Any distraction will do…

Okay, show. You got me. This good cop/bad cop routine with Britt and Sabrina? Totally working. I don’t care that it’s transparent and clichéd. I can work with both of those if something is fun for me. And I could use some fun right now.

So, my main complaint about Sabrina’s introduction was that her goofy crush antics make her seem way younger than she is. But it turns out that when she acts more like a grown up and starts relating to Patrick like he’s an actual human being instead of a god on high? I don’t hate it:

PATRICK: I should have prepared her better, you know — she just gets scared. And when she gets scared, she gets angry.
SABRINA: Oh God, I don’t blame her. She just misses her mom.
SABRINA: Listen, I think you’re a great dad. And there’s a reason why she called for you. She loves you. And as long as you just explain things to her, I’m sure she’ll understand.

I like that she’s a very different person that Robin in many ways. But more, I like that Patrick is a very different person than he was when he and Robin met. He’s off his game, and it’s refreshing. Smooth playboy Patrick would never have been oblivious to Sabrina’s interest (and would have bedded Britt already instead of awkwardly trying to be her friend). This is a Patrick who’s starting from a completely different place. He’s subdued and grieving still, focused on Emma, and conquests are really the furthest thing from his mind. I like romantic banter as much as the next girl, but arrogant pursuer Patrick was never really my favorite flavor, so I’m curious to see how that changes the dynamic as the story unfolds.

Side note: the little girl who plays Emma is KILLING ME with her cuteness this week. I didn’t think she had a setting other than smiling uncontrollably, but then she busts out this look:


… which, of course, is the correct and only response to watching THIS walk out the door, so good job, Ems:

You’re welcome.

ANYWAY. I’m not saying the Sabrina story is setting my world on fire or anything, but it’s no longer making me cringe quite as much. And given the unpleasant turn some of the other stories (WHY, ELIZABETH, WHY?) (more on that below) seem about to take, I could use something that’s light and comfortingly predictable.

Patrick, by the way, proved that my love for him was 100% justified by making this face when evil Britt evilly ordered a wine spritzer:


For that involuntary sneer alone, he would have earned the episode’s Best Facial Expression. But, you know… Konnie still exists in the world, so:

Oh, Kelly Sullivan. YOU COMPLETE ME.

But enough stalling. I’d like to continue pretending this isn’t actually a thing that’s happening, but it seems like it probably is. So I might as well get this rant out of the way. Let’s talk about Elizabeth and how much I hate everything about the way her story’s suddenly going!

First of all, if Liz is about to go batshit insane and mess with Sam’s baby’s DNA results in some sort of sad attempt to get Jason back, then someone forgot to tell Rebecca Herbst in this scene:

ELIZABETH: So if you’re right, then you get to actually place a baby back in Sam’s arms. I mean, you get to make that miracle happen? Oh my God. I wonder what that would be like to get back a child you thought you lost…
JASON: Elizabeth–
ELIZABETH: You need to get to the lab. I can help you.

She played Elizabeth’s joy and wistful sadness with perfect sincerity there. But yesterday, the ominous music and guilty looks as she handed over the wrong results were too much to ignore. I’m super afraid and displeased with where it looks like this is going.

Look, I get why it’s soapy, and why is might seem like a good idea on the surface to someone who isn’t as overly invested as I am in this character. But Liz fans have been shat on a lot in the last few years. She’s made one stupid decision and told one terrible lie after the other in the service of moving along plots that were clearly not concerned with what made sense for her from a character perspective. So it would be nice to see her get a story where she’s not the asshole for once. And as awful and self-serving as all of those paternity lies and affairs were, none of them were motivated by malice. All of them had, at their core, a misguided desire to protect someone she loved from harm.

This, if it turns out to be true? Will easily be the most horrible thing she’s ever done, and as hard as the writers are now working overtime to position her as desperate to get Jason back, there’s just no basis for her to be so willfully cruel. Maybe if she and Jason had already gotten back together and were on the verge of marriage or something, or if Jake’s death was visibly causing her to go a little crazy? I mean, it would still be awful, but I might actually believe her motivation. But she’s been working through her Jake grief fairly healthily, and she and Jason haven’t been together for years. Up until the last few weeks, she’s been the biggest cheerleader of saving his marriage to Sam!

So none of this tracks for me. And we’re left with the writers not only compromising Liz, but tarnishing a 15 year relationship that — for all its ups and downs — has never involved a betrayal of this magnitude before.

