Oh, dear. Why do I have the sinking feeling that before Sabrina turns into a swan, she’s going to test every single on of my contact embarrassment limits?
On the upside, at least Friday’s embarrassment gave us Jason Thompson in a tuxedo, and that is a thing about which I will never complain:
Poor Patrick. His romantic options at the moment are Dr. Snotty Jerk and a woman who looks like a 12 year old and has the fantasies to match.
(The last time someone fantasized about Dr. Drake, you may recall it was a little less Downton Abbey and a little more Skinemax. My preferred version would probably involve a mix of both. HOT TUXEDO SEX. I’M JUST SAYIN’. Dear Sabrina: fantasize better.)
His relief at thinking he’d have to cancel his date with Dr. Snotty was both sweet and kind of sad:
PATRICK: It’s not a big deal. I was going to go have dinner with a colleague and get to know each other a little bit, and maybe you know, in a little bit of a bonus, find a new friend.
Oh, Patrick. It’s adorable that you think that woman is in any way interested in being your friend. SHE WANTS TO EAT YOU ALIVE. WITH HER VAGINA.
Anyway! In related news, Anna’s back! And she brought her 8 million blinding teeth!
JOHN: Welcome home.
ANNA: Oh, wow. Did you miss me.
ME: Yes! Never leave again!
She and McBain still have the best BFF chemistry and I love them. I also love that she is hot on Heather’s trail, along with half the town. I adore many things about Heather, but not least of which is her ability to pull everyone into a believable umbrella story.
Mostly, though, I’m just happy to see Anna free of Luke– at least for the moment — and ready to kick some ass and take some names. (Where is Luke supposed to be, though? Is he chasing after Robert and Ethan? Whatever, I’m just okay with him being gone for a while. Good timing, Tony Geary’s vacation!)
Meanwhile, his ex-wife is already backsliding on her anti-Joe Scully stance, and I just want to do a slow motion “noooooooo” while jumping in between them, because Tracy! You deserve so much better, girlfriend!
But more importantly, her confession of his accused misdeeds brought us this conversation with Monica:
MONICA: Why is that name so familiar?
TRACY: Ten years ago, his father — that would be Joe Scully Sr. — started to make inroads in Port Charles.
MONICA: Oh, yes. Yes. I remember. Luke and Lucy Coe had something to do with it.
Stop teasing me, RC! Not unless you really mean it! I mean, another Lucy Coe reference? I’m not trying to read too much into things here (I AM TOTALLY TRYING TO READ TOO MUCH INTO THINGS HERE) but we had a couple of AJ references not long ago and now Sean Kanan is on his way back to town. Coincidence?
Oh please, oh please, oh please let two Lucy Coe name drops in a month mean something good. (Dear RC: I will sacrifice anything you like to the god of soapy goodness to get Lynn Herring back on my tv screen.)
By the way, in case your memories — like mine — were a little fuzzy on how Luke and Lucy were involved with the original Joe Scully plot in the 90s, apparently it involved her conning him into stealing from Deception? For… reasons? I don’t know:
OH KEVIN. OH LUCY. OH SIGMUND. I CAN’T NOT LOVE ANY OF YOU. (However, I question the wisdom of bathing in the same water as one’s pet duck. Boundaries, Lucy! Boundaries and hygiene!)