Carly explains it all!

I rarely find myself on Team Carly — especially when doing so means also being on Team Shut The Hell Up, Alexis — but, well… when she’s right, she’s right:

CARLY: You know what, you can dress this up all you want, and you can try and blame this all on me. Sonny is the one who chased Jax all around town with a gun, fired off the gun in Robin’s living room, and then sabotaged the plane Jax was on!
ALEXIS: Because you drove him to it!
CARLY: No, I didn’t, Alexis. Brenda did. Do you remember her? Yeah. And then she took off with Jax. She pissed Sonny off, she hurt his pride so bad that Sonny decided to kill Jax. [to Sonny] Do you not remember that? Are you not going to admit to that? Because your fan club is standing here waiting to hear all about it. See, they don’t see you for who you really are, because then they might have to admit that they have the hots for some guy — some criminal — who doesn’t give a damn about anybody other than himself.

It is AMAZING to me that we have suddenly gotten to the point where Alexis “You bring death wherever you go” Davis is having to be reminded by Carly (Carly!) — of all people — who and what Sonny really is. She showed more anger tonight than she did when she thought Jax was dead because Sonny had killed him! I just… what? Why?

Of course, this is Port Charles, where lies of omission are somehow worse than murder, and where it would apparently have been better for Carly to tell her kids that Jax was alive even though she wasn’t then (and still isn’t now) really sure that’s even the truth:

SONNY: See what you did, Carly? He could have died tonight.
CARLY: I’m not going to fight with you here, okay? I’m not going to do it!
SONNY: Why can’t you admit what you did? Say you were wrong for lying!
CARLY: Okay, as soon as you admit that you tried to kill Jax. And as soon as you swear on our kid’s life that you’ll never do it again!
[..]
SONNY: You think Michael’s ever going to forgive you? He’s not. Because he’s done with you. And so am I.

Oh, obviously. I mean,  this is the same kid who took approximately 1.5 seconds to forgive Sonny for getting him shot in the head, but held a grudge against his mother for the better part of a year for daring to get pregnant while he was in the resulting coma. (Can you believe the nerve of that bitch?) And this is the same kid who never even bothered to forgive his father for trying to kill Jax in the first place… but only because he didn’t think Sonny had done anything that needed to be forgiven.

So of course Michael will probably carry this grudge until the day he dies. Because he is an AWFUL human being.

By the way, I would quote some of Kate’s contributions to this debacle as well, but I’m afraid that if I listened to it enough times to transcribe the unbelievable bullshit spewing out of her mouth, my brain would explode from indignation. Just assume it was also the worst.

The only amusing thing about this entire train wreck was watching the random extras milling around in the background of the MetroCourt. Who were they supposed to be? Do you think they were confused, or is this old hat by now to Port Charles’ nameless other half?

(“Well, honey, that weird casino is closed again, and that Italian restaurant was shot up again, so it looks like there’s only one place open for New Year’s.”

“But every time we go to a party at that hotel, someone’s taken hostage or there’s a screaming catfight in the lobby!”

“I know, just eat fast and maybe in the inevitable confusion, we’ll be able to sneak out on our bill.”)

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Port Charles, Liz and Doctor Abs spent some quality time literally staring at the ceiling, Anthony “hilariously” tried to force himself on Tracy some more, Ethan and his mute girlfriend passed each other coffee cup notes, and absolutely no one who has ever watched a second of this show before was on the edge of their seats to find out if Jason and Michael would survive.

Honestly, you guys? At this rate, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold out long enough for the OLTL cavalry to get here.

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10 thoughts on “Carly explains it all!

  1. I hate Michael’s guts. That kid didn’t even bat an eye when he heard Jax was dead and even defended sonny when even he thought he killed him. Now he acts like he’s been robbed of a stepfather and it’s his mother’s fault. Actually the way he eventually winds up always blaming his mother and Jason, you’d think he actually resents them for stealing him from AJ. Why is it always their fault and never Sonny’s?

    • They’re so all over the map with Michael, which is what especially drives me nuts. For a while there, he was literally the only person on the entire show with an ounce of maturity… and then suddenly he devolved back into this absolute hosebeast and just the sight of his face now makes me want to brain him. (Um, sorry, Chad Duell? I’m sure you’re lovely?)

  2. So we have angry Jason/angry Michael? Well I have never liked Michel much but I could have sworn that Michael said Jax deserved what Sonny was doing to him & now this turn-around beatdown at a NYE party?

    The cliffhanger Friday was the motorcycle accident & when it resumes Michael/Jason just get up & dust off?

  3. OMG! You were so on point. I am def not a Carly fan, (Love Laura Wright tho) but she actually spoke the gospel truth about The Sperminator and keeping Jax’s status quiet.. The little runt is still trying to find Jax so he could wack him. And poor wittle Mikey back stabs his mother in front of PC, while he forgives his little Napoleon of a father ANYTHING. Even almost killing his sister. But his mom for keeping a secret naaaaaah. Now he even hates Jason, the man who went to prison to save his a**? (well almost) What a little @*$^(@^*@&$(!

  4. I can’t be Team Carly, no matter how right most of what she said may have been, because she is STILL blaming BRENDA for everything, as evidenced by the speech you quoted. No, Carly, Brenda did not drive Sonny to try to kill Jax, Sonny drove himself to that by being off his meds and being a criminal with poor anger management skills. So as usual Carly earns a big shut up from me still, especially since she was all cool with Sonny drugging and framing Jax so she could get what she wanted. Just because she draws the line just short of murder doesn’t suddenly make her Jax’s protector to me.

    All that said, the idea that she deserves to be crucified by the town because she wanted to keep Jax alive is ridiculous. Basically, all of Port Charles sucks.

    • Hah! Well, yeah. I mean, Carly being Carly, I’m sure she does blame Brenda. But I kind of took the quote above at face value? For the sake of my sanity. I mean, Brenda definitely isn’t to blame for Sonny’s actions, but her leaving *was* the catalyst that set him off. And at least I didn’t get the sense that whoever she blames, Carly was at all letting Sonny off the hook. You know, for once.

      Basically, all of Port Charles sucks.

      Truer words…

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