I think what really burns me is that all that nice Liason stuff during the water crisis — which I saw at the time as a lovely, kind of respectful nod to history and to a fanbase that was about to be disappointed with the Jason/Sam reunion writing on the wall — now looks like just a sloppy set up for Liz to turn into this pathetic creature. And with Steve Burton’s departure looming, there’s very little chance for her to make amends.

And hey — maybe this will work out differently than I’m fearing and I’ll eat my words! (Happily!) But even if the tampering comes out fairly quickly, it’ll leave a really sour taste in my mouth. Just… ugh. DO NOT WANT.

But I hate to end a post angry. So here, have some Alexis and Jax being absolutely awesome and adorable and just the bestest soap friends a girl could hope for:

ALEXIS: When did I become the woman of his life, anyway?
JAX: I don’t know. You’re the one that dated him. [teasing look] Maybe he never got over you. And I’m not surprised. Because you are an incredible woman, Alexis. I mean that. No, I really mean that. There’s no one that I would rather be in a marriage of convenience with.
ALEXIS: You’re the best husband that I ever had. And hands down, the best friend.

Substitute “romantic partner of any kind” for “husband” and… yup, still true. Which is kind of sad when you consider how long its been since Alexis and Jax were married, but also warms my heart because OMG, JUST GET MARRIED AGAIN, YOU TWO. Damn. You’re so perfect together.

I also enjoyed Carly ribbing Shawn about Jax and Alexis’ enduring connection and his obvious jealousy. (If I can’t have Jax in her life? This’ll do.) We can’t have Jax, of course, because Ingo Rademacher is out the door again. Thankfully the explanation this time is less tortured and stupid than that last one: Jax is simply going home to Australia to get a fresh start away from his failed marriage to Carly, but he’ll be back often for Joss.

And you know? That’s all I really need. Does it strain credulity that Jax wouldn’t stick around full time to be with the daughter with whom he’s already lost so much time? Well, yes. But as long as it’s clear he’s seeing her regularly off-screen, then I can accept it in the service of one less deadbeat parent because the actor isn’t on the show anymore.

In any case, Jax got a lovely goodbye with his best friend and a touching one with Carly that honored the importance of both women in his life — which is more than we got when he was presumed dead last time and Alexis barely seemed to notice. So long, Jax. Come back soon!


15 thoughts on “Any distraction will do…

  1. Tenillypo, good article, and you are the Queen of Screencaps! And Kelly Sullivan is priceless, lol. Even if I am very tired of her character and that whole DID arc.

    I’m very disappointed that they’ve gone in this direction with Elizabeth. It contradicts everything we’ve seen on screen since Jason and Sam reunited. Sam and Liz put their past behind them, and if not become besties, had at least found a good place with each other. I hope she gets a stab of conscience, (I think she will) and make this right before long. I think it’s going to take seeing that Jason is still devoted to Sam regardless that does it. Now RC, after you usher SBu out, let’s get Liz a serious love interest! She’s in her prime, and I’m tired of this beautiful, legacy character being alone all the time, or used merely as a plot device. Just cut that loose, please.

  2. I don’t know, GH looked so promising. What happened? Back to degrading Elizabeth for Jason, and having her moon over him, I’m so over that. I don’t have a problem with Patrick and Sabrina because at least it shows he’s moving on (please let this be a set up for Robin to return). I think this bit with Liz is enough to make me give up on GH once and for all. STOP RUINING HER!!
    Jax and Alexis? Yes, please! They deserve some happiness.

  3. I’ve seen even the most virulent Liz haters acknowledge this is wonky. So it’s not just you. (On that note, don’t go to RC’s twitter. Either he just does not get it or he refuses to acknowledge that, hey, he messed up a bit.)

    Poor RH/Liz has been totally screwed by all the backstage upheaval. I really do think back when Niz was happening, they were going to try to make Niz the root-for couple, although I don’t know if it would have worked, since they had no respect for GV. But then JJ came back, so then it turned around and Niz were sleazy after all. And then JJ left. But then they seemed to be going somewhere with Matt, but then RC came on and he wanted to do a quad so he wrote off Matt. But now SBu leaves and oops can’t do anything with that after all. It gives me whiplash.

    I’m all for Sonny hate but Connie wiping her face like she just caught cooties every time she kisses him is overplayed for me. (Okay, she probably did catch cooties, but still!)

    I think Alexis has only had two husbands, right? So not a hard bar to reach, heh, but I loved their scenes. Much much better exit scenes for Jax this time around (again, not that that’s a high bar to reach for but they were great.) Now if they could just have a quick word from Liz in between her OOC shenanigans about how she and Lucky have arranged something for the kids I’d be pleased.

