Maybe she’s a Cylon? Not the sexy kind. The toaster kind.

You know, I wanted to like Officer Rookie. I really did! I’m not a curmudgeon by nature. I gave her a pass when she left Shawn alone at a crime scene in his boss’ warehouse, because no cop is allowed to be smart in Port Charles and that’s not her fault. And I tried to be forgiving when she immediately leapt at Dante’s throat with no provocation, because this show’s idea of subtlety is smacking you with the narrative equivalent of a two by four.

But the grace period is over! When even Ronnie (Ronnie!) starts looking competent and reasonable in comparison, you know something’s taken a wrong turn:

PADILLA: There’s a whole lot of people here looking uneasy.
RONNIE: There was a psycho on the boat with them.
PADILLA: So, she’s not here now. What are they so nervous about?

Yeah, it’d been like half an hour since they were terrorized and nearly murdered! What could they possibly have still been upset about?

(Side note: can we talk for a moment about how Lisa is a known psychopath who stalked Robin for months, murdered a nurse, shot up the hospital, killed the captain, threw a passenger overboard, and knocked out out three more… so if any of them did kill her, there is absolutely NO REASON to cover it up instead of just claiming self-defense, and this whole whodunit is even more pointless and stupid than usual?)

(Also, I’m guessing both Patrick and Steve somehow believe* they killed her, but for some reason think lying about it while making smug, super suspicious pronouncements about knowing she’s “gone forever” is a great idea. Why are these guys considered smart enough to operate on people again?)

(*Because she’s clearly that fucking clown that’s going to give me nightmares for the REST OF MY LIFE.  No, really. Thanks for that, writers.)

But seriously, Padilla is terrible. She’s wooden, needlessly combative with everyone, appears to have all the understanding of normal human emotion as a robot, and has shown nothing but complete professional incompetence since her arrival.

Before today, I would have said paranoid suspicion was her only setting. But it appears two more have been programed into her system: inexplicable apathy and whiplash anger.

DANTE: I think it’s safe to say I walked in on something I wasn’t supposed to see.
PADILLA: It would appear that way, yeah.
DANTE: I think it’s pretty certain.
PADILLA: [emotionless] Okay.
DANTE: In your investigation, you’ve come up with nothing so far, right?
PADILLA: [clearly bored] No. Unfortunately, no.
DANTE: Okay I’m just saying I was shot in the lung and the bullet took a piece of my lung with it as a little souvenir. So, I think I deserve to know why I lost that vital body part.
PADILLA: [suddenly enraged] Hey! Your father’s warehouse. Ask him!

Stupid gunshot victims, expecting her to investigate their shootings while they’re in the hospital! Who do they think they are?

Is there anyone that Padilla likes? Because she certainly doesn’t appear to care for her either her fellow officers or any of the citizens she’s supposed to be serving and protecting. And since the rumor is that we’re to expect a triangle with her, Dante, and Lulu, it would be nice if even a shred of charisma, chemistry, or non-robot personality was in evidence.

You know, just a thought.

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6 thoughts on “Maybe she’s a Cylon? Not the sexy kind. The toaster kind.

  1. These writers can’t seem to tell the difference between “strong woman” and “argumentative jerk”.
    Then again, they also can’t tell the difference between “charming bad-boy” and “completely horrible excuse for a human being” (Sonny Corinthos, I am looking at YOU), so perhaps they are not sexist, but merely very bad at characterization.

      • Sadly, that is probably the truth.
        *sigh* I WANT to like this show, you know? I really do. I think they have an incredible cast of actors, and I’ve been watching so long that I can’t help but be sentimental about my favorite characters and couples. But in the here and now, it’s really hard to find something to like.

        • “I think they have an incredible cast of actors”

          I think perhaps herein lies one of the big problems… the cast of ACTORS may be incredible (if you can get past the mumbling and stumbling, the odd acting tics/antics, and gigantic egos – *looking at the 4 peeps billed as leads*, but I digress – its the cast of CHARACTERS that is the show’s biggest downfall. Who is there to root for here? Mobsters? An inept police department? A family whose history begins with a rapist for a father and (currently) ends with said rapist killing a child? A hospital that can apparently lose a coma patient and not even know it? The family that has been desecrated at every turn only to be dragged out, dusted off, and desecrated a bit more each time?

          Like you, the sentimental draw is strong… But the reality? It’s an embarrassment. Like watching Great Aunt Agnes insist on fixing the big family holiday dinner only to find it’s badly prepared, she’s serving it on paper plates because she hocked the family’s heirloom china and silver, she has no clue who half the people in her dining room are, and she’s gonna fart half-baked stuffed turkey farts until everyone finally just LEAVES.

          Pitiful.

  2. WE had a weird thought yesterday. Maybe the clown is not Lisa but the doctor that Steve has been trying to get through to on the phone for the last week. She’s come to check out GH before she “shows up.”

    • Okay, that would be weirdly hilarious. Also: that woman would have to be a sociopath because seriously, that clown is… not right.

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