Gross, grosser, grossest: how’s a girl to choose?

Well, on the plus side, the Konnie plot does seem to be moving along. On the minus… in the best case scenario, Johnny’s now full on taken pretty unforgiveable advantage of a mentally ill woman, and in the worst case scenario, he’s now a rapist.

And yeah, it’s possible that Johnny and Kate were just in bed together but nothing really happened. (Because rape fake outs! Definitely not a thing we’ve had enough of lately!) And yeah, I guess it’s nice that she basically forced him into it. But the fact that he wouldn’t be in this situation at all if he’d done the right thing and told someone what was going on with her to begin with makes it very hard to feel bad for him. Not to mention…

JOHNNY: I’m not gonna do it.
KONNIE: Why the hell not?
JOHNNY: Because, as badly as I want to hurt Sonny, I don’t want to hurt Carly.

Oh! So close! ‘A’ for effort, Johnny. But the correct answer is I ONLY HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE CAPABLE OF GIVING CONSENT. You guys, I know this subject has been something of a blind spot for the new regime in past. But I want to believe that someone writing this show realizes what a gross violation it is to have a man sleeping with a woman he knows is mentally unstable and who in her right mind would be utterly horrified to be touched by him in any way. I want to believe that so badly. I’m the Fox Mulder of soap operas! (Waiting to be pleasantly surprised, Carlivati. Don’t let me down, please.)

Luckily for Johnny, Sonny showed up today to give him a little competition for the title of least appealing man on the show:

SONNY: I saw downstairs, Johnny. I saw all the stuff on the floor. She fought you hard. Does that make you feel like a man? To take whatever you want? Well, I’m tell you right now, Johnny. This is the last time you take anything from me, I promise you that.

Right. Because when you’re looking at the woman you love, who you believe has just been drugged and raped — by a man she’s still sitting next to, naked, in bed, by the way — the correct response is to angrily grandstand that a “thing” has been “stolen” from you.

But, wait! There’s more:

SONNY: Shut up! I don’t give a damn about you anymore. You’re a faithless whore to me. […] The only question I’m asking right now, is who do I shoot first.

Ladies and gentlemen, your romantic lead, last fifteen years running! I think we were supposed to be horrified by that little display? Which would be a nice change from all the other times he’s thrown a FAITHLESS WHORE tantrum and we’ve been expected to cheer him on. But mostly, I’m just grossed out by everything.

And speaking of romantic leads, Jason spent most of the night: 1) being rude to his mother-in-law, although he knows she has no way of knowing she was pushing at a sore subject, 2) interrogating his stressed, pregnant wife — who just found out she’s carrying her rapist’s baby — because she had accidental run-in with another man, 3) running around town to interrogate other people about her activities. Because why talk to your wife when you can abandon, avoid, or otherwise make what she’s going through all about you?

So, okay. Maybe he’s still the least gross leading man still standing in this episode, but that’s not really much of a compliment when we’re grading on a curve.

Thankfully, lest my head completely explode with rage, there’s one man on this show I don’t want to stab in the face. And it’s not the one you’d expect! But this new thing Luke has going, where he shows an interest in other people? It’s a good look for him.

First, dispensing advice to Lulu like a real father who cares about her mental and physical well-being! And then treating his niece like more than just a meal-ticket:

CARLY: No more room service, and I’m cutting off your spa treatments–
LUKE: I don’t care about the spa! We’re family, Caroline! Whether you like it of not, I don’t want to see you hurt.

Of course, Carly — in true Carly fashion — proceeded to head over to Sonny’s party in full Jason-entitlement mode, i.e. as obnoxious as possible. I was actually a little embarrassed for her when she practically had that Schadenfreude orgasm in front of Michael at the mere thought of both Sonny and Jason’s relationships possibly being in trouble. (Psst… Carly! Hiding your intense glee at the suffering of people you’re supposed to love = a good way to look like less of a smug asshole.)

So, I guess if the writers were trying to make me happy to see her heart crushed by Johnny’s betrayal… success?


2 thoughts on “Gross, grosser, grossest: how’s a girl to choose?

  1. Honestly, I think Sam should just ditch Jason’s ass at this point. Team McBain! Team ANYONE ELSE!
    Also, I don’t care much about Kate, but this whole mess is the WORST.
    Can we just pay attention to Patrick again? I’ll take Starr and Michael over all this too. But not the Lulu, Ronnie, Dante stuff. It is boring and stupid. God, after Robin’s death I really haven’t enjoyed much of anything in terms of plot. Way to go new regime!

    • I’ve never had much use for Sam as a character, but there’s something about watching Jason treat her like shit that makes me root for her. Team Anyone Else for the win!

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