    • I’ve dropped by his Twitter, but haven’t engaged. Honestly, I have a lot of sympathy for the crap he takes. No matter what he does, he’s guaranteed to have people screaming at him, and he still tried to engage people on a personal level. I (obviously) think he’s wrong about this one, but I can see how maybe someone who hasn’t been watching day in and day out for the last decade might not get why it’s so frustrating and out of character.

      I do wonder how different this might have played out if SBu wasn’t leaving. It really feels like they switched gears abruptly.

      I think Alexis has only had two husbands, right? So not a hard bar to reach

      Especially when the other one is Ric “sleep with your daughter while you’re dying from cancer” Lansing…

      • I think he said something (on twitter) about how it wouldn’t have played out this way, had Burton been staying. Which only further makes me believe Elizabeth has in fact switched the test, this is not a red herring, and she did it (solely) to be w/ Jason. What I don’t understand is why does RH have to be thrown under the bus (I know Ron hates that term, lol) whenever her love interest(s) leave? It JUST happened with Jonathan Jackson, and here we are not even a year later and the writers can’t think of anything better than to have her go BSC and do something completely despicable. I kind of bought it with Lucky mostly because RH was able to sell me on how desperate she was to keep him, and their family together. But with absolutely no build up this time around, I don’t know how I can do that.

        I wish someone could tweet Ron this post (I don’t have twitter) so he could truly see why this s/l route was so unnecessary, and probably the last straw for many Elizabeth fans. I’m sick of getting my hopes up w/ every regime change that I might get something better for my girl. She’s had too many years of a whole lot of nothing and, frankly, I don’t know why I bother anymore. With Robin gone the only other character I’m invested in is Alexis. And there’s just not enough story there to keep me watching.

        I think I may be done with GH…for now. I’ll keep checking your blog though to see if things improve. :)

  4. Gotta disagree with you about Liz. IMHO, this is totally IN her character to pull a stunt like this. She has made up her mind to get Jason back and if she has to alter a DNA test, so be it.

    • I don’t think Liz is above lying and scheming to get what she wants; however, deliberately allowing a mother to believe her child is dead is above and beyond. There is a difference between hiding your own child’s paternity to keep him safe and being complicit in the kidnapping of someone else’s in order to get a man. You can argue it’s just a difference of degrees, but they are still ENORMOUS degrees.

      • THIS. Not only has Liz lost a child, so there is no way she would allow that to happen, but she also had her child kidnapped and went bat shit on Sam for even knowing about it. This just makes absolutely no sense on so many levels. I can’t describe how much I hate this story.

  5. Carly would change a baby’s paternity in a heart beat, but not Liz. And yes, Liz hid Jake’s paternity but it was only to keep her baby safe and had nothing to do with another woman or that woman’s child. RC is writing Liz as being all cray cray like he did OLTL’s Marty last year and it sucks royally for RH/Liz fans.

  6. JJ left the show and GW wrote Liz as being manipulative and ending up in Shadybrook to get her man, and now RC is following in GW’s footsteps which is a really, really bad idea now that SBu is leaving the show.

    To be honest, I think RC was planning on using Liz as some cray cray like Marty in order to keep JaSam from reuniting once Sam’s baby was returned in 2013, but SBu upset the old apple cart by leaving the show, so we’re seeing the story but in a totally rushed manner.

    • He made an off-hand comment on twitter that if SBu wasn’t leaving, this probably wouldn’t have happened. So who knows.

  7. I absolutely love that a lot of long-time GH fans are really disappointed in the writing for Elizabeth. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. This GH fan is fed up and I’m handing in my fancard. I’ve been so disturbed with the writing the last couple of years, and to continue to hang on and continually be frustrated with something that’s supposed to be a release is just insane. Therefore, I’m voting with my remote.

  8. I’ve loved Jason and Sam together from day one, and Jason with Liz bores the crap out of me, but I’ve never disliked Liz. But now, suddenly, she’s man hungry enough to come between a mother and her baby (and, not knowing it, a father and his baby)? This is exactly the way Sam’s character was senselessly destroyed the first time she and Jason broke up. I hated it when they did it to Sam, and now I hate what they’re doing to Liz. Come on, Carlivati. You tell a great, fast-paced story, but you don’t need to make all the women act like they have DID.

    • Yeah, it was OOC and completely plot, rather than character-driven in both cases. That’s why I can get past what Sam did and why I’ll forgive Liz for this. But damn, RC. Poor form.

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