It’s the most wonderful time of the year, you guys! Time for new Vampire Diaries!! And it’s been such a long, long, painful wait. I need me some Damon hotness, peeps! So to get us all in the mood, I decided to do a short recap of the important parts of last season.
I have no idea what’s going on in this photo, but I like it.
Damon was hot.
Caroline and Tyler did the nasty.
Stefan moped (Oh yeah, and killed Andie. You, know. NO BIG DEAL.).
Klaus threw some stuff.
Stefan moped, some more.
Caroline got kidnapped by Mama Tyler and tortured by her daddy.
Elena and Damon tracked Stefan to Chicago.
Stefan kept a killing wall list. Ew.
Damon and Elena flirted.
Damon killed Alaric. But only slightly!
So Caroline kicked his ass. And it was superb.
Alaric and Damon were bestest boyfriends.
Klaus wished he and Stefan were bestest boyfriends.
Klaus dragged Stefan back to Mystic falls, discovered Elena was alive, went batshit insane about it, threatened all Elena’s friends, made Tyler drink his blood, and tried to force Bonnie to find a way to make his precious baby hybrids. Wah.
Matt saw dead people too. The dead people were somehow talking to the original witch?
Damon told Klaus that Mikael is coming and he hauled ass out of town.
Tyler became a hybrid.
Stefan stayed to demonstrate how much more awesome he is as evil!Stefan. Yays!!
Evil!Stefan snarked and it was oh, so wonderful.
Ghost Vicki tried to kill Elena. Boo.
Ghost Mason kicked Damon’s ass.
Jeremy cheated on Bonny with his dead ex-girlfriend. Lame, Jeremy. Lame.
Damon and Alaric had (another) lover’s spat, but then they made up.
Mikael the Vampire Vampire hunter showed up and it was awesome.
Klaus peed his pants.
Damon and Elena panted after one another.
And it somehow happened at Tyler’s house because he was all brainwashed because of his sire bond.
Tyler injected Caroline to “protect” her. Not cool.
Mikael threatened Elena to try to get Klaus, but she turned out to be Katherine. Dun!
Klaus totally staked Mikael with the original-killing stake and he burst into flames. (It was surprisingly easy for them to kill Mikael considering all the drama around him, show.)
Stefan’s response to all of this: he stole all of Klaus’ precious coffins! And put them in the creepy witch house. *shudders*
Tyler kept being creepily loyal to Klaus.
Klaus mummy-freezed, i.e. daggered, Rebekah.
Damon and Elena had a hot kiss.
Damon brainwashed Jeremy again and sent him out of town.
Alaric’s ring didn’t fully heal him, so Damon gave him some blood. Now they are connected 4-EVA!
Klaus continued to threaten people to try to get his family back.
Tyler couldn’t fight his sire bond and bit Caroline. Oh noes!
But Klaus gave her his blood and she healed and they were kind of sweet together. (What? I can’t help it!)
Someone killed random douche doctor, who once dated the new doc, Meredith Fells.
Caroline’s dad came back to town to help Tyler fight his sire bond. Awww.
Bonnie’s mom totally sucked and kidnapped Bonnie because Klaus had gotten to her first.
But then she had a turn of heart and helps the gang. She also promised to get her magic back to help Bonnie.
Meredith attacked Damon (pretty unsuccessfully, I might add) and revealed that she uses vampire blood to heal patients. More foreshadowing!!
Stefan started to care again, which is booooorrrrrriiiing.
Someone stabbed Caroline’s father while he had vampire blood in his system, but he decided not to become a vamp and it was incredibly sad.
And Alaric got stabbed by a mysterious someone, but camesback to life and didn’t remember who it was. Dun! (Hint: it was somehow him? JUST GO WITH IT)
All the originals woke the eff up! Including their dead witch mom!
Klaus crushed on Caroline, which was kind of weird and cute at the same time.
All the couples danced, and angst ensued. I love how they can have formal parties in the midst of the murder and mayhem!
Oh yeah, and Esther wanted to kill all the originals. Dun, dun, dun!
Then Damon self destructed… inside Rebekah. Ew.
Elijah thought he teamed up with Elena, but Elena teamed up with Esther. So many alliances and deceptions!
Esther had linked the original siblings so if one was daggered, they all would be daggered.
Klaus threatened to kill Elena if they didn’t kill one of the witches who was tying Esther to their world. So Damon killed Bonnie’s mom after feeding her his blood. Eff.
So Esther just… disappeared?
Meredith shot Alaric. Jesus, he died a lot this season. Moooore foreshadowing!!!
She said she shot him because he was the one killing all the council members. Flashback to the past where the same thing happened, and it was a council member who had an invincibility ring, just like Alaric. Uh-oh.
Bonnie’s mom turned into a vampire.
Sage, the saucy foxy boxing vampire from the flashback episode, lurved original Finn and just so happened to return to Mystical Falls.
Alaric’s evil side started to visit for longer amounts of time and tried to kill Meredith.
Rebekah, Damon, and Sage had a threesome and Sage somehow read Rebekah’s mind. Or something.
Rebekah, pissed at Damon for using her, tortured his ass.
Klaus threatened Bonnie again to try to get her to break the original bond.
Sage tried to get revenge for Finn’s death, but instead went up in flames herself, because if an original dies, all their progeny die too. Yikes.
Jeremy’s only new friend turned out to be douchey Kol.
Rebekah still went to school and helped plan dances? Uh… okay.
Damon and Elena did some serious eye-fucking and hand porn that culminated in a super awesome make out session.
Esther showed up again somehow and stole Rebekah’s body so she could try to kill her children. Again. Some more.
Alaric tried to die and not become a vamp, but Esther intervened. Double nooeeess!
They learned if Elena died, Alaric the vampire died too.
Bonnie and her mom put Klaus under the desiccation spell.
Elena passed out from a head injury and went to the hospital where Meredith secretly gave her vampire blood.
Alaric staked Klaus!
Except Klaus actually took over Tyler’s body!
Rebekah ran Matt and Elena off the road!
A flashback shows us that Damon actually met Elena first!
Elena freaking died!
Alaric died too!
Alaric became a ghost! *sob*
So now that our memory is refreshed, let’s take a look at what’s in store for us on Thursday, shall we?