Five Things About Revenge: “Collusion”

1. Raise your hand if you would totally be up for an entire episode that takes place during a murder mystery party at Nolan’s new house. Best episode ever or BEST EPISODE EVER? (Just saying, writers: think about it!)

Anyway, hell hath no fury like a Nolan scorned, and I’m so happy to see him aware of Padma’s treachery and already taking steps to entrap her. (With Emily’s help!) I mean, she’ll probably have a change of heart at the last minute and and die in his arms after betraying the Initiative for him, which will BREAK HIM EVEN MORE. But for now I’m just content to just sit back and watch him set his phasers to kill.

Nolan learns the truth

(Does anyone else have bad Buffy flashbacks every time someone wonders what the Initiative’s true plan is? I keep wanting to yell, “They’re obviously collecting demons in an underground facility and conducting medical experiments on them in an promising but ultimately unfulfilling plotline that will never really live up to its true potential!”) (No? Just me?)

2. So, that Victoria/Emily alliance was short lived, huh? There are so many lies flying around, it’s hard to keep track of who really knows what, but from Victoria’s point of view, why exactly did she really think Emily would go along with her plan to sabotage Daniel? Her only stated reasons were basically THIS DEAL WILL DESTROY HIM AND NO I WON’T TELL YOU WHY.

(Daniel pretending he was in on the ruse all along was hilarious, because come on, Daniel. You couldn’t spot a con if it was an air raid siren blasting DANIEL GRAYSON IS A DOOR KNOB 24 hours a day. Let’s not kid ourselves here.)

3. Poor Ems. Aiden’s sudden but inevitable betrayal at the end left her looking as lost as I’ve ever seen her:

Emily lost

I’m still not entirely sure that his sister was either: 1) ever still really alive, or 2) now really dead. But clearly, only badness can follow him believing it and blaming her.

4. I love that Charlotte’s first “adult” decision is typically childish and petty. Oh, Charlotte. You have so many legitimate reasons to hate your family, and yet I still find your attempts to get back at them so tiresome.

5. So now Conrad owns Jack’s bar and is planning to collude (I see what you did there, writers!) with Sam Anders to turn the docks into a giant casino because somehow becoming partners with the organized crime element and destroying local businesses will make the voters love him. O…kay? SEE, JACK. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE LET NOLAN HANDLE THINGS. I bet he would have bought the bar and given it to you free in clear in exchange for a contract promising you’d be his BFF for life.

Anyway, I still don’t really care of any of this, obviously, but I do need Declan to stop being such a snot about it all. You know, since his idiotic decision to become a BURGLER is the reason any of it was possible. Shut up, Declan.

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