Previously on the Vampire Diaries: Stefan finally started to entertain us, Mikael woke up, and ghost uncle brought Damon to those ancient caves on the Lockwood family land? Um, what?
We open with Alaric and Elena are down in the Lockwood caves, trying to decipher the paintings on the wall. While Damon stands outside snarking. Heh.
The pictures turn out to be written in Viking runes and mention the names of the original family. And who wrote this? In a flashback we see Rebekah and Klaus carving them. That… doesn’t really make sense in terms of the rest of the episode. Anyhoo, Rebekah and Klaus banter like typical siblings and during their conversation Klaus reveals that he is scared of their father. Gee, I wonder who that could be?
Back to present, Elena’s mind is blown by this turn of events. And guess whose name is also on the wall? Mikael. And yes, Mikael is the father.
Back at the Salvatore mansion, Alaric is looking at photos of the wall while Damon and Elena hotly spar in the background. Elena decides that in order to decipher the meaning of the cave images she is going to ask Rebekah. Ballsy!
Elena confronts Rebekah during cheer practice (hee!) and tries to blackmail her into talking with the threat of waking Mikael.
Another flashback shows Elijah! Fighting with Klaus! They are apparently too light-hearted in their sparing and Mikael goes batshit on him. He is seriously menacing. It is clear that Klaus has daddy issues.
All the while, Alaric continues to stare at the pictures and take notes. *Yawn*
On the phone, Elena talks with Damon about her plan. He sweetly warns her to be careful. So cute. Damon is actually with Stefan, who is still drying out. Stefan doesn’t seem impressed to see him. For some reason, Stefan’s crabbiness makes Damon decide he is done with Lexi’s plan and lets Stefan free. Uh, okay. Not sure where this is going…
Rebekah calls Elena over to the Salvatores’ — presumably to talk — but Rebekah first wants to show Elena that she is still in control. She has compelled a group of teenagers to model homecoming dresses for her and threatens to hurt them if Elena doesn’t show her respect.
Bonnie stops by to bring Alaric Elena’s indestructible necklace. He tells her that the necklace design was on the wall and it means “witch.” Alaric also tries to console Bonnie about Jeremy. Okay, now I totally want them to make out. (I think I just want Alaric to have some sort of romantic entanglement. Someone who is more interesting than Jenna. Get on that, show!)
Meanwhile, Rebekah tells Elena the story of her family. She said their family moved to Mystic Falls to escape a plague. They lived in peace with the local werewolves for 20 years. Unfortunately, Klaus got curious about the werewolves so instead of hiding in the caves on the full moon, he and his younger brother went to look. That brother, Henrig, was killed by the wolves. Nice one, Klaus. Apparently, Mikael agrees and goes nuts on his ass.
During yet another phone call from Damon, (awww, see, they’re besties!) Elena realizes that he has let Stefan out. She’s a bit miffed, but he protests that he knows what he is doing. I can’t help but question this, as he compels a girl to let Stefan drink from her wrist. I really don’t see what the plan is here.
Apparently, instead of scrapbooking, boring Stefan spent his “good” years practicing drinking games on his own. He is kicking Damon’s ass! Heh. Also, even if I don’t get Damon’s plan, he seems to, because he calls Damon out on trying to facilitate brotherly bonding.
Rebekah is going through Stefan’s things because… I have no idea. This is just a needless framework for the flashbacks. So… we go to Mommy and Daddy Original, begging their witch friend to help protect them from the wolves. Ayanna says hell no and gets the eff out of there. Smart lady. And thus, it turns out that Rebekah’s mom, Esther, was actually the original witch. Dun!
Also: thank you, show, for finally showing a white witch. I was really starting to wonder if they were really that thick not to see how uncool that was. There’s some double speak reason why Esther was able to make them all vampires but couldn’t turn herself. Convenient! She does a magic spell, has daddy stab them, and then force feed them blood. Easy, peasy.
Next we see more co-ed craziness with Stefan and Damon. I think the show considers this harmless fun, but I still hate the fact that Damon doesn’t seem to have any problem using people (especially young women) as objects to get what he wants. Ick. Anyway, the show could care less about the victimization of these ladies, so back to the hot man angst! Damon reveals that he is trying to get Stefan to want his freedom back. And guess who else likes partying with co-eds? Mikael! Uh-oh.
Rebekah continues her tale by telling Elena that her mother put the curse on Klaus and turned her back on him. According to Klaus, Mikael found out about her affair and that Klaus wasn’t his son, went crazy, and killed their mother.
Okay, so then Mikael going crazy makes the rest of their family scatter? Including Mikael? Again, not so much with the clarity here. It sounds like there are many more original family members, but I’m sure the show is holding out information on them for future story lines. Anyway, left alone, Klaus and Rebekah bury their mother. Elijah joins them and they make an “all for one” kind of pact. (So when the hell did Elijah turn on Klaus? After he staked Rebekah? Or before? I hope we get more of these flashbacks.)
Rebekah says that she didn’t leave Klaus because it is better than being alone. Well, that sounds like a good reason! Since the story is over, Rebekah suddenly decides she’s done spilling her guts and threatens Elena if she tries to hurt Klaus.
Meanwhile, Mikael is trying to get answers out of Stefan, but it isn’t working. Stefan tells him he is being compelled so he can’t tell him anything. So, Mikael decides to take a different route — right through Damon’s chest. He makes it clear that if Stefan doesn’t help him find Klaus, he will pull out Damon’s heart.
This somehow motivates Stefan to volunteer to lure Klaus to Mikael. Oh-kay. Seriously, this vampire emotion thing is driving me crazy. Even though Stefan turned his emotions off, some can still seep through? I… just don’t get this. I need to stop trying. It harshes my mellow.
Anyway, this Mikael situation has now become kill or be killed. (Is it bad that at this point all I can think about it is whether Katherine is still alive or not? I know they’re saving it, but it is still seriously killing me! Damned show!)
Bonnie and Alaric are playing decode the ancient wall pictures and… zzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, sorry. Where was I? I really think they should have gotten more of a plot this episode. They are obviously just here to move the flashback story along. Why waste the hotness?
Elena comes in and somehow figures out from the drawings that it wasn’t Mikael who killed Rebekah’s mother, but Klaus himself. Okay, who drew these pictures? If Klaus and Rebekah started them, who put down that the hybrid killed the witch? Rebekah didn’t know and Klaus has no reason to record the truth. Again, I need to stop with the logic.
When Elena tells Rebekah the truth, she has a mental breakdown over the realization that Klaus betrayed her. It’s actually kind of sad.
Damon and Stefan’s boys’ night out ends with what they do best: bickering, fist fighting and sharing an inappropriate amount of sexual tension. You know, the usual.
Elena comes home to Damon in her bed. Hawt! He explains that Stefan is going to help them now, and… blah, blah, blah they need to stop talking about Stefan. Elena tells Damon that she won’t be the one to save him; if Stefan is saved, it will be because he loves Damon. Awwww.
As they fall asleep together they share a quiet moment and the bond and intimacy between them is palpable. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. *sigh*
Will Mikael go all psycho on their asses? Will Stefan continue to be able to hold my attention for more than a minute at a time? Honestly, I could give a crap as long as we continue to get Damon/Elena scenes like that!