Okay, Sam was in some serious, no bullshit truth-telling mode again today. And my girl Elizabeth was in the thick of it, and I have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about wanting them to stop fighting and braid each other’s hair and tell Jason to fuck off and ride off into the sunset together. But! Hard as it is to believe, there are actually non-baby swap things happening on the canvas and I’m going to talk about them, damnit!
So first off: MAAAAAATTTT!
I mean, I knew Jason Cook was leaving, so Matt’s departure wasn’t really a surprise. But I was kind of hoping he would leave the country to escape legal repercussions and “nobly” free Maxie from their marriage. Maybe join Noah at Doctors Without Borders? I don’t know. Just something, anything other than the one murder that actually gets solved and punished in this town being the only one that was completely justified and accidental. Ugh.
But at least this means the Saga of Lisa Niles is finally over? I hope? If that was actually the last time we’ll see Matt, I do wish Elizabeth could have at least gotten a good bye. But Matt and Patrick got a nice, emotional moment of brotherly affection and respect before he left. And as always, the kicked puppy look on Spinelli’s face after hearing Maxie planned to stay Mrs. Hunter was joy itself.
So long, Matt Hunter! You never got half the story you deserved, but I enjoyed you all the same.
Elsewhere, Anna’s the new HBIC at the PCPD! (Which also handily frees up Mac to break out of the boring rut he’s been in pretty much for the last ten years.) And the props department is already hard at work to commemorate the occasion:
Hah! I love the idea that the general populous of Port Charles is just completely blasé about police incompetence/corruption/conflict of interest with the local criminal element at this point.
Luke and Tracy celebrated this turn of events by having a mature, adult conversation about their relationship where neither attempted to berate, belittle, or manipulate the other and she slipped him the tongue and none of it was played for a joke. I know! I was shocked, too!
This! This is how I want them to get together again, if they’re going to! I don’t want him to wear her down or scam her with a fake heart attack or steal her money and make her chase him. I just want her to decide what she wants and go after it. I want him to take her seriously. And I want her to have some freaking agency for once!
(Today made me very happy, is what I’m saying.)
In other Spencer news, Johnny continued his evil reign of evil by cozying up to Lulu while still plotting to frame her father for Anthony’s murder. And yet, I didn’t hate their scenes? It was strange. I think they had more chemistry while platonically partnering up to turn the Haunted Star into a nightclub than they did the entire time they were actually dating.
The funniest part of these scenes was Lulu casually discussing her ex-boyfriend’s romantic relationship with her much, much older cousin. But then I remembered that she use to have to deal with the fact that he was dating her mother-in-law, so she probably considers the Carly thing an upgrade on the awkwardness scale.
(I’m not even going to touch on the other Johnny news of the day, because the thought of Kate having his baby is so hilariously awful that I don’t even want to contemplate it. Although the look on Sonny’s face when he finds out might almost be worth it. Almost.)
Finally, Starr and gratuitously shirtless!Michael had a welcome reunion. Although it cracked me up when he offered her the sweaty shirt he’d had tucked down the back of his pants as a tissue. (Michael: not greatest at wooing ladies.)
As vomitrocious as the idea of her apologizing to Sonny is, I am glad to see them having conversations with a little more variety than: “You’re father killed my family!” “No, he didn’t!” “Did too!” “Did not!” “DID TOO!”
And really, hearing the various Llanview-ites casually explain how they all know not one but two people with this incredibly specific and rare mental disorder never ceases to amuse me. I really need these two to spend as much time as possible comparing the details of their crazy soapy childhoods. It brings me joy.