Oh my gosh, you guys. I am so far behind on this show, it isn’t even funny. (Damn you, professional life, for getting in the way of my soap responsibilities!) (Also, turns out? It is much harder to get caught up when I’m not actually fast forwarding through 75% of the show. Go figure!)
I am, in fact, so far behind on both my watching and my blogging that when I started this post two weeks ago, this was still a timely discussion:
ANNA: What good is all that experience, all that skill, if you can’t even save your own daughter?
ELIZABETH: Anna, it was a random accident.
ANNA: I’m really trying to accept that, but it would be so much easier for me if Robin was just locked in a room somewhere and I could break down the door and rescue her.
OH, SWEET IRONY!
So, sorry. I know we’ve all moved on now, but can we talk about how ROBIN IS ALIVE some more? Because I still love that we found out now rather than later. In fact, confession time: I love pretty much all “back from the dead” stories. I love them because they’re such clichés. Part of the joy of soaps — for me — is their inherent predictability. There’s a such a sense of satisfaction when something that you thought was going to happen, and you wanted to happen… actually happens, you know? The surprise is in the details of when and how it plays out. I am happy to accept any amount of ridiculousness so long as it is 1) entertainingly ridiculous, 2) internally consistent, and 3) supported emotionally by the characters.
And these kind of faked deaths — where the actor is really leaving — are actually my favorite. Both because it’s a handy, non-character assassinating way to get someone off the canvas, and because you get to vicariously experience all the ecstasies and agonies of prolonged grief along with the characters, but with the comfort and anticipation of knowing it will end at some point. I mean, just look at the amazing emotional performances we’ve already gotten out of this. Case in point, everything Finola Hughes does, ever. And Jason Thompson’s continuing quest to break up all with his awesomeness:
PATRICK: If I wake up every morning and think about what I lost? I can’t go on. Instead, I look at what I have. I got a daughter that loves me and gets me through the day. I got a brother that supports me. I got a dad that shows up when he needs to be there. I’m not doing this alone, Maxie, and neither do you. I’m not going to blame you. Robin wouldn’t want that, and that’s how I’m going to honor her.
I love that Patrick and Matt’s relationship is suddenly being played for more than eight million, bickery rounds of “who’s the better surgeon?” And I love that Patrick came down to the courthouse to try to save Maxie from herself, for Robin’s sake.
Speaking of Maxie… it’s definitely nice to see her owning up to what an asshole she’s been lately, although if the histrionics last much longer, the novelty may wear off. And Lord knows, I’ve been wanting her to stop being such sociopath about the whole accessory to murder thing. But, well…
ANTHONY: Tell me again why you give a crap about these people? I mean, Lisa Niles? Card-carrying wackjob. Terrorized most of your friends and family. And First Mate Briggs — complete stranger to you.
MAXIE: Well, Robin wasn’t a stranger!
Psst, Maxie… the correct, non-morally reprehensible answer to that question is IT’S NOT OKAY TO KILL PEOPLE. EVEN IF YOU DON’T KNOW THEM. Oh, well. Um, baby steps? I mean, I’m sure she’ll get there eventually. Right? Right?
As for the rest of the show, I really don’t have anything to add to my co-blogger’s assessment of the abomination that is Johnny and Olivia lately. And if I start ranting about effing Franco being an effing Quartermaine, the rest of this post will pretty much consist of swearing and repeated wails of “WHYYYYYY???” So let’s just pretend we already went through all that and move on, shall we? (But seriously… WHYYYYYYY???)
Meanwhile, on the Kate/Connie front… BWAHAHAHAHA. Everything about this is so, so very beautiful to me:
The rest of the Konnie saga is less beautiful, more… horrible? Embarrassing? Strangely funny? Kelly Sullivan’s commitment to mugging is almost admirable — especially in the face of how stupid Kate has become (remember when Megan Ward played Kate and Kate wasn’t a moron? And had awesome hair? Good times):
KATE: So I’m just gonna lie in a bed while Sonny could get hurt?
EWEN: Just warn him!
KATE: Warn him? What am I supposed to say, that there’s another personality of mine that hates him, that’s plotting with his enemies?
ME: Yes! That is exactly what you should say! It would be remarkably succinct and helpful!
You see, Kate is too worried about Connie’s dastardly plan to hurt Sonny to waste any time on silly details like “treatment for her mental illness” or “telling her significant other about the alternate personality that wants him dead.” That would be stupid!
And Sonny, of course, also has too much on his mind to notice that his girlfriend is — to put it in technical terms — batshit insane. Namely, he has committed himself to a very ambitious schedule of wandering around town, practicing his SHOCKED AND APPALLED face at the very idea that everyone he knows might not think it’s completely implausible for him to have hurt innocent people while in the throws of an impulsive rage bender:
SONNY: But there’s a possibility that [Sam] thinks that I could be responsible for causing that accident that killed and father and his little girl and not own up to it?
Oh, gee, Sonny. Why would anyone possibly think that you might do something horrible like… nearly kill your daughter in a car bomb and lie about it after, or blow up a plane carrying your sons’ step-father, or shoot off a gun in the home of one of your oldest friends? Clearly, that would be INCONCEIVABLE.
But hey, you know what? At least this story is already bearing some fruit in the form of Michael, 1) not sucking, 2) not hero-worshipping Sonny, 3) not whining about poor, dead, CRANED Abby, and 4) wandering around gratuitously shirtless:
So, there’s that.
This story has also given us Anna as John’s old FBI mentor, which LET ME COUNT THE WAYS IN WHICH I LOVE THIS. Hey, remember when Anna would come by for visits under Guza and the only thing he could think of to do with her was have her freak out about being old and then follow Rick Springfield around like an embarrassing groupie? Yeah. Now, she’s actually smart and getting to use those smarts in a professional capacity. What will they think of next?