Previously on Vampire Diaries: Hooooootttttneesssss. Oh, and some other stuff.
Okay, you guys. I have to admit I have been procrastinating doing this recap much more than usual. I just didn’t want to watch the episode again. So, I’m going to apologize in advance for the histrionics and melodrama… and flouncing, lots and lots of flouncing.
We open on Klaus doing some of his mopey painting. Rebekah, er, Esther comes in with what she says is the last of the white oak stakes (hint: it’s not!) and Klaus casually tosses it in the fire. Honestly, I never noticed the fires until T pointed them out, but now I can’t help but think about how ridiculous it is that they seem to constantly have them going.
Anyhoo, Klaus announces that they’re going to grab Elena and go. Rebekster says she really, really wants to go to the dance, and somehow convinces Klaus to leave town the next day instead so they can both attend a high school formal. Uh, that’s just absurd. But, whatever. Rebekah tends to be absurd, so I’ll just go with it.
Meanwhile, Damon and Alaric are having a boyfriend chat about his blackouts. Alaric says he should get out of town so he isn’t a danger to anyone. Except Alaric is lying, he and Rebekster are in cahoots! She wants Alaric to help her consciousness get back into her own body by daggering Rebekah’s body. Er, okay?
At the school, Elena is expressing concern about Alaric while Caroline goes crazy with dance prep. Even Jeremy and Matt are helping decorate! Awww. It seems Matt has been helping Jeremy re-acclimate, and even got him his old job back.
Elena thinks she’s going on a date with the girls to the dance that night. But Caroline turns the conversation into a Team Stefan rally and calls him Elena’s “epic love.” Barf. She thinks it’s only fair that Elena take Stefan to the dance since she recently made out with Damon. I think the girl date sounded much better.
So Elena calls Stefan and awkwardly asks him to the dance. Stefan is so happy he half cracks a smile for a quarter of a second! Jeez, Stefan. Your overwhelming emotion is embarrassing. Tone it down! Damon comes in and snarks about Stefan taking Elena to the dance to hid his enormous man pain about it all. Man, these guys are really getting on my nerves.
After pouting at Stefan, Damon heads over to the hospital to gossip with Meredith about Alaric. It seems he’s discovered that his boyfriend hasn’t been taking the magic herbs that Bonnie gave him to keep the psychopath under wraps. DUN!
Esther takes Alaric to the spot where she was killed (because it has some magic significance or something?) and asks for his ring. Because he isn’t an idiot, evil!Alaric is a little hesitant. But Esther explains that she can bind the magic of the ring to the white oak so it won’t burn up when it kills an original. The possibility of being able to kill all of them is too tempting to pass up — he gives up the ring, she does the requisite chanting, and the stake becomes all magic-like!
Back at Elena’s house, she’s getting ready for the dance and looks super cute as a flapper. Stefan comes to pick her up, and I’m sure you know I could give a crap about how adorable they’re supposed to be. I just can’t see Stefan as sweet anymore after he was such an ass. Anyway, everyone is at the dance and in their 20s best, and they all seem to know how to do the Charleston.
Caroline confronts Matt about how close he’s been getting to Elena lately. Oh, is that still happening? Her attempt to remind us of that C or D plot is interrupted by Tyler showing up at the dance. Caroline freaks out about him showing up, but Tyler is determined to
mark his territory show Klaus he loves Caroline.
Stefan makes a joke about having blacked out most of the 20s, which is hilarious because of all those people he killed, amirite? Then they slow dance and angst about their drama. Just as they’re having a moment, it’s of course interrupted by Damon. He’s there to break the news about Alaric, namely: the Alaric they knew is gone.
Of course, Damon casually suggests that they should just kill him. Whaa? They are really going there? He isn’t even going to try to save Alaric? Jeremy shows up and is also offended by this idea. When he storms off, Elena follows him outside — and guess who’s waiting there for them? Esther! She wants Elena to come with her. Jeremy runs back to grab the Stefan and Damon, but by the time they show up, Esther has not only taken Elena, but cast a binding spell to keeping them from leaving the school. DUN!
Bonnie gets to flirt and enjoy herself for a brief minute. It would be nice if she got to have a sweet relationship. Although it would also be nice if it wasn’t just thrown together, but earned. But we can’t have it all! Anyway, Damon throws some cold water on the situation when he storms in to get Bonnie’s help with the binding spell situation.
Elsewhere: Esther explains that she needed Elena because her blood can be used to bind a spell. Elena is still concerned about Alaric, but her Alaric isn’t home anymore. Esther reveals that her plan is to turn him into another original vampire vampire hunter. (Say that ten times fast!) Elena is horrified and asks how Esther knows he won’t become something even worse than her children. Fair point. She gives an explanation that makes little sense to me, but basically means that he will be obsessed with killing vampires. Esther also reveals that the reason Alaric is going bonkers is because every time he died she was messing around with his–soul? mind?–or something. [But then what about Elena’s 1912 ancestor who also went psychotic? Was Esther messing with her mind too? – Tenillypo] Yeah, I know, right? As with so many other things on this show – just go with it.
Back at the dance, Klaus comes over to chide Tyler for leaving town and commands Tyler to let him dance with Caroline. I can’t tell if Tyler is just acting like his sire bond is still working or if it actually is. Klaus gives a speech about how he can give Caroline a better life, and I think I threw up a bit in my mouth. I’m so over Klaus. And lucky for everyone at the dance, Klaus is also stuck with them due to the binding spell, which he soon discovers and is rather cranky about.
