YOU GUYS–YOU GUYS! REVENGE IS BACK AND IT IS GLORIOUS.
1. I love that Emily went back to revenge school over the break. OF COURSE SHE DID. Revenge school seems to be doing good business? Fauxmanda has been given a crash course, and there’s a Mysterious British Dude hanging around who seems to be an alumnus with a revengey past of his own that he screwed up somehow. Iiiiiinteresting.
And… Takeda’s been recast? That was confusing. For the whole beginning scene, I thought there were now multiple Revenge Senseis participating in Emily’s education — like, maybe Takeda was her freshman adviser but now this guy was helping her with her vengeance dissertation?
But no. Still Takeda. Still handing out vague fortune cookie wisdom like, “it is not the ropes that bind her; it is her fear” and acting kind of shady. Good to know. (Primetime soaps should take a page from daytime and have an announcer voiceover when actors are changing, is all I’m saying.)
2. But let’s talk about the important stuff — like Nolan’s hair! Which I love! So short and svelte! Also: NOOOOOLAAAAAAAN! (Sorry, I just missed him. It’s been a long week and a half.)
Anyway, my tv boyfriend spent his break attending Stop-Getting-Kidnapped-So-Much-School. (We’ll see how that works out for him.) Shockingly, his Episode’s Best Outfit involved no popped collars, layered polo shirts, bow ties, matched pocket squares, or multiple patterns:
Looking good, Ross. Looking good. (Also, his little FACE and the way it lights up when he hears Em’s voice! OH MY HEART.)
I am, however, also very fond of the jaunty, patriotic little number he wore during his enthusiastic reunion with his best boycrush:
Oh, sorry. You can’t see the outfit at all in that picture? That’s because Nolan’s too busy SNIFFING JACK’S NECK like a big, goofy puppy. (Nolan, Nolan, Nolan… you just ‘ship Emily and Jack together because you’re love with both of them, don’t you?)
I certainly hope we’ll be seeing more of his stripped bathrobe and comfy looking PJs now that he and Ems ARE TOTES ROOMIES and can have ACTUAL REVENGE SLUMBER PARTIES where they braid each other’s hair and watch spy cam feeds together. Emily is living my dream, y’all. Well, except for the whole dead father/evil syndicate trying to kill her/mother locked away for years thing.
In other Nolan news, he also gets best line of the episode, re: “dead” Victoria: “Creepy. You think she’s somewhere looking… up at us?” Hah!
Hey, speaking of…
3. VICTORIA LIVES! And she’s working with the white haired man! I… wow. I mean, I was expecting her to be alive somehow, but I didn’t think we’d know for sure in the first half hour. WELL PLAYED, SHOW.
So, the government story is a complete lie, I’m assuming? Everyone else on the plane really died, but White Hair — who seriously needs a name, by the way — somehow warned Victoria and got her off in time? And why? What does he have to gain? Why is he keeping Emily’s true identity secret still? SO MANY QUESTIONS?
I love that she told Charlotte she was alive, and that Charlotte instinctively ran to Emily in a time of need. Lord knows her brother — whose wish-washy uselessness continues — is no help. I can’t tell if he knows his father knew the plane would crash or not. I think not? But how can he not have figured that out? God, Daniel is such a pretty block of wood.
Conrad gaslighting his own daughter to make a grab for the money he believes she’s inheriting from the wife he had killed? That’s cold, man.
(Charlotte, by the way, improves immeasurable when her story doesn’t involve Declan. And vice versa. Let’s keep that up, show. More secret sister bonding and less star-crossed Zzzzzzzzz… sorry, I just fell asleep contemplating how much I don’t care about Charlotte and Declan’s romantic drama.)
4. We still don’t know much about Emily’s mom, other than Victoria and the White Haired Man’s employers may have had her institutionalized and then disappeared, and that Em’s father knew she was alive long after Emily thought she was dead. DUN!
5. Let’s see, what else? OH YEAH. Three months from now, a bomb’s going off on Jack’s boat, and there’s at least one body in the wreckage. You know, NO BIG.
Also: CLAM CAM. (Yeah. That happened.)