Vampire Diaries Special Edition: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

OMG, YOU GUYS. This show is trying to kill us, I swear. Was that amazing for you too? We’re still doing a recap later in the week, but this episode deserves some immediate reaction.

Yeah, that’s right. It’s time for: DRUNK VAMPIRE DIARIES LIVE CHAT!

(THIS PICTURE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FINALE.
I JUST THINK THEY’RE PRETTY.)

First, let’s set the scene:

4:59 PM
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: We should have thought about live blogging the finale or something interesting like that.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Although my thoughts aren’t probably too great live.
TENILLYPO: Yeah, mine would all be SQUEE!
TENILLYPO: and FLAIL!
TENILLYPO: and SHUT UP, STEFAN
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Seriously.

Naturally, we decided to do it anyway.

8:20 PM
TENILLYPO: Okay, starting! I’m finishing a bottle of wine tonight, btw. Come hell or high water.
TENILLYPO: God, is Elena always cheerful in the morning? If she wasn’t delightful, I’d hate her, just on principle.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Heh
TENILLYPO: JENNA! ELENA’S MOM!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Poor Elena. Oh no, they have no one except the vamps.
TENILLYPO: Poor orphans.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Ahahaha… I find it hilarious that out of all of them Jeremy gets the dumbest brother on earth prize.
TENILLYPO: Sad, but true… Love you anyway, Little J!

TENILLYPO: Oh, shit. Alaric. Actually, real talk: he could kill Meredith and I wouldn’t really care.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Yeah, I didn’t think about the fact that he is still Elena’s legal guardian. I don’t see how using vampire blood is against the council’s policies?
TENILLYPO: evil!Alaric is such a vampire bigot.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: ’tis true.
TENILLYPO: Yay, team high school to the rescue! Damn, I want Caroline to be my nursemaid. VODKA CURES ALL.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: That is also truth. Did anyone tell Jeremy?
TENILLYPO: Hah. I’m sure he’ll figure it out eventually.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Flashbacks@!
TENILLYPO: YAY! Bonnie was a cheerleader too? Huh.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: That doesn’t really surprise me. They were all popular girlz.
TENILLYPO: Ack, cute!Matt kisses! Weeeeeiiirrd.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Meh. You don’t have to do anything, Elena! I have no sympathy for those boys.
TENILLYPO: CHOOSE YOURSELF, ELENA!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh crap. This is why Jeremy wasn’t told. So that he could be free to be approached by evil!Alaric.
TENILLYPO: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN
TENILLYPO: ELIJAH!!!!!!!!!!!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: yeeesssss!@@\\ heeeeeeee
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Is this the flail part?
TENILLYPO: OH MY SWEET HONEY BUNNY!
TENILLYPO: YES, I JUST MADE AN EMBARRASSING NOISE AND THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN TYRANNOSAURUS ARMS
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: When does Elijah get to have some naked fun times?
TENILLYPO: WHEN HE COMES TO MY HOUSE. OR BONNIE’S.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Okay so Jeremy doesn’t give a shit about Caroline or Tyler anymore?
TENILLYPO: Yeah… but I can also see how killing ALL vampires might be worth two lives.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Especially to Jeremy. But it isn’t worth it to ME.
TENILLYPO: Priorities!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Elijah always feels shame.
TENILLYPO: Oh, Elijah. You’re so snotty.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Hahahahaha.
TENILLYPO: I LOVE YOU
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I freaking love Damon on the cell phone. Awesome.
TENILLYPO: Hee!
TENILLYPO: OH HI LIZ!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh craaaaap. I didn’t think of that consequence. They have to run? Nooeeeessss!
TENILLYPO: How many council members are there? It’s kind of funny how the rest of them never do anything but now they’re a threat.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: In your last recap you said exactly what I was thinking. I love how the alliances shift so often on this show. And so realistically.
TENILLYPO: It keeps things fresh!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I don’t think it is forced.
TENILLYPO: Oh, cute!Matt, no… What are they doing? Cute!Matt cares about Caroline and Tyler.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Awww.
TENILLYPO: YAY!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: It was a fake out!
TENILLYPO: God, this show always gets me. I’m such a sucker.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: But also the characters are layered so you can see them being pulled in different directions and believe that they could make difference choices.
TENILLYPO: Yes, agreed. Ooh, Snow White and the Huntsman! I really want to see that.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I think I would too. We should go.
TENILLYPO: We should! Done and done.
TENILLYPO: Oh, god. Caroline and Tyler are so happy. They’re doomed.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I hope they get on the Bonnie/Damon thing. I think the love triangle is getting stale.
TENILLYPO: Yes. Well, you know I’ve been on the Bonnie/Damon train since day one.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: We need more love layers! Heh.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Wait, so they are conscious when they are in that weird vamp state? Creepy.
TENILLYPO: I love that Damon appreciates Bonnie’s darker impulses.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: They are like minded that way!
TENILLYPO: They’re a perfect match!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Well, I definitely could see them using that to push them together.
TENILLYPO: But I think what I like about them is also that she’s an equal, powerwise.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Yeah, I think that is nice – ie, Damon and Bonnie. I think it is worth exploring. And would be good drama with Elena.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh Damon, you think you always know better. But at least you are consistent in your assholishness.
TENILLYPO: True. He is nothing if not consistent.
TENILLYPO: Oh, dear. Alaric! Run, Damon!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: God, I love Ian Somerhalder. He seems like such a nice guy. But is it possible for someone so pretty to actually be compassionate?
TENILLYPO: A philosophical question for the ages.

