Seriously, I know I should be enjoying Todd’s chickens coming home to roost, but the fact that so many of his recent decisions have felt so out of character makes it kind of hard.
STARR: I feel so sorry for Trey. My dad may be crazy, but at least he always put me first.
That was supposed to be the big “ouch” irony moment, but the thing is? She’s right. Todd may be a lot of things, but Lord, does he love Starr. And he loved Hope too. And I’ve never believed that he wouldn’t have thrown himself to the wolves for either of them in a heartbeat.
(It was also a little strange that all these big baby swap revelations were coming out without Sam present. It’s not like it would have been hard to contrive a reason for her to wander in, either, given her sister’s painful attempts to emote just down the hall.)
Meanwhile, Carly’s priorities remain typically hilarious:
CARLY: Not once did I ask you to be a good person! I was married to a mobster, my best friend killed people for a living. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a hypocrite. [Ed. note: pause for the sound of hysterical laughter] I know people do stupid things, and they make stupid mistakes. Hell, I’ve made plenty. You lied to my face!
Killing people for a living? Stealing a baby? Just a stupid mistake. Could happen to anyone! Lying to Carly? UNFORGIVABLE OFFENSE.
(Also, trying to pretend she would have been A-okay with Todd having stolen the holy one’s baby? AHAHAHAHA. Thanks, Carly. I needed that laugh.)
I was really hoping that someone would point out to Johnny that admitting he knew Sam’s baby was alive the whole time and didn’t say anything to anyone — before he started blackmailing Todd, even! — doesn’t exactly move him to the higher moral ground of this story. I have a feeling I’ll be waiting as long for that as I will for someone other than Sonny (Sonny!) to remember that Kate and Konnie are the same effing person:
MICHAEL: For the record, you’re not feeling sorry for yourself, you’re feeling sorry for Connie. When you shouldn’t.
STARR: I can’t regret almost killing someone, Michael?
MICHAEL: You know, maybe that part of it, you can. But what about the rest of it? We were only out on that road tonight because Connie knocked you out, kidnapped Johnny, hit Ellie with her car. I mean, that’s not even the worst of it — she helped Johnny get away with what he did to Cole and Hope. She lied for him. She basically used her D.I.D. diagnosis as a get out of jail free card. She may not be as guilty as Johnny, but she’s close.
STARR: You’re right. Knowing Johnny was responsible and covering it up. It’s almost just as unforgivable.
You know what else Konnie is, you guys? NOT A REAL PERSON. So yeah, she does have a get out of jail free card, and she isn’t as unforgivable as the man who raped her, helped perpetuate her mental illness by letting her believe she’d murdered two people, and then deliberately denied her actual loved ones the ability to get her treatment. JUST SAYING.
I do want to give the writers credit: this Johnny/Konnie/Todd stuff may be my least favorite of the show’s on-going plots, but it’s a story that’s been building for the better part of a year, and the relief of Johnny finally getting to come clean (followed by the LOLarious montage of all his previous failed attempts) and all Todd’s secrets coming out after all that time has actually been well-earned.
Or maybe that’s just the relief I’m feeling at the thought of this story finally (dare I hope?) moving on.