I’m sorry, but aren’t sweeps over now? Doesn’t that usually mean the exciting things stop happening and we all tread water for a few months until the next big stunt? So why — on a random Monday, mid-December — is everything BLOWING MY MIND?
I mean, wow. Just–wow. You know something is working when the on screen reunion of a couple who existed entirely before your time can still give you the shivers. But how could it not when the tension of seeing Anna with fake!Duke while real!Duke languishes in captivity has been building for so long?
Also Anna! Juggling horrified rage and desperation and protectiveness and generally making me worship at her feet with faces like these at the sight of her greatest enemy and her greatest love in the same room:
(Finola Hughes! How is she so good? And how was she so wasted for so long?)
And then real!Duke, who responded to the sight of Anna with completely anguished faces like these:
…before using what he thought were his last words to desperately tell her unconscious body he loved her. THEY ARE SERIOUSLY KILLING ME WITH THIS STUFF.
Special shout out to Anders Hove, whose Faison is still as creepy and fun as he was 20 years ago. (That line when he tells her to shut up when he’s talking to her? Legitimately scary! But then when he was sitting casually next to her comatose body, chatting about how terrible Luke is and I just wanted to give him a high five, because: WORD.)
I cannot wait to see what happens next with this. Like, really. Why isn’t tomorrow now, you guys? WHY?
Elsewhere, Starr used her years of soap experience to lay out some Psych 101 for Michael, and I never want these two to break up if it means they stop having heart-to-hearts about their equally messed up childhoods with their equally megalomaniacal criminal fathers:
STARR: You can’t change Sonny any more than I can change my dad. But you can set boundaries for yourself.
MICHAEL: Boundaries. You know, my dad’s not very good at respecting boundaries. Not mine or anyone else’s.
STARR: You know what you should do? You should tell your dad that you still think of him as the man that is your father. Right? That would maybe help him out a bit. People like Sonny and my dad, they’re very powerful, but they’re still weak at the same time, and I–my dad needs to know that we love him, or else he just falls apart, and I think that Sonny is the same way.
That one speech just put more thought into characterization than the last ten years of writing combined.
Of course, while all that was happening, AJ was attempting to be the better man… until an opportunity to make Sonny look bad in front of Michael presented itself. Which, again, is not hard because Sonny is still the worst. I love everything about this, y’all. TEAM AJ FOREVER!
(Well, Team-All-Michael’s-Terrible-Parents-Reluctantly-Get-Along-For-His-Sake, but I’m sure we’re heading toward that eventually. I want AJ to win a little first, though!)
Oh, and also we got a Jagger Cates shout out and more Lucy Coe talk — including the story of the red wedding dress, the infamous strip tease, and her love of Mother Quartermaine! As well as the news that she’s still (Coe Co.!) in the cosmetics business! And since that last came courtesy of the first non-straight character on this show since Lucas vanished without a trace how many years ago? My cup runneth over with this show. Truly.