And he comes bearing a shiny new retcon, complete with shiny new fake flashbacks! Monica spiriting AJ out of the country to save his life has long been a favorite fan fantasy in certain corners of the internet, so I can’t complain about RC making it a reality, even if that explanation involves an inspirational speech about THE POWER OF LOVE bringing him back to life, Alan never being told his son was alive, or… more Steve on my tv screen.
(Steve: already the worst boyfriend, and now bucking for that always hotly contested Worst Doctor Award as well!)
MONICA: I just didn’t think I was going to be able to hug you again.
AJ: You mean after I… died?
MONICA: Don’t say that.
AJ: It just–it sounds crazy when I say it out loud, you know? It–it’s like it all happened to somebody else.
(Funny! I feel like all that happened to someone else, too! Maybe someone much shorter… with darker hair? And a smaller neck?)
Seriously, though, I know I’ve been talking about neck sizes a lot lately, but it’s weird how Sean Kanan and Steve Burton both managed go from tiny to GIGANTIC necks at the same time, right? I mean, look! Look how small they both used to be:
ANYWAY. It’s not like AJ was ever even a character I liked very much — but the hack job they did on him leading up to his “death” was just so terrible, and the decimation of the Quartermaines has just been so depressing, and basically anything that helps ameliorate either of those two things is guaranteed to make me happy. Plus, I would like Monica to be a little less alone, because the thought of just her and Tracy bumming around that empty mansion is too sad to contemplate.
Meanwhile, across town, Sonny also took some time to reminisce about AJ. His account left out some crucial, meathook-related details. But it was also mostly accurate. Not to mention somewhat hilariously on the nose:
SONNY: Even before the accident, Jason was never spoiled, didn’t act like some rich kid who felt like he was entitled. But AJ just–he thought the whole world owed him a favor. He was smart, he had some power. But he never would take responsibility for anything.
Yes, Michael wouldn’t know anything about what it’s like to be an arrogant, entitled brat with too much money, a hunger for power, and an inability to take responsibility for anything. That apple sure fell far from the tree! How can he and AJ possibly relate to each other, being so completely different?
More shockingly, Sonny also admitted that Michael’s chances of having been shot in the head or raped in prison would have been somewhat less had he been raised a Quartermaine, which is a revelation only about 15 years too late, but I’ll take it. Sonny: showing compassionate understanding for Monica and self-awareness that the mob isn’t in fact better for kids than being a snob? What is the world coming to?