t even get me started on Adrianna Leon’s hilarious spin on her departing character’s, um–shall we be charitable and say “lack of consistency”?

LEON: When I returned to GH, I knew that they had plans to alter my character and I was all for it. Looking back over this last year, I realize that it was a whole mastermind plan of genius! What we have now is a woman who I don’t know… and neither do you. So, what is the real story? Who is Brook Lynn? Even though we thought we had it figured out, Brook Lynn is a complex character and we really have no idea.

Yes! The plan to take a legacy character with beloved parents and plenty of family connections on the canvas and turn her into an inexplicably self-righteous date rapist (Never. Letting. That. Go.) and professional escort who only ever interacts with one person is certainly… a “mastermind plan of genuis.”

(Because the last thing you want is for your audience to feel like the understand who your character is, right? Characterization is for lesser writers, you guys! Not ones who understand the true genius and complexity of… gold digging, hypocrisy, and embarrassing dance moves? I guess? Because that’s really all I understand Brook to be at this point.)

(Honestly, this snark isn’t even aimed at Leon, who can only play what they give her, and certainly isn’t in a place to openly criticize the show the way Genie Francis is. But, come on now. “Mastermind plan of genius”? Really?)

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3 thoughts on “In which we belatedly comment on old news:

  1. I think Adrianna Leon was just talking like that so she could stay on friendly terms in case they want her to come back in the future (God I hope Not). She was basically sucking up because there was no way bringing back her character and turning her into an unapologetic,smug prostitute and attempted rapist was a mastermind plan of genius unless that mastermind plan is pissing on all things legacy and great about GH.

  2. great post! can we talk about how Sonny & Brenda were allowed oh 1 scene basically (the wedding card signing attempt, so freaking cute/classic VM and MB) and now it’s basically BS again where they have scenes with everyone but each other?!?!

    what the hell is wrong with GH (ha) – their wedding brought ratings up for the first time in 3 years! And yet, they cut their honeymoon, and now they’re in not even using them in scenes together?! really what? And someone please get carly off my screen.

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