The world just got a little bit darker. And saner.

Before we move onto discussing all the BABIES and PANDEMICS that seem to be brewing in Port Charles… a moment of silence, if you will, for my dearest darling, Heather Webber, as she waltzes back out of our lives, just as completely bananas as she came into them:


I mean, I’m not weeping and throwing myself on the funeral pyre just yet, but only because I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing her again, probably right around sweeps. (Which is so long away, you guys! Crazy Anthony got to stick around for years murdering people left and right, but we can’t have crazy Heather for more than a few months? How is there any justice in the world?)

Anyway, here’s to you, Heather Webber! We had some good times, didn’t we? A little murder here, a little baby-snatching there. You rid us of Maggie. You gave us Anthony in the wheelbarrow, and Todd’s “crazy calling!” ring tone. You couldn’t make me care about Steven Lars (hey, nobody’s perfect), but you did make Olivia more interesting than she’s been for ages.

You are a national treasure and I love you. Don’t be a stranger now, you hear?

But meanwhile, the reason I know we’ll be seeing Heather again was across town deciding to get a well-earned divorce. Now, you all know where my biases are when it comes to the eternal JaSam vs Liason debate. (Actually, my true biases are for hot, hot Sam/Liz action. The fact that this will never, ever happen makes me cry sad tears of lesbian sadness, but still! SIZZLE 4-EVA!)

But all that aside, the past two days of Jason and Sam’s break up were incredibly well done soap, and I’ll admit that even my cold, dead heart was moved. Not enough, you know, to not be cheering their break up on. Because god, was this ever a long time coming.

But we got some great scenes of them talking through their issues like adults, being honest about the fact that they still loved each other, but being together was just too painful. How refreshing, soap characters, to see a break up sans anger, histrionics, and accusations of betrayal! (Not naming any names, Sonny.) It wasn’t one thing that one person did; it was all the things piled up.

And after all my bitching about Jason’s handling of the whole baby situation, hearing him finally accept responsibility for not being there for Sam was incredibly satisfying. As was her insistence that her friendship with John was non-negotiable.

Of course, as soon as the baby secret comes out, all bets will be off. The writers couldn’t have made that more clear if they’d had a neon sign blazing THIS IS ONLY A TEMPORARY SETBACK in the background. But for now, those of use who find Sam/John and Liz/Jason infinitely more interesting can hopefully look forward to at least a few months of those relationships getting explored.

And then! To make up for all the depressing baby stuff, we finally got some good baby news. Because  Dante and Lulu are having a baby! To which Dante reacted with perhaps the best facial expression ever:

Hee! And then he talked Lulu out of her freakout and the two of them were so happy and cute together, and it was pretty perfect, I’m not going to lie. DANTE FALCONERI, HOW ARE YOU REAL? I mean seriously.

None of which was apparently heart-melting enough, because then they went to see Luke:

LULU: You were really thinking about me when you were tied up.
LUKE: You find that surprising?
LULU: I guess I just don’t expect you to be sentimental.
LUKE: I don’t think it’s sentimental to think of the people you love when you’re dying. You’re my only daughter, baby. You’re on my mind more than you know.

That sound you just heard? That was me overdosing on fuzzy, warm Spencer feels. The world’s gone topsy turvy, guys!

On the pandemic front, um… Jerry’s clearly planning one? Or being paid to help set one in motion somehow? I don’t know. He’s still playing his master plan pretty close to the vest, but the clues seem to be adding up to some sort of looming medical catastrophe on the horizon. And despite the fact that we already went through this a few years ago, and — other than killing off Courtney — it was really terrible, I’m kind of  looking forward to whatever happens next.

I mean, Alexis got some appreciation, y’all! As far as I’m concerned, Jerry can call her daaaaarling in that delightful accent of his all day, so long as she’s allowed to slap him and tell him he’s being a delusional creeper.

And you know, I’ve had a lot of issues with Jerry’s “characterization” in the past. (If you consider “Hey, something evil is happening — let’s make Jerry the one behind it! Why? Who cares!” to be characterization at all. Which, note to Bob Guza, I do not.)

But this time he’s shaping up to have some actual — dare I say it? — layers. Let’s look at the evidence, shall we?

