You know that thing that’s been missing from all the previous, Guza-led Port Charles crises?
No, not logic or realism or a hero who isn’t Jason. I mean, yes all those things. But also: a sense of humor! Aside from dearly departed Anthony and his hand puppets, everyone in PC crises always takes their immanent deaths way too seriously, you know?
Thankfully, now we have Todd:
TODD: All right, we’ve done the easy part. Now we go save Port Charles.
The soup! The joke about not paying taxes! Being impressed with Tracy’s ability to do long division in her head! Oh, I love him so…
Okay, so nerd time: if Port Charles’ elite superhero force is assembling to save the town, Todd — as quip master general — is obviously Tony Stark. And Sonny’s habit of getting angry and throwing barware can only make him the Hulk. Tracy is Black Widow — both literally and figuratively. And Carly, the arrogant, statuesque blond whose plans always make everything worse, is clearly Thor. Johnny… has nice arms? I guess? Look the analogy isn’t perfect, okay? Anyway, he’s Hawkeye, the kind of useless one who’s only around to betray all the others.
Also, for comic relief:
JOHNNY: Yeah, you know that cash that we stashed in that place next to that thing where we buried that person? I need it. No, not all of it.
Then, there was this precious moment:
TODD: You do know where Jimmy Hoffa’s buried, don’t you?
SONNY: I’ll tell you later.
That glint in Maurice Bernard’s eyes there? Pure, old school, sparkly funny Sonny Corinthos. You cannot tell me he and Roger Howarth don’t enjoy the hell out of working together. I mean, you can, but I won’t believe you.
Seriously, pretty much everything about the first annual meeting of the Port Charles 1% Club was magic. This is what canvas-wide crises should be about! Bringing together unlikely bedfellows and forcing them to interact and work together!
Also, pretty people, sweating (and flirting) attractively:
Pop quiz: these two… hot? Or SO FREAKING HOT? I mean, really. It’s ridiculous how much I wanted them to make out while they were breaking into Luke’s safe.
Also, I love that there are hordes of panicky citizens looting and forming angry mobs. This is what I was looking for the other day and it’s perfect. And I love that even though Jason is, of course, waving his gun around and rushing to the rescue (more on that in a minute), there are actually multiple teams of people working on a solution — from Todd and the band gathering the ransom to Sam and McBain chasing down the Dead Man’s Hand to Jax trying to reason with his brother. Everyone’s invested and taking actions that actually make sense for their characters!
Which brings me to the squee portion of this post. Because the Liason scenes today? SO GOOD FOR ME, YOU GUYS:
I think poor Ewen was channeling every disgruntled viewer tired of the Saint Jasus show over the last decade:
EWEN: No! It’s always about Jason. I’m the one who’s going to get you the antidote. Not him! I can save you, okay? Only I can do that! […] Elizabeth, I can explain, okay? This isn’t about Jerry. It’s about Jason.You’re not going to love me, are you? Because it’s always going to be him!
Oh, Dr. Abs, it’s like you’ve watched this show before! Of course it was always going to be Jason.
Anyway, the whole thing was so old school and delightful, from the rescue to the hurt/comfort action in the aftermath. And then–and then!
JASON: You’re good at this.
ELIZABETH: Well, I’ve had enough experience. Remember that time you got shot?
JASON: [laughs] Yeah, which–which time?
ELIZABETH: The time I found you in that little chapel by the water front? When I took you back to my studio, I was so afraid you were going to bleed to death before I got you home.
JASON: So this is– well, how many times have you saved me?
ELIZABETH: Please. We both know who got saved today.
JASON: Well, you need to thank Spinelli. He took one listen to that call and was able to figure out where you were.
ELIZABETH: Well, I’ll be sure to thank him the next time I see him.
JASON: [seriously] You know–you know how I feel about you. I wasn’t going to let that bastard hurt you.
::sigh:: Was that good for you too?
I’m a happy girl right now, y’all. If Steve Burton’s departure means today is Liason’s swan song, then at least it was a damn good one. So many call backs! Such easy chemistry and affection! And then a serious speech about what Jason feels for her… Ah, memories:
JASON: When someone saves your life, when they find you in the snow and they drag you up and make you walk and bring you help when you told them not to, then make you drink gallons of soup, and when they lie to everyone they know, that’s more than friends. There’s no word what I feel for you.
Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff.