Happiness is a good Friday cliffhanger.

I’ve been sick all week — summer colds, you guys, so much worse than winter ones! — and aside from the utter adorableness that is Molly and TJ and the eternal sadness that is McBain joining the club of law enforcement who let Sonny and Jason slide for crimes committed right in front of them… there just hasn’t been much to talk about.

But then today! There was kissing! And plotting! And more kissing! And it kind of made me super happy?

Michael and Starr! I just love them. Starr smiling and letting her competitive streak shine through is an INFINITE improvement over shrieking Starr. And goofy, shirtless Michael? So much more endearing than smug, mob-wannabe Michael. Their awkward flirting warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart.

Meanwhile, Sam and John finally put those secret sibling rumors to rest! Unless RC’s planning to pull a Star Wars on us, which… no. Let’s not.

It’s not like I’m crazy about John cheating on Natalie! But Sam getting to be the supportive listener to John’s angst? Yum. (The chemistry! It burns! I’m helpless against it! And I’d be lying if I said the preview of Elizabeth an Jason on the bridge did not make me very, very happy. Basically: Sam/John makes everything better.)

Maybe John/Nat fans can do what I did when Port Charles killed Karen and turned Jagger into an unfaithful asshole. (A thing which I am in no way STILL REALLY FUCKING BITTER ABOUT even after all these years, let me assure you.) Namely: stick your fingers in your ears, yell “LALALALALA” at the top of your lungs, and invent a rich fantasy life where your couple is still living their happily ever after somewhere off screen.

Elsewhere! Anna and Spinelli teamed up to close in on Heather, and there is no part of that sentence I don’t love. (Spinelli! 100% less throttle-worthy when interacting with women he doesn’t want to bang!) Heather’s overconfidence is going to be her downfall, and I love the way the various people she’s antagonized and underestimated are joining up to take her down. Umbrella stories for the win!

Of course, nothing could be more wonderful than the lady herself:

HEATHER: I didn’t spike anybody’s ice tea for the last two months!
LUKE: Two months?
HEATHER: She had it coming. That’s all I’m gonna say about it.

 And then she MEOWED, you guys. I just– I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

But it can’t be all love. Lately, it seems like any time Jason and Sonny sit down for a heart-to-heart, something amazing happens. And by “amazing,” I mean a thing that causes me to have a rage blackout:

SONNY: McBain should have known better than to approach his sister in public. Now he didn’t kill her directly, but you know what? Definitely put her at risk.
JASON: Now he’s gotta carry it. I definitely can, uh, can relate to that.
SONNY: You’re not sympathizing with McBain, are you?
JASON: No, I’m not going to make any judgements; I can relate. It’s my fault Sam’s baby died. I sent the guys after McBain. He couldn’t get Sam and the baby to the hospital. It’s my fault.
SONNY: This is the business that we’re in. McBain knows that more than anybody. He should have known not to provoke you!
JASON: Sam’s baby still died, Sonny. It doesn’t matter.
SONNY: There’s no way of you knowing she was in McBain’s motel room. […] She could have been at her house or at her mother’s house or whatever. She didn’t have to be nine months pregnant in a hotel room.

See? They’ve both made mistakes! I mean, Sam had the audacity to leave her house while pregnant and Jason hired thugs to beat up a cop who had the audacity to talk to his wife. That’s totally the same in moral terms, right? (Also, ladies! If you’re nine months pregnant and anywhere other than your home at all times, it is totes your fault is something happens to your baby! Everyone knows that babies never die in people’s houses!)

But let’s slide right past the victim blaming and circle back around to the part where Sonny’s incredulous that Jason could possibly relate to McBain’s situation in any way, shape, or form. Because Sonny — of course — has led an entirely blameless life in which no one he loves has ever been hurt due to the unintentional consequences of his actions or choices:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silly me! All of those things happened so long ago! How can Sonny be expected to remember every little wife who’s been blown up or son who’s been raped because of him? It’s not like there’s a more recent event — like, say, the entire reason he had Joe Scully Jr. brought to town, which might bring to mind certain parallels between his situation and McBain’s. OH WAIT:

 

Oh, Sonny. You’re still the worst. Forever and always, cupcake.

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19 thoughts on “Happiness is a good Friday cliffhanger.

  1. i don’t think michael was raped b/c of sonny, franco had it done b/c of jason.

    and sonny,carly(never thought i would write that) and elizabeth were all right, sam could have gone to the metrocourt, where a lot of people were around, or her mom’s house since she was close to the delivery date. plus she could have called someone at the motel, or driven her car to the hospital when she thought something was wrong instead she took a newborn who she thought was ill into the woods during a storm and when she found shelter she left the kid in a planter OUTSIDE in the storm. i know sam never graduated but even a moron would know not to leave a newborn out in the rain.

    • @ Julie, like the poster was saying where a pregnant woman chooses to be while she is pregnant has not one ioda of a difference about blame. Dont know if you have ever had kids or watched the show. She did try to find the manager at the hotel, he was gone, two after the blood loss, pain, and anxiety of birthing rational thought is difficult at best, three it was not raining when she went out in the storm, four, when you feel like you are going to faint anywhere you can put your child down is safer then falling on them. I am not blaming Jason or Sam because well we all know the baby isnt dead. So right now we can blame Todd and Heather lol.

    • Lots of people bear some indirect responsibility for Michael being raped, which is the comparison he was making to McBain. Sonny’s decision to marry Claudia and then publicly provoke and humiliate her, his insistence on the coverup afterward and his false confession, all led to Michael being in that vulnerable position in the first place. That’s more than enough for any actually loving, non-sociopath parent to feel a heap of guilt.

