I’ve been trying to compose a post about Robin’s funeral for days now, but it’s hard to type while CRYING HYSTERICALLY. And hard to be coherent when all I really want to do is point at pictures of Jason Thompson and flail.
I mean, look at this:
So anyway, I’m just going to use this post to document all the moments that broke me the most. You know… for posterity. And further crying.
OFFICIAL TOP TEN HEART-BREAKIEST PARTS OF ROBIN’S FUNERAL
1) These faces! Look at these faces!
2) Emma, not wanting to say goodbye to mommy:
I don’t know what they had to do to that little actress to get her to stop smiling for once in these scenes. (I assume Frank Valentini tortured a puppy in front of her or something?) But good GOD. She and her sad little eyes are killing me:
p.s. I’m pretty sure they’re killing Liz too.
3) Anna, part one:
ANNA: Do you believe in God?
LUKE: No. I’m not big on mythology. But I do believe that love has resonance, that it gives our lives meaning.
ANNA: Well, Robin gave my life meaning, you see. Every day. She was the reason for everything.
She and Luke are fast forming a (platonic! very platonic!) friendship that I really like. I mean, he still sucks a lot, but when was the last time the words “Luke” and “I really like” were used that close together on this blog without “his fiery death” following soon after? It’s practically a miracle!
(Also — wait, what? Luke… believes that loves gives life meaning? Who is this man, and what has he done with this guy?)
TRACY: You know, Daddy. I know you feel bad sometimes that you’re still here when so many others have passed. You know that I–I’m glad you’re still here. I need you. You can’t leave me.
EDWARD: I’m too ornery to die.
TRACY: That’s what I love most about you.
The most heartbreaking part of this scene was the knowledge that John Ingle recently lost his own wife, but hearing Edward talk about Lila while looking at all the pictures of dead Qs (so many!) will never not kill me. And I’m glad the show hasn’t forgotten his special bond with Robin. Also: Jane Elliot — awesome or awesomest? (Don’t answer — that’s a trick question.)
MAC: Maxie, if you don’t go to the funeral, you’ll always regret it.
MAXIE: You know what, Dad? I barely even remember Georgie’s funeral. It was just one, big, painful blur. I wasn’t consoled. No one made me feel better. And I definitely didn’t get closure. I don’t know. I guess it’s the way I’m wired.
I know Jen Lilley’s been taking scenery chewing to the next level the last couple days, but before she completely lost her mind in the church, I thought some of her best work was when she was refusing to attend but not explaining why. Saying she doesn’t even deserve to be hugged? Oh, my heart. And Spinelli’s sincere concern and frustration has done wonders for not making me hate him.
6) Anna, part two:
MAC: Maxie refused to come to the funeral.
ANNA: Oh. Maybe Robert and her are onto something. Perhaps we should all just run away!
MAC: Hey, hey. We need to do this.
ANNA: I don’t know if I can. I feel like I’m going to start screaming and I’m not going to be able to stop.
MAC: You can. You can do this. Okay? For Robin.
ANNA: Thank you.
MAC: For what?
ANNA: Everything. Raising her. Being her father when Robert and I weren’t here — ever. For being her constant. Thank you.
MAC: You know what? I should be the one thanking you. For the incredible gift you gave me. For every single day — for every single day that I had with Robin.
Oh, Anna. Oh, Mac. Oh, SOB MY FREAKING HEART OUT.
7) Brotherly love:
Matt’s been on this show since 2008, but it still feels like his connection to Patrick has been barely explored. I love that we’ve gotten to see him supporting his brother this past week. (Also? The beard is growing on me. Slowly.)
8) Mac. Just… Mac:
MAC: I miss your mommy, Emma. I know you miss her too. I’m gonna tell you something that I always used to say to Robin. We’re family. We’re Scorpios. And there’s nothing we can’t get through together.
Yeah… is any explanation even needed?
I swear, every time I would start to get myself back under control, someone behind the camera would sense it (you know… from the past, where they were filming) and pan to the left to show a glimpse of that damn slideshow. And I’d be set right off again.
And the flashbacks! Oh, wee Kimberly McCullough! Oh, Mac with an afro! Oh, Sonny back before your name was a four letter word! I love you all!
10) Emma again, actually saying good bye to mommy:
Again, Jason Thompson: you are the flail-iest! Also, his whole confession/confrontation with Anna over the affair was just gut-wrenching. Maybe more so because I totally wasn’t expecting that to come up and now my heart is just breaking for them both, because it’s literally the worst timing ever. (And therefore the soapiest.)
You may have noticed that Jason’s angst didn’t make the list. That is because his angst makes me want to punch him. Repeatedly. But never fear! He is making a very special appearance on the (much shorter) list of Things That Amused Me in the last week:
Oh, always industrious props department! Thank you for answering the burning question: what do hit men recovering from brain surgery (without any actual scars of bandages, natch) read in their downtime?
Then, in the grand tradition of completely random and gratuitously naked locker room conversations, we got this:
What? What was that even–??? Readers, I DIED laughing. So random! So wonderful! So very, very pasty!