1) Fact the first: Jerry is sick with some mysterious ailment that gives him dizzy spells and makes him cough up blood a lot. (Kind of like Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge. But probably with less corsets. Although a girl can dream!)

2) Fact the second: He injected Joss and Alexis, two of the only people for whom he’s ever shown any true affection, with something mysterious while promising a comatose Alexis that he would “look after her.” And now they’re both getting sick.

3) Fact the third: Robin’s abduction seems like it had less to do with wanting to hurt her personally than it did with needing her out of the way for some reason.

So maybe he’s already been exposed? And being blackmailed for a cure? Or maybe he’s been inoculated too and this is what the first stage looks like? But he’s made sure Robin, who maybe could have found a cure, can’t interfere. And now he’s also ensuring that Alexis and Josslyn are safe and immune, even if it hurts them a little in the short term. (Of course, he’s not concerned with Joss’ mother or Alexis’ daughters, so not really heroic… but still kind of sweet? In a really creepy way?)

And, honestly, if getting Robin out of the way was the goal, it seems like it would have been a lot more simple to kill her for real than to stage an elaborate explosion to fake her death while keeping her captive  in a mental institution for months. Which means Jerry spared her at great personal inconvenience. Because she’s Jax’s friend? Or because whoever is paying him this time wants her alive? Too soon to tell, but for right now, I’m going with the Jerry is cruel to be kind explanation because I like it better.

All of which adds up to a Jerry who is much more interesting and three dimensional than before. So bring on Monkey Virus Part II: Electric Boogaloo! (Also, dear RC: bonus points if you bring Robert back to deal with this one too and let him help Anna save their little girl in the process.)


19 thoughts on “The world just got a little bit darker. And saner.

  1. How could Jason be there for his finally almost ex when she left him! she gave the man a few hours after dumping : the baby isn’t his but his not before known twin who happens to be a man that has stalked and terrorized him and his friends for yrs. and maybe raped his almost ex and made him almost watch. and how does she know this info, well her good friend john who also happens to be a cop that is trying to bring down jason’s friend and partner

    then SHE went to notell motel instead of her mother’s house or a hotel that her husband’s friend owns. and after giving birth instead of finding help at the notell motel or driving herself to the hospital, she took her newborn that she thought was having breathing trouble into the woods during a storm and when she found shelter she potted the newborn outside in the storm. and she hasn’t taken any responsibility for the kid’s death. i mean if she can wander around outside in the woods i think she could have driven to hospital or gone to the front office and asked for help, or knocked on doors.

    and after she was raped she refused to go to the dr. or to go into counseling.

    so yes jason could shoulder some of the blame but def. not all of it. he owns his crap, and seems to absolve her of hers. he was just doing his job and he didn’t know about her and the potted one b/c she didn’t bother to call him and let him know.

    • You know, if all of that were true (and you know it’s not), it would still not explain why Jason’s reaction to another man was to have him beaten and ordered to leave town. Even Carly told him that was an idiot move.

  2. Excellent recap and screencaps as usual, tenillypo.

    Julie, I’m just going to assume you’re kidding about all that ‘Sam not handling her rape properly and Jason’s rejection of her afterwards’ stuff.

  3. Great commentary, but I must admit after the Lante baby reveal I wasn’t paying attention to much else. Dom and Julie have played the whole thing perfectly and the writing has been spot on with lines like “Say something…Having a baby is a life changing holy crap”! While Dante had BEST EXPRESSION EVER. I love, love, love the whole thing and all the touches and kissing the tummy and I could go on and on. Pure vintage sweet, sexy adorable Lante. I too loved the visit with Luke, but I noticed the subtle shift. It was not just Lulu, but competent cop son-in-law questioning Luke. And when Luke spoke about loving his daughter, she moved not towards Luke but towards her husband and she took his hand. Brilliant direction by Frank V!

    • There were all sorts of nice parallels in those episodes — between Sam/Jason being torn apart by a baby and Dante/Lulu coming together over one, Heather’s deranged but sincere love for Steven Lars, and Luke talking about both his and Todd’s love for their children. Really nicely done, all around, writers.

