I love the endless optimism of the ABC promo department. WILL JASON DIE, YOU GUYS? GOSH, I JUST DON’T KNOW! (I’m sure that you, too, will be unable to sleep tonight over this question, but try to contain your anxiety.)
On a related note: Dear Elizabeth Webber, you have the worst car karma in existence. Allow me to present the evidence:
2002: Injured lung in a car accident with Gia and Courtney
2003: Temporarily blinded after hit and run (Courtney… again)
2004: Car crash while pregnant with Cameron
2005: Miscarriage after swerving to miss Carly, who wandered into the road during a mental breakdown
(I cannot for the life of me find a clip of the actual accident. YouTube powers, why have you forsaken me?!)
2007: Collapsed while pregnant with Jake after skidding off the road in a snowstorm
2008: Suspect in Sam’s hit and run after falling asleep at the wheel on the way to her secret love nest with Jason
Which leads us to this week:
IS IT TOO LATE TO SAVE JASON’S LIFE, YOU GUYS? IS IT?!?! (Oh, Dramatic Announcer Guy. How it must pain you to keep from laughing out loud as you record these voiceovers.)
Anyway, for those keeping track at home, that’s seven car accidents for one woman in nine years, which is kind of amazing. And that’s not even counting Jake getting hit by a car in her driveway, because frankly, that shit is just too depressing to be included. The moral here is clear: never be on the road around Elizabeth Webber, whether she’s driving or not. Bad things will likely happen.
Also never hallucinate around Elizabeth Webber, because otherwise you are likely to see things like this:
Why… is she wearing curtains? I don’t understand Lucky’s fantasy life. Spice it up, Spencer! Your acid trip is both unsexy and BORING ME TO TEARS.
But far be it for me to complain about the whole “girl rescues boy after he’s overdosed by his enemies” trope, for which I am a notorious sucker. Except… am I crazy, or is this whole story moving super fast? Like, why were Siobhan and Ethan — two people who didn’t even know Lucky back when he was using — so absolutely certain that he must have immediately fallen off the wagon after about a day of investigating the drug case? I swear, all their conversations sounded like this to me:
LUCKY: So, I’m investigating these drug thefts at the hospital–
SIOBHAN: I’m not giving you money to go score Oxy.
LUCKY: What? That’s not–
SIOBHAN: WHY ARE YOU SO DEFENSIVE?
LUCKY: I’m not defensive, I’m just asking you to trust me–
ETHAN: Paranoid much, druggy?
A few weeks of escalating secrecy and some actually suspicious behavior would have been nice, is what I’m saying.
Not that Liz’s denial of any problems schtick is terribly realistic either, but Jesus, give it a rest already Naggy McNaggerson twins!