TENILLYPO: Oh, cute!Matt. You could make me tea any day.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Hee.
TENILLYPO: In a non-sexy way! Just a nice cute!Matt way!
TENILLYPO: Okay, this is such an awkward convo to be having with your ex. The problem is Damon is a mad hottie, Matt! Duh!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Yeah, but does Stefan sound good in this scenario? The guy she “should” love?
TENILLYPO: Not really.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Meh.
TENILLYPO: He’s boring and safe.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Exactly.
TENILLYPO: Unless he turns his emotions off and goes on a killing spree!
TENILLYPO: Flashback!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: eeee!
TENILLYPO: Elena’s mom looks really young. God, CW, cast a parent over 40!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Ha
TENILLYPO: Oh, dear. Cute!Matt is going rogue.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Yikes! Apparently cute!Matt has a pushy Damon streak.
TENILLYPO: Yeah, Paternalism /= attractive, Cute!Matt.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I hate this paternal ‘we all know better than you’ crap.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Ha! we share a brain.
TENILLYPO: Hah. Oh, Rebekah. Have you never watched a horror movie before?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Word.
TENILLYPO: Well, she’s been asleep for 80 years, so actually, she probably hasn’t.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: True.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: whoa
TENILLYPO: WHOAH
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Did they actually do that?
TENILLYPO: I was not expecting that!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Me either! I thought they would never kill one of them.
TENILLYPO: TYLER!!!!
TENILLYPO: OH NO
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: OH SHIT
TENILLYPO: I told you they were doomed, didn’t I? DAMN YOU, VAMPIRE DIARIES!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: There has to be some catch. It can’t be true.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Bah.
TENILLYPO: I love how freaked out Stefan looks. He had a facial expression!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Okay seriously, show. We know that you all aren’t going anywhere. Cut the melodrama!
TENILLYPO: Did Damon just suggest Stefan go bang Elena for the two of them? Kinky!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: No. You have a dirty mind.
TENILLYPO: I have an awesome mind, you mean.

TENILLYPO: Oooh, she has to choose!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh, good lord.
TENILLYPO: I see what you did there, show!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: This is kind of silly.
TENILLYPO: Kind of?
TENILLYPO: Oh, Damon. Why are you so pretty?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: So, so pretty.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh don’t ask stupid questions. Just tell her you love her. Why even ask her to pick?
TENILLYPO: Yeah.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Just show her you love her, you idiot.
TENILLYPO: Poor Matt. This is such an awkward conversation to listen to.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Seriously.

TENILLYPO: Oh, Caroline…
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh my heart, Caroline.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh god…
TENILLYPO: Oh, he’s comforting her!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: This is making me cry.
TENILLYPO: Sweet Tyler!
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: This fucking show.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: See, that is love. You don’t freaking ask her to make stupid choices at the important moments.
TENILLYPO: Remember when he was a skeezy date rapist? Good times.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Yeah well, it is like Chuck. I try to forget that time existed.
TENILLYPO: Did it just kill the vampire part of him? I wonder if that’s the catch. Since he was a wolf before?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: But why wouldn’t it have done the same to Klaus? Oh, because he was a vamp first?
TENILLYPO: Maybe?
TENILLYPO: God, the Secret Circle is so bad.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I am so behind on that. Sounds like I need not catch up?
TENILLYPO: No, don’t do it. I’m only still watching because I hate myself.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: oh Matt!!!
TENILLYPO: Cute!Matt needs a hug!
TENILLYPO: Oh, Elijah! You also need ALL THE HUGS.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: weep
TENILLYPO: Huh. They all thought it was Klaus.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Wait, I’m confused. So everyone thinks Klaus was the vamp for their blood line?
TENILLYPO: WHAT
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: er, what?
TENILLYPO: WHAT THE FUCK. BONNIE?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: WHERE’S TYLER?
TENILLYPO: I DON’T KNOW
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: AHHHHH
TENILLYPO: WHAT IS HAPPENING
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: OH SWEET JESUS
TENILLYPO: I’m SO CONFUSED and UPSET
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: NOT AGAIN! THAT DAMNED BRIDGE
TENILLYPO: Oh, Alaric, you and Damon ARE friends! In my perfect world, this would be the yellow crayon moment and real Alaric would come back through the POWER OF DAMON’S LOVE…