  4. Speaking of Sonny, the “hey, I know the last time we tried to get married, you got shot at the alter, and then I left you to enter into a cold business deal marriage, which was one of the most abusive, disgusting marriages this show has ever seen, and then I tried to get with Olivia while that happened, and then I had an affair with random law enforcement official meant to take me down #43, and then I married Brenda, and then I tried to kill everyone, and then we hooked up a month later, and then your split personality tried to kill everyone, and you’re still not really done with therapy, but I think now is a great time to get married” proposal didn’t touch your heart? (It was actually a nicely done scene, if you take all the context out . . . .but seriously Sonny. I know it’s a soap, but surely even he can wait maybe another week or so?)

    • also I am pretty worried for Dante and Lulu’s baby what with the PANDEMIC anvils . . . but I really hope not cause seriously, writers, because you’ve practically killed off ALL THE CHILDRENZ.

    • I couldn’t pay attention to the Sonny/Kate scenes. I tried! But… no. Just can’t with those two. I appreciate that Sonny’s being written like less of an asshole lately, and I’ve come to appreciate Kelly Sullivan’s commitment to camp, but she is a year older than me, so the idea that she and Maurice Bernard could possibly have been high school age in the early 80s together is too hilarious for me to take seriously and their reminiscing always just has me rolling my eyes. Also, the fact that Sonny literally cannot be single for a year before rushing to the altar again. EYES ROLLED FOREVER.

  5. Another great synopsis. Well..ya kinda freaked me out with the Sam/Liz thingy :)… But OMG did I love the scenes where Dante (is he for real?-who cares) found out about being a Daddy. Lulu has come such a long way since her first pregnancy. They were both so realistic and funny discussing being prospective parents. I cannot wait to watch the continuation of her pregnancy (please Soap Gods be good!) I feel for JaSam. I also agree with you about Jason taking ownership about ditching his “rape” victim wife when she needed him. But we know it will be all hands on deck when Baby Morgan is found & revealed. I freakin cannot wait when the anvil hits Carly/Johnny/Todd. That’s gonna be good stuff =).

  6. My cold dead heart just couldnt muster up any feelings for the Jasam break-up. I tried to watch. I tried to sympathize but… was just irritating. My FF finger was twitching. It simply didnt make any sense to me. “Oh we have to get a divorce (kinda extreme imo) but can we still be bestes?” The whole thing annoyed me. He says he’ll do whatever he needs to do to make it work, counseling, whatever it takes, and yet Sam says ohhh no I could never do that too you. BUT I CAN DIVORCE YOU INSTEAD!! HUH?? Come on… Then Jason turns to leave like “okay, done, and doner,” and she grabs him and or calls him back TWICE. You obviously don’t want a divorce, so knock it off. I dunno…just irritating. I want McBam. Sam is so much livelier out of the Jason orbit. I was a Liasion fan, but I don’t want Liz to be his fallback either. Let both of these women find happiness elsewhere.

    Moving onto other awesome things… JERRY…Love. I too thought to myself, uh Jerry, your protecting Alexis but what about her THREE daughters, I don’t think she’ll appreciate the fact that you left them to die from soon impending pandemic. Killing off Carly, hey I can get on board with that though. I liked how he cooed and fawned over his niece, yet never let us (the viewers) forget that he was still the worst villain ever. LAYERS!!!! Wow..How novel.

    Todd rocks every single solitary scene he is in. I was devoted to OLTL back when RH was original Todd and I drifted when 2nd Todd/not really Todd/Victor Lord ruled the roost. Came back to viewing only after hearing of OLTL cancellation, so RH was always the only Todd for me. I love his addition to GH. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. His lines are hilarious (ad-libbed??) his expressions, his devotion to Starr and Blair, his self-loathing and self-awarenes…Loves him! So him plus Heather Webber has been awesome. I am not in full agreement though over her being able to manipulate him so easily, because Todd would have had her taken care of a LONG time ago, but they are so enjoyable to watch that I’ll swallow it.

