I see what you’re up to, show! Trying to make me feel sorry for poor, old, out-of-the-loop Trey, who thinks his mother abandoned him for no reason and has no idea his beloved father is a murdering rapist mobster wannabe. After all:
JOE JR: You know, a son wants his father’s love so badly, he’ll turn a blind eye to his failings, even his crimes.
Except it’s kind of hard to feel bad for him when said father is currently guilt tripping him from a prison cell into a fake marriage to steal the mob fortune of his enemy and he STILL hasn’t caught on that maybe he’s not the nicest guy ever.
I’M WITH YOU, SONNY’S DUBIOUS EXPRESSION
Well, it won’t work, show! I will stand firm in my hatred of Douchy McDoucherton! Even if it puts me in the uncomfortable positions of agreeing with Sonny! You just see if I don’t!
Fortunately, the rest of the Davis girls’ love lives are looking up. By which I mean there seems to be a real chance that Alexis may be on the receiving end of some hot loving after which she is neither humiliated nor betrayed:
I AM SO ON BOARD WITH THIS PLAN,
IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY
Especially if this plan results in seeing more of Nancy Lee Grahn’s fabulous… tracks of land. I have needs, okay? SIMPLE NEEDS.
Meanwhile, Molly and TJ continue to be the cutest:
Apparently, TJ’s being recast? Which will hopefully not ruin their burgeoning cuteness, because I am enjoying it a lot right now.
And for her part, the last Davis girl managed to have a conversation with her husband that didn’t make me want to stab him in the throat. But since I’d much rather she be making out some more with John McBain, I don’t really have much to say about that. (McBAIN! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? COME BACK!)
Also, this happened:
JASON: [Todd]’s got a history of violence! And don’t say I do too.
CARLY: I wasn’t going to.
ME: I was! But no, tell me how it’s different. Go on.
JASON: This guy has taken hostages. He’s shot somebody just because he pissed him off.
Oh! Okay. See, I thought you were going to go with something like “I’m violent for profit and Todd’s violent for kicks.” (Because killing people for money is always the morally superior choice. Clearly.) But Jason’s right — he’s totally different than Todd. After all, Jason would never dream of have a man beaten for pissing him off. Or shoot someone in cold blood for revenge.
I’m glad we settled that. I was getting worried.