      Re: Sam, putting a newborn down gently the rain is always preferable to dropping it in the rain, which she felt in danger of doing. And clearly, since that baby is actually ALIVE and WELL, the planter and storm wandering didn’t actually do any damage.

      But that’s not the point. The point is that pregnant women do actually go about their daily lives in all sorts of places. Even motels! Which are not actually inherently dangerous in any way! Was she supposed to confine herself literally to her house for a month just on the off-chance she might go into labor someplace undesirable and in this day and age not be able to find a single person or working phone to get help? Come on. It was contrivance that put her in that position, and I’m okay with that because it’s a freaking soap opera. But to blame any of this on the fact that she was not in an ideal location when she prematurely went into labor is ludicrous.

  2. Aww, Michael and Starr, I think I’m falling in love with them. We need more teen love and Starr seems to bring out Michael’s caring side. And Sam having someone compassionate who listens is long overdue, when was the last time she had someone who made her smile and listened?
    Sonny. Sonny, Sonny, you were so awesome with Kate, then you blow it (though Joe Scully Jr is a sleazebag, for YOU or Jason to talk about someone else paying is ridiculous). I like McBain but is it something in the air that makes all cops (except for Mac, GV’s Lucky and for a while, Dante, and both were crucified for it) decide Sonny’s OK? I was hoping these writers would change that. Anna at least is standing her ground and won’t hop into bed with Sonny

    • Oh, God! Why did you put the idea of Sonny and Anna out into the world? Now I need brain bleach. ;)

      Sonny also blew it by deciding to take revenge on Joe Jr. as if it was HIS revenge to take. Um, Sonny? YOU are not the one this thing happened to. If Kate wants revenge, she should get to pull the trigger or at least give you the go ahead. And if she says ‘no, I don’t want revenge, leave it alone,’ then you should honor that and leave it alone. Instead, look! If it had worked, Kate would have gotten nothing from it, as she didn’t even know, and now that it hasn’t worked, her attacker’s been brought needlessly back into her life. I’m sure that will help with recovery! God, he’s an ass.

      Starr/Michael = my happy place right now.

      • I didn’t meant too, Sorry. Anna would never sink that low. She clearly is no fan of the mob.
        Sonny is two steps forward a million steps back to being an idiot. McBain should have had him arrested. Why, Mcbain, did you not arrest him. WHY?

        I’m having a shortage of couples to root for, with no more Scrubs unless Robin comes back, some Lante (but I can deal with not having them 24/7, it’s balance that counts). Starr/Michael are adorable. I do like that Elizabeth is with someone who is treating her well and putting her first, something Jason just can’t do, Sonny and the mob come first.

        What’s up with Patrick’s pills? Are they what Lulu said? I don’t like where they’re going, too much like Lucky after Siobhan died.

        • I don’t have any spoilers on the Patrick plot, but I’m assuming he’s in trouble and Maxie and hopefully Anna, Mac, and Liz will help him through it. Insta-addiction is a well this show has gone to so many times before and it’s not my favorite, but it does give him something to do while still focusing on grieving, I guess.

          • That’s probably what will happen, I’m just over the addiction stories mostly because I still have a bad taste from the callous way it was handled with Luke. I hope they can help Patrick before something bad happens.

        • Anna is more than a minute older than Sonny, so of course it will never happen anyway, so no need to worry. I mean, I know there was Alexis and Sonny, who is also older than him, but TPTB made it clear over and over how much they thought it was mistake for years and years for ‘studmuffin’ Sonny to have been with ‘frigid’ Alexis.

  3. Given that Jason wouldn’t have been a hitman were it not for Sonny, I can place blame for Michael’s rape at Sonny’s feet. Mostly Franco’s, but also Sonny’s,

    More importantly, however, so glad you joined me on the Spinelli love train, T. Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies.

  4. Sam/KeMo and John/ME are ridiculously good together. Those screen caps tell all; their comfort together as actors – their bodies just fit together like a puzzle, and that kiss looks like they are thinking, “Thank God at last – it’s been so long.” (LOL) Good article!

  5. Actually not sure if you are aware of this but mosty Nat fans feel that the reason John is in PC is that Nat dumped his greasy ass as soon as she found out that the love of her life Jared was still alive.. Sam can have the McDouchebag and she will soon find out he will dump her as soon as the next damsel arrives in town , that is just who the McPrick is, I don”t think he can even spell monogamous.

  6. And related to Sonny, Kate is now back to horrible again for calling Sonny “an alleged mobster” to Trey. Really Kate? REALLY? sigh.

    • The naive, rose-coloured denial so many women in Port Charles live in is so annoying, can no one except Anna, Delores and Alexis see what the mob does? Sonny IS a mobster!

      • I think you can add Lulu and Kristina to that group of knowing what the mob does. But I just find it so much more annoying with Kate. More than anyone else, she’s suffered because of Sonny, and not just because of the mob.

        • Yeah, Lulu and Kristina are aware. Lulu used to be naive, but she lost the rose coloured glasses and realized the truth when Sonny shot Dante. Kristina is aware too, I just wish she’d find a better and smarter way deal with it, this show is gonna backfire and hurt the wrong people. WAKE UP, KATE!!!

  7. first comment posting and long time lurker and i have to say i love your blog you guys are so honest funny and you say everything that im thinking

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