    Dante and LuLu and happy pregnancy moments are wonderful. I think I’m in love with RC and FV. They have seriously made GH enjoyable (not just tolerable) BUT ENJOYABLE again. I like the return of Luke. Flawed anti-hero not the completely, utterly, incomprehensibly repulsive cad that he had become over the years. Ohh he was loathsome, now I can’t wait to see the hilarious reactions to Lulu’s news. I think it will be appropriately soapy (not detestable as in how he treated Lucky and his children). TG can still make my eyes water in a nanosecond and I DID NOT enjoy hating him.

    So happy the NLG is getting some love and attention (Shawn and Jerry) and screen time (her own stories and as a part of Sam’s. Can Diane come back (she got an honorable mention this week) and they can have hilarious over 40 (non menopausal) awesome “we are fabulous and we rock” moments again?

    • See, if I was Sam’s friend in real life (and, you know, if Jason wasn’t a freaking HIT MAN) I would probably have suggested she try a trial separation for at least a few months before going for the divorce. But I’m okay with them rushing it a bit for show purposes, since that frees both of them to pursue other relationships before the baby secret comes out. But also, the death of a child changes things. I didn’t think Sam’s waffling was unrealistic — she was pretty honest about where her headspace was: she still loves him, she WANTS things to go back to the way they were, but she knows they just can’t. There are some things you just can’t work through and this is one of them, no matter how desperate you are to hang on. *shrugs*

      I would love to see Diane again, but I think the actress is busy with other projects, sadly. Maybe we’ll get a cameo? But yes, I love seeing Alexis interacting with her family AND getting stories of her own — and stories in which she’s treated as desirable instead of the punchline of neurotic joke, at that.

  7. Oh yeah…sorry forgot to add this … I am so not looking forward to the fall sweeps baby reveal, because yes the writing is on the wall, all bets will be off. Once Jason finds out the paternity he will be hovering around Sam, staring longingly and lovingly at her and his new son… and all Liasion fans will go ballistic (again!!) over the blatant foul treatment and insulting replacement of Jake.

    I scream FOUL in advance!!!!

  8. You really didn’t like the encephalitis (aka monkey pox) out break story? I’m disappointed. I think it’s one of GH’s most underrated sweep’s stories. It’s one of my favorites because it was the beginning of Patrick and Robin, and we had board room scenes with Monica, Alan, Noah, Bobbie, and Tony. One of my favorite GH scenes of all time is Liz in the Chapel during the outbreak praying for Lucky. PLUS COURTNEY DIED!!! What’s not to like? I recommend a revisiting of the storyline on Youtube.

    • Well, it’s been a while, so my memories of the monkey virus story are not 100%, but the things that stand out most strongly are: 1) Courtney died (AWESOME), 2) Tony died (not awesome), 3) Robin found out Robert was alive, and the explanation was kind of character-destroying and the reunion kind of rushed and unsatisfying? 3) we had waaaay too many hilarious hijinks and shenanigans involving Luke (during one of his most unlikeable years) and a chimp, 4) Holly came back as a totally horrible pod-person, 5) Sam was insufferable to Alexis for not volunteering to die, basically.

      I think the Toxic Balls crisis was far and away the worst Big Sweeps Event the show has done. The MetroCourt hostage crisis is the one I consider the best, though even it wasn’t perfect. But the combo of feeling like the emotional fallout from Robin/Robert wasn’t handled well and destroying Holly for no reason really knocks the monkey virus down the list for me.

  9. A LANTE baby! Finally, a pregnancy I can be happy about. The whole JaSam pregnancy story was poorly hangled right from the start, just a week after Jake’s death it becomes OK to have a baby b/c of Jake being hit by a drunk driver? That’s Guza for you. I do want Sam to have her baby back, if Jason wants back I want him to beg. For once, I want him to lie in the bed he made, and not have all forgiven easily, and for Elizabeth to say something showing disapproval of what he did to McBain, but that will never happen. I’m not looking forward to the Liason/JaSam fan wars.

    So, I’ll take what I can get and enjoy the Lante pregnancy. Dante is so adorable. He and Lulu will be great parents.

  10. Guys! I need a place where I can comment on GH daily, and I just can’t stomach daytime confidential. Please update more frequently!! Or else….I’m going to end up wearing out your COMMENTS section…But I apologize for it in advance…Lol.

    Just finished watching 8/16/2012 show and ….JASON has keys to WYNDEMERE??? Since when???

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