Previously on Vampire Diaries: VIKINGS! Also: cave paintings, back story, and Sebastian Roche, oh my!
Oh, man. You guys, it has been two, sad, sorry Damon-less months, but our long suffering is nearly over. Yes, new episode tomorrow! Which means it’s time to refresh our memories about the convoluted crap that went down when last we left the good and sexy folk of Mystic Falls:
We open on Team Kill Klaus — now expanded to include Stefan, Mikael, and Rebekah — in the midst of a cunning plan to lure everyone’s favorite psycho hybrid back to town so they can dispose of him once and for all.
This involves Elena “daggering” (not a verb, Elena! No matter how much you try to make it one!) Mikael in front of Stefan so that even under compulsion, he can later call Klaus and honestly swear that his father is down for the count. With the word of lil’ sis backing him up, Klaus is on his way back to Mystic faster than you can say “daddy issues.”
Mikael claims to have a secret weapon capable of killing Klaus for good, and all of this drama is set to go down at the Homecoming dance, natch, because where else? Evil!Stefan is on a roll, by the way, complaining bitchily about needing new ties because he’s 162 years old and going to a freaking homecoming dance. Heh.
He also handily foreshadows that their epic plans always fail due to someone‘s humanity messing up the works, and prophecises that at least this time it won’t be his fault. I GUESS WE’LL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT, STEFAN.
The above conversation takes place, by the way, while Elena and Damon are engaged in an adorable assembly line constructing Wolfsbane grenades. They’re so domestic in their supernatural terrorism!
Meanwhile, Bonnie is still a wee bit ticked off at Jeremy for his ghost infidelity, although she’s trying her best to keep Elena from getting caught in the middle. She’s also very enthusiastic about hanging out with Alaric as a distraction, which, you know… I AM ALL FOR. Okay, I’ll just come out and admit it: I don’t care that she’s his student; those two need to get it on, post haste. (Unfortunately, Alaric is Sir Not Appearing In This Episode, so we get none of that here. But hope springs eternal!)
Caroline is busy decorating for the dance (of course) and has roped Tyler into helping. But he’s ready to ditch out and go feed on some willing donors that Rebekah (aka, the “evil blood slut,” according to Caroline) found for him. He also reveals that Miss R will be attending the dance on the arm of none other than Cute!Matt — prompting both me and Caroline to make the same face:
Tyler thinks that vervain will protect Cute!Matt, but I don’t know how that will save him from a broken neck if Rebekah gets in a snit. Honestly, Tyler!
Back at chez Salvatore, the evil blood slut herself has been busy having emotional confrontations with daddy dearest and trying on her homecoming finery. Elena is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) to learn that this will be Rebekah’s first high school dance. Um, Elena? SHE WAS AN EFFING VIKING. They didn’t have homecoming, darling. They had cave paintings. What is Alaric teaching these kids?
Anyway! The girls share a bonding moment as Rebekah confesses her sadness over what has to go down with Klaus and warns Elena not to trust Mikael or anyone else in her family. In return, Elena sweetly offers her back her witch necklace and it’s all very heartwarming… until she totally stabs Rebekah in the back with the dagger. Psych!
Naturally, Elena being Elena, she feels super guilty about it afterward, confessing to Damon that although she was afraid of Rebekah’s humanity getting to her at the last minute, she really suspected that it wasn’t Rebekah but Elena herself who was the weak link Stefan warned them about. Damon has a secret plan of his own brewing, though, and to make it work, he needs Elena to be far away from the action. He asks if Elena trusts him and she doesn’t hesitate for a moment to say “yes.” D’awwwww!
Poor Cute!Matt shows up for his date only to find a sheepish Elena waiting to take him instead. But it turns out the gym at the school is conveniently flooded, so everyone just moves the whole party over to Tyler’s house. Sure! Why not? Caroline is hilariously indignant that it’s so much better than the one she had planned. Heh.
Also, there are a lot of strangers there. Suspicious! Yup, turns out Klaus is the one pulling the strings: this is his wake for Mikael. And not only has he noticed Rebekah’s absence (amusingly, because the homecoming queen is still alive), but he orders Stefan to bring Mikael’s body to the party, which — as he happily shows Tyler — is full of hybrids who are loyal to him. Oops! If Team Kill Klaus tries anything, he warns both Elena and Tyler, they’re going to go down.
Poor Caroline has been left completely out of the loop by both Team Kill Klaus and Team Klaus Is My Lord And Master. The latter of whom decides to get his girlfriend out of harm’s way by… knocking her out with an injection of vervain. Um, sweet? (Actually, I totally thought it was. Is that wrong?) Tyler tells Matt to get her out of there and warn the others.
Meanwhile, Stefan breaks the news about the change in plans to Mikael and Damon. But it turns out they have plans of their own — plans which don’t actually include baby brother. Mikael takes him out by drinking from him quite ferociously, and even Damon looks disturbed.