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: AHHHHHH
TENILLYPO: WHAT. I’m so confused still. This flashback! I feel like I need to rewatch the first season.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Yeah.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Ahahahahaha. You are so funny, show.
TENILLYPO: They did meet first! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Is this a “What if she met him first” thing?
TENILLYPO: Maybe?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh this is real?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I HAVE NO IDEA
TENILLYPO: I can’t tell anymore.
TENILLYPO: UP IS DOWN
TENILLYPO:  LEFT IS RIGHT
TENILLYPO: No, it’s real! WHAT.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Oh, okay. So yeah, he did meet her first.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: iiiiinnnnteresting
TENILLYPO: But then why was he such a bag of dicks when he came to town in season one?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Well, he wasn’t necessarily not a bag of dicks here. He did compel her with no thought.

TENILLYPO: NO, NOT MY CUTE MATT
TENILLYPO: Is this Sigur Ros, btw?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: MAAAAATTTT
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Hmm, re: sigur ros, maybe? [Ed. note: Yup! It was!]
TENILLYPO: Guys, the time you’re spending underwater arguing could be spent rescuing you both.
TENILLYPO: Why can’t Elena swim herself?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I don’t know what is happening, honestly.
TENILLYPO: Oooh! Real!Alaric’s ghost!
TENILLYPO: OH NO
TENILLYPO: He’s really gone!
TENILLYPO: Now I’m crying.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: whhhaaaaaaa?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING????
INCANDESCENTFLOWER:  JEREMY I’M RIGHT THERE WITH YA.
TENILLYPO: Oh, whatever. Elena’s not dead for real.
TENILLYPO: OMG
TENILLYPO: THEY’RE VAMPING ELENA. Effing finally.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: She’s now a vampire????
Holy shit!
TENILLYPO: I KNOW

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I can’t believe they did that.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: THIS SHOW
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: ALARIC
TENILLYPO: ALARIC
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: EPIC FLAILING
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I AM SOOOO SAD
INCANDESCENTFLOWER:  ALL OVER AGAIN
TENILLYPO: Actually, it sounds like he might stick around as a ghost?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: What?
TENILLYPO: He told Jeremy he would never be alone?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: The ghost versions are the least appealing character forms.
TENILLYPO: Maybe Bonnie can do a spell so other people can see him. I don’t know.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Also, after they killed Klaus my first thought was why the hell they did all that Caroline crap and now…
TENILLYPO: What the hell is going on with Bonnie? Why did she save Klaus? WHERE IS TYLER?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I KNOW
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I just hope that they didn’t body switch so Tyler’s dead. That would suuuuck.
TENILLYPO: I hope not. I can’t believe Bonnie would kill Tyler.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: And so Klaus is going to creepily pretend to be Tyler. Icky.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: MY HEART HURTS.
TENILLYPO: MINE TOO.

INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I think they are going to eventually have to find a way to turn her back to human. They do so in the books and I think that will happen.
TENILLYPO: Really? That seems like such a cop out.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: Although actually, doesn’t Damon become human again or something in the books? Those are so cracktastic it is hard to say.
TENILLYPO: Who the hell knows, the summaries of those books are ridiculous.
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: I did really enjoy reading the summaries that one night. Although I have to say the show is just as crazy. Just more believable. Maybe that is the wrong term. The craziness is earned?
INCANDESCENTFLOWER: There is a method to their madness. The show doesn’t go over the edge.
TENILLYPO: Sorry, no. The show’s never had a MYSTICAL ELEVATOR.

And… SCENE. Expect more fully formed confusion and flailing later.

