You know, the show’s been namedropping Lucy for months and I was almost too scared to hope it meant what I wanted it to mean. But… it looks like all those virgin sacrifices to the soap gods have paid off? (Finally. Do you know how hard it is to find credible virgins any more?)
OH EM GEE, YOU GUYS. They’re really going there! Like, for really reals! With Lynn Herring on board and everything! Not to be overly dramatic, but… I AM SO EXCITED I COULD DIE.
SABRINA: This looks like so much fun. All these people coming together for such a great cause.
EMMA: I told you! Nurses are nice!
SABRINA: I wonder why they don’t do it anymore.
EMMA: Me too.
ME: Because Bob Guza hates joy. And Christmas. And possibly puppies.
You may remember that both of us here at the blog pretty much love the Nurses’ Ball unreasonably? And that resurrecting the tradition even in a parred down, more budget-friendly form has been one of our biggest wishes for pretty much the last ten years? So even though this all but guarantees a bunch of Starr and (shudder) Steve singing, it’s still just about the best news since sliced bread.
(Also, who do I have to shank to get a big, leather bound book of Nurses’ Ball memorabilia like that one?) (And… didn’t it run from 1994 to 2001, not 2000? WHATEVER. Details, schmetails!)
And as if that wasn’t enough, we got AJ laying out some Capital T truth for Michael in basically the scene many people have been waiting for since the day Carly drugged him and dumped him in the that alley. (Note that the original impetus for keeping AJ from knowing he was the father was not to protect Michael from his horrible influence but to protect Carly’s relationship with Tony.) (Classy!)
Anyway, AJ let it all out: the fake relapse, the meathook, everything:
MICHAEL: You think you can spew out all this garbage and turn me against my father? I grew up with him. I know he loves me.
AJ: You grew up with Sonny as your father because Carly would never accept me as your father. Michael, she was so worried that I would find out she was pregnant with–you know what she did to me? She drugged me, and she dropped me off in an alley like a piece of trash. And then she doused me with alcohol so that I would think I drank again.
MICHAEL: Maybe you got drunk, passed out and decided to blame it on my mother.
AJ: No, Michael, no. I was in rehab. I was committed to staying sober. The only mistake that I made was telling Carly that if I did fall off the wagon again, I’d go to rehab out of state, and I’d never come back to Port Charles. Well, that’s all she needed to hear. I mean, she never wanted me to know that I was your father. As a matter of fact, she wanted me the hell out of there so she could pass you off as Tony Jones’. And when that didn’t work, she passed you of as Jason’s.
MICHAEL: Jason was helping my mom hold onto me when you tried to take me away from her.
AJ: She tried to take you first.
I don’t smoke, but I kind of wanted a cigarette afterward? Because daaaaaamn, that was satisfying.
And even though most of the things they were discussing happened while Billy Warlock was in the role, I honestly can’t picture this conversation having quite the same power if he was the one they’d brought back. Sean Kanan just works the right mixture of entitlement and self-loathing, guilt and self-righteousness. I cannot wait to see him and Laura Wright mix it up on Monday.
On top of all that excitement, we also got the whole town decked out for Halloween, ranging from the adorable (Emma), to the ridiculous (Spinelli), to the perfect (Dante), to the terrifying (Britt), to the mortifying (Sabrina), to the dead sexy (Anna), to the merely implausible (AJ… wearing the same costume he last donned as a 12 year old. BECAUSE SURE, I BET THAT WOULD STILL FIT).
Which obviously calls for more picspam, special Halloween edition:
(Grim reaper AJ pervily spying on his son making sex plans with his girlfriend? Hilarious and disturbing!)
So now that we know the soap gods do accept sacrifices for making impossible dreams come true, what should we ask for next — Genie Francis on full contract? Confirmation that Brenda’s last return was all just a bad fever dream? A Robert Scorpio and Helena Cassadine return? (Oh, wait, that last one’s already coming true. Thank you, soap gods!)