Bonnie is trying to break the spell, but apparently not fast enough for Klaus’ taste. He starts threatening her through Jaime. I really, really want her to be able to kick his ass. Meanwhile, Matt and Jeremy have discovered that non-supernatural beings can leave whenever they want to and head off after Elena.
Back at the creepy witch place, Elena is trying to find a glimpse of the Alaric she knows in the man before her. Instead, evil! Alaric gives a speech about how Elena doesn’t really know him. Elena says she won’t give her blood for the spell, but Ester just takes it anyway, and — despite Elena’s desperate protests — Alaric drinks it. The spell is finished by him getting stabbed in the gut. Nooeeesssss!
Back at the dance from hell, Damon gives Bonnie some of Jeremy’s blood to try to help locate Elena with a spell. She tears into Damon about how he has made her life a living hell. He so deserves that, Bonnie! They figure out that Esther has a lot of power, so she must be on the “hot spot” at the cemetery. Well, that’s convenient! Stefan tells us that Jeremy and Matt have gone there to try to find Elena.
Caroline and Stefan find Tyler out in the gym, pouting. He reminds them that he knows Klaus dying means he dies too, and even suggests that it might be better that way. But not for the good of everyone, just because he is extremely jealous. Um, yay? Anyway, Caroline seems touched.
Back at the cave of despair, Elena is pulling the stake out of Alaric’s chest. Esther tells her that before Alaric completes the transformation, he might be himself again for a while. She also says that once he kills the others, he can die too. I’m sorry, IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? HOW CAN THEY BE MAKING ALARIC AN EVIL VAMPIRE!?! Esther also tells Elena that even though Jenna was made into a vampire, she is at peace. I guess that’s good to know?
Jeremy and Matt show up to help Elena. Awww. Sweet, defenseless boys. Esther thinks it’s pretty foolish too and magics them into turning their gun and cross bow on one another. D’oh! Thankfully, real Alaric shows up just in time to kill her. I’m really not a fan of Esther right now.
Back at the dance, Klaus is blaming Stefan for his mother still being free. Boo-effing-hoo. Somehow it all comes back to the usual place of him feeling so, so sad that Stefan isn’t his buddy anymore. Look, Klaus, can you please stop with that? I miss evil!Stefan too, but I’m not being all annoying moody pants over it. GAWD. Damon arrives just in time to stake his claim as “Brother of the Century.” The pissing contests in this episode are intolerable.
Bonnie comes out to tell them she succeeded and they are free. She apparently has equal opportunity anger, because she snaps at Stefan too.
Back at the caves, Alaric tells Jeremy he isn’t going to complete the transition to vampire. Jeremy and I both have a meltdown about this. (When did we get on the same wavelength?) Alaric asks me–I mean Jeremy–not to make this any harder, but seriously? They are going to take away my Alaric? Why? WHY? Why, GOD, WHY?!?
Elena blames herself for asking him to take care of them after Jenna died. But Alaric assures her that taking care of her and Jeremy was the closest thing he ever got to having the life he really wanted. OH MY GOD! MY HEART IS DYING. SHOW, YOU ARE KILLING ME. Ahem. After saying their goodbyes, Elena and Alaric come out to find the whole gang waiting for them in a show of nonverbal support. Alaric sadly takes a last look at them all before shutting himself back in the cave. I am crying all the tears right now, guys. SO MANY TEARS. HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?
Back at Klaus’ coffin collection, he undaggers Rebekah and gives a threatening speech to his mother’s body. Man, this guy needs some serious therapy.
Jamie takes Bonnie home and he is sweet and supportive. Poor, poor Jamie. I hope he lives past a few episodes because Bonnie needs someone to lean on.
Matt and Jeremy go to the only bar in town and have a drink in Alaric’s name. Meanwhile, Elena heads to Alaric’s office at school to cleans up all his stuff. He really kept that much vampire killing stuff there? It seems like overkill. She is clearly having a meltdown. Stefan shows up and talks her down by reminding her how he came back from biting her in the gym… and I’m not sure that this is a very helpful talk.
Back at the cave of grief and depression, Meredith tells Damon that she has given Alaric a sedative to help him die peacefully in his sleep. Damon says he offered to just snap his neck to get it over with, but he wasn’t interested. Oh, Damon. We know your heart is dying too! Meredith tells Damon to go be with him. I guess she can’t since she is human and he might try to feed on her?
Damon gives in and goes to sit with his bestie for a final drink. He even apologizes for killing him those couple of times. SOB! Alaric teases him about giving that deathbed dream to Rose. Awwww… of course he knows about that. Damon is trying to put up a brave front, but he looks wrecked. Damn. His relationship with Alaric might be the best thing about his character. What will we do without it? I really can’t handle this.
Back at Bonnie’s place, Esther appears to her almost as if in a dream, and compels her to go to Alaric. She does some brain freeze mojo on Damon, stabs herself, and gives her blood to him to drink. Gah! Alaric feeds on her and menacingly wields the indestructible stake. Damn!
Okay, Alaric better come back, you guys. I spent the entire last half of this episode convincing myself that vampire dead is way better than dead dead and that anything could happen to bring our old Alaric back. I really hope so. For now, I’m seriously depressed.
Tonight: Badass Alaric rises. Mopes.