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10 thoughts on “Vampire Diaries Special Edition: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

  1. Holy moley, that was intense. I am SO glad I didn’t have to wait a week to hear your thoughts. Turning Elena into a vampire? Not cool, EPICALLY not cool. It changes the entire emotional resonance of the show. For me, Elena’s humanity and the fight to keep it were integral to my emotional investment in the series. This changes everything, now I don’t give a crap because nothing seems to matter, nothing is important because she’s immortal. Elena has eternity to do whatever and the strength to fight for herself, there’s no urgency/no peril anymore and she’s no longer RELATABLE. And from a character perspective, this is NOT what Elena wanted for herself, she wanted to have children, grow old, etc. so this is an epically tragic loss for her. Grr, boo-hiss.

    Thank goodness you mentioned turning her back into a human, it never occurred to me that was a possibility. I will cling feebly to that hope.

    P.S. – the body switching thing is getting super old, although I do like that it gives the actors a chance to change it up a little.

    P.P.S. – Tyler had SO better not be dead dead.

    • Okay, now that I’ve had more time to consider, I think Tyler’s not dead, just possessed, the same way Klaus possessed Alaric last season. I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me last night. I BLAME THE WINE.

      Re: Elena, I think vamping her was a good way to change up the dynamic and the triangle, which was getting a little stale after three seasons of the same. I did know she was turned fairly early in the books, so I’ve been expecting this for a while. You’re right that this isn’t what she wanted, and I’m expecting a lot of drama to unfold from that, but anything can happen on this show, so I’m not worried about them no being able to do a take back if they need to. But she’ll still be relatable, because she’s Elena! And I’m sure she’ll still be in danger, because this is Vampire Diaries, heh.

      • I see your point about Alaric being possessed by Klaus, but Klaus had a body at that point. Can you possess with out one? That is probably a dumb question. Didn’t Ester’s body technically “die” after she possessed Rebekah. Although her body wasn’t a pile of ashes.

        • I think the possession is a fail safe that protects the possessor (if that’s a word?) if either the original body or the possessed body dies. So long as one body remains, they’re set.

          What I want to know now is if Tyler was given a choice about this? Because if not… not cool, Bonnie!

  2. From the ew.com article:

    Q – Did Elena know that Meredith had given her vampire blood when she told Stefan to save Matt first?
    A – That is a question that we will ask and answer when we come back next season.

    Hmmm, now that’s a question I would like to know the answer to. Maybe that’s why she kept on insisting that Stefan save Matt because she knew she had vamp blood in her. Very interesting. Also, now that she’s a vamp, that means that all the compulsion that Damon used on her (the first time they met and th first time he told her he loved her comes to mind) would have worn off. I wonder if she’ll change her mind about her selection then.

    Now a question for folks, would you choose the guy who made you “glad to be alive” or the one who “consumes” you?

    Great interaction above by the way. I was so with you guys on it. LOL! :)

    • That’s a really interesting question, but I kind of hope Elena didn’t know? On the one hand, it would be nice to think she had some choice in the matter, but on the other, I kind of liked the parallel of her dad sacrificing himself for her and Elena sacrificing herself for Matt. Kind of lessens the impact if she knew she wouldn’t really die…

      The repressed memories thing is great! I feel like I need to do a season one rewatch this summer because there’s a lot I’ve forgotten about the early stuff…

      Now a question for folks, would you choose the guy who made you “glad to be alive” or the one who “consumes” you?

      Haha… the age old question. Truth: if Elena was my friend in real life I would straight up tell her to ditch both those guys. Neither is any good for her! Heh.

      But I think in general “makes you feel alive” is a healthier and happier long-term choice than “consumes you.” The latter’s only really fun for a fling and if you let it get more serious than that, it just opens the door to obsessive badness and Wuthering Heights tragedy. No one wants that.

      (Fictionally speaking, of course, Team: Consumes You all the way!)

  3. I was really hoping Elena would choose herself and dump both Salvatore brothers for now. It’s too early in the series to settle the triangle with finality and this choice just makes her look fickle later when she changes her mind (which of course she will because Damon is clearly end-game as far as the writers are concerned). I am hugely concerned about next season, it looks like “the council” will be the big bad of the year and with Elena a vampire now, it bodes poorly for the humans of Mystic Falls. I am not okay with that, so I hope I’m wrong about the direction it’s going.

    • I liked that she did make it clear that while she loved both of them, Stefan was the right choice for her *right now*.Not so worried about fickleness because presumably circumstances will change so much next year that everything should be thrown out the window. But yeah, team CHOOSE YOURSELF, ELENA is pretty much always where I’m at, as much as I enjoy her chemistry with Damon.

      Re: the council, I have no idea what’s going to happen next season, but I’m willing to give the writers the benefit of the doubt. They’re rarely let me down thus far.

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