Back at the Lockwoods’, only Damon has been invited in and can get past the threshold, so he has the magic original-killing stake. He also tussles with Tyler, leading to them both getting hit with Bonnie’s witch whammy — all a part of the plan, apparently, so that Tyler would stay out of the fight.
But Tyler’s not the only hybrid on deck! The rest are surrounding Mikael, who’s trapped at the front door. OR IS HE? Yeah, not so much. Turns out hybrids can still be compelled by other originals. Oops! And he’s already compelled Klaus’ right hand hybrid into bringing him Elena from inside the party — Klaus’ walking blood bank. Double oops!
Mikael threatens to kill her if Klaus won’t come out, and goads him with the fact that nobody loves him who isn’t compelled. Klaus calls his bluff, and Mikael… totally stabs the fuck out of her.
But no! It’s really Katherine, of course. (Sidebar: it was an excellent psych out, and one I totally fell for, the way I always do when they switch Elena and Katherine. But how did neither Mikael nor Klaus not realize that this a vampire and not a human? Klaus talked to her earlier and Mikael flat out grabbed her — he couldn’t sense the lack of pulse or body heat? I know, I know… Damon kissed her back in season one and didn’t catch on. Well, it bothered me then, too, damnit!)
ANYWAY. Because it’s really Katherine, she bounces right back up. But in the moment of distraction where Klaus thinks she’s dead, Damon sneaks in from behind and stakes him. Clever! Katherine whips out the Wolfsbane grenades to hold off the hybrid horde from helping their master. For some reason, the stake seems to be working on a delay, but it is working. And yet before it can kill Klaus completely… Stefan swoops in and saves him. DUN!
This allows Klaus the chance to grab the stake and take out Mikael — who immediately catches fire, so I don’t know why it took so long for Klaus. Maybe Damon didn’t have the strength to stick it in hard enough? (The twelve year old in me just snickered uncontrollably. Sorry.)
RIP, Sebastian Roche. You were pretty bad ass while you lasted. As a reward for his loyalty, Klaus frees Stefan from his compulsion, and Damon makes a break for it while they’re distracted.
Meanwhile, Tyler checks in with Caroline, who’s just waking up and not happy. She doesn’t know how to be with him when half his heart belongs to Klaus. But Tyler finally explains that he’s okay with being under his sire’s thumb because it’s freed him from being under the moon’s power; he never has to change again unless he wants to. He asks her to stand by him and it’s really very sad, because he’s totally got his heart in his hands and she just… can’t. I don’t really blame her, but damn. I want these two to work it out. FEELINGS!
Chez Salvatore: Elena and Damon pow wow about the colossal failure that just went down. They accounted for all the contingencies — even the hybrids and Mikael turning on them! But not this. Damon is taking it hard, so Elena gives him a pep talk to calm him down, telling him to trust her — in a nice echo of their earlier scene — and promising they’ll get through this.
It’s all very intense with the eye contact and the face touching and whatnot. Damon tells her they’re never getting Stefan back now, and instead of her usual denials, she says they’ll have to let him go. Unexpected!
Damon’s reaction, to his credit, is more heartbreak than triumph. (And hot. Don’t forget hot.)
But wait! We’re not done yet!
For the last twist of the evening, Katherine calls on her way out of town. She and Damon have a cordial good bye… and then the camera pulls back to show Stefan in the passenger seat. DOUBLE DUN! It seems that earlier when Klaus confronted “Elena” at the party, he passed along a more specific warning: if anything happened to him, his hybrids were under orders to kill Damon.
So Katherine revived Stefan where he’d been left after Mikael drained him and put the choice in his hands: let things go through as planned but lose Damon forever, or stop him to save him but lose the chance to kill Klaus. Stefan (and I) don’t understand why she’d be willing to give up her shot at being free of Klaus just to save Damon, but Katherine claims that she did it because she does love Damon and also prefers Stefan with his humanity.
Which… okay, girlfriend: meet me at camera three. Listen, you know I love you, Katherine. But really? Because humanity!Stefan is a wet blanket pain in the ass. No one could possibly like him better! Evil!Stefan is snarky and has multiple facial expressions and doesn’t actually bother to pretend he enjoys anything about high school! Come on, now.
In any case, as foreshadowed, it was Stefan‘s humanity which ruined the plan. Oh, irony! He claims he doesn’t want to “let it in” after everything he’s done, but Katherine wants him to get mad and get even. How?
Oh, by kidnapping all the coffins containing the rest of Klaus’ family. Delightful! For me, I mean. Not so much for Klaus:
This is why you should never enslave your only friends, try to kill their girlfriends, threaten their brothers, and force them to go on months long killing sprees, folks. They just get all pissy about it later on.
(Also? Now that is how you do a chess game, Stephenie Meyer. Was it good for you guys too?)