I rarely find myself on Team Carly — especially when doing so means also being on Team Shut The Hell Up, Alexis — but, well… when she’s right, she’s right:
CARLY: You know what, you can dress this up all you want, and you can try and blame this all on me. Sonny is the one who chased Jax all around town with a gun, fired off the gun in Robin’s living room, and then sabotaged the plane Jax was on!
ALEXIS: Because you drove him to it!
CARLY: No, I didn’t, Alexis. Brenda did. Do you remember her? Yeah. And then she took off with Jax. She pissed Sonny off, she hurt his pride so bad that Sonny decided to kill Jax. [to Sonny] Do you not remember that? Are you not going to admit to that? Because your fan club is standing here waiting to hear all about it. See, they don’t see you for who you really are, because then they might have to admit that they have the hots for some guy — some criminal — who doesn’t give a damn about anybody other than himself.
It is AMAZING to me that we have suddenly gotten to the point where Alexis “You bring death wherever you go” Davis is having to be reminded by Carly (Carly!) — of all people — who and what Sonny really is. She showed more anger tonight than she did when she thought Jax was dead because Sonny had killed him! I just… what? Why?
Of course, this is Port Charles, where lies of omission are somehow worse than murder, and where it would apparently have been better for Carly to tell her kids that Jax was alive even though she wasn’t then (and still isn’t now) really sure that’s even the truth:
SONNY: See what you did, Carly? He could have died tonight.
CARLY: I’m not going to fight with you here, okay? I’m not going to do it!
SONNY: Why can’t you admit what you did? Say you were wrong for lying!
CARLY: Okay, as soon as you admit that you tried to kill Jax. And as soon as you swear on our kid’s life that you’ll never do it again!
SONNY: You think Michael’s ever going to forgive you? He’s not. Because he’s done with you. And so am I.
Oh, obviously. I mean, this is the same kid who took approximately 1.5 seconds to forgive Sonny for getting him shot in the head, but held a grudge against his mother for the better part of a year for daring to get pregnant while he was in the resulting coma. (Can you believe the nerve of that bitch?) And this is the same kid who never even bothered to forgive his father for trying to kill Jax in the first place… but only because he didn’t think Sonny had done anything that needed to be forgiven.
So of course Michael will probably carry this grudge until the day he dies. Because he is an AWFUL human being.
By the way, I would quote some of Kate’s contributions to this debacle as well, but I’m afraid that if I listened to it enough times to transcribe the unbelievable bullshit spewing out of her mouth, my brain would explode from indignation. Just assume it was also the worst.
The only amusing thing about this entire train wreck was watching the random extras milling around in the background of the MetroCourt. Who were they supposed to be? Do you think they were confused, or is this old hat by now to Port Charles’ nameless other half?
(“Well, honey, that weird casino is closed again, and that Italian restaurant was shot up again, so it looks like there’s only one place open for New Year’s.”
“But every time we go to a party at that hotel, someone’s taken hostage or there’s a screaming catfight in the lobby!”
“I know, just eat fast and maybe in the inevitable confusion, we’ll be able to sneak out on our bill.”)
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Port Charles, Liz and Doctor Abs spent some quality time literally staring at the ceiling, Anthony “hilariously” tried to force himself on Tracy some more, Ethan and his mute girlfriend passed each other coffee cup notes, and absolutely no one who has ever watched a second of this show before was on the edge of their seats to find out if Jason and Michael would survive.
Honestly, you guys? At this rate, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold out long enough for the OLTL cavalry to get here.