Guys! This episode brought back some of our characters’ likability! I’m so happy! (Kind of!)
Previously on Vampire Diaries: Every character was obnoxious and I hated them forever.
We open on Stefan attempting a walk of shame away from Rebekah only to be caught by Klaus. Oops. Klaus is there to warn them that Kol has his daggers and wants the one Rebekah has. She rightly couldn’t give a crap. Klaus tells Stefan that he needs his help daggering Kol to keep him from ruining their chance at getting the cure. He also mentions that once Kol is daggered, Damon won’t be compelled anymore. Okay, really show? Now you are definitely just making up shit for convenience.
And again, in case you forgot these kids are still supposed to be in high school, they are having another dance. This time it’s the 80s! Bonnie is alone blowing up 99 red balloons because Elena is babysitting Matt and Jeremy… who are training by playing video games. Heh. Elena shares her plan about killing Kol with Bonnie. Yes, guys. Do that, please.
While talking to Bonnie, Elena turns on the sink and the water ends up burning her. In the words of Tenillypo, seems like someone realized they could mail order vervain. Amazon does carry pretty much everything these days… Bonnie is pissed that her Dad put vervain in the water and cancelled all town events. Okay, the curfew thing is annoying, but isn’t vervain in the water just common sense? I get that this has more to do with her daddy issues than his tactics, but still. Bonnie, don’t be a brat.
Kol conveniently shoots out of nowhere to tell us that no one can get the cure if Bonnie can’t help them find it. You know, if she’s dead. Bonnie isn’t having this BS and goes all Dark Willow on Kol’s ass to bust his brains along with some of those red balloons. This freaks even her own self out, so she runs away.
Meanwhile, Stefan is visiting Damon in his cell. Damon tries to convince his brother to let him go, but Stefan just throws him a single vial of blood. Looks like they’re still trying to keep him weak so he won’t go all homicidal on Jeremy. And Klaus is there to babysit Damon while Stefan gets the dagger from Rebekah. He also casually reveals Stefan’s one night stand. Damon seems pleased with his brother’s deviant behavior.
Elena calls Stefan to tell him about Kol’s attempt on Bonnie’s life, and fills him in on the kill Kol plan. She says that Bonnie can hold him with her scary powers so Jeremy can kill him. Since killing Kol will kill his entire line, this will finish his hunter’s mark. Easy peasy! One teeny tiny thing — Klaus and Rebekah are bound to go postal on their asses if they kill Kol. So Elena says that Stefan needs to dagger Rebekah to get her out of the way. What about Klaus, you may ask? Oh, apparently Bonnie can take care of him temporarily. Uh, sure. That will work. He doesn’t hold a grudge or anything. It isn’t like he already kills people whenever the whim strikes him. Morons.
Anyway, Stefan can’t use the dagger, so Elena wants Matt to do it. Great. Let’s put Matt in danger yet again! Thanks, jerks.
It seems Kol also remembers he was once pretty much Jeremy’s only friend, because he answers his phone with a quip about the batting cages when he sees Jeremy’s number come up. Except it’s actually Elena who’s calling! She tells him that she needs to talk to him to call a truce. Kol shows up at their house instantly, demanding to be invited in. Elena points out how stupid that would be. For the love of all that’s holy, DON’T INVITE KOL IN!! Somehow he convinces her to do so. I have no idea why. Anyway, Jeremy invites Kol in and then instantly leaves. Uh, this is dumb. This is just like when the people in horror movies run upstairs when they are being chased instead of running outside. Just go out on the porch, Elena!!
Meanwhile, Rebekah is getting ready for the decade dance, because OF COURSE SHE IS. Stefan tries to work Rebekah, but seems to be enjoying his time with her. Is that life in his eyes? For some reason I don’t hate Stefan when he is around her. He asks her the burning question we all want to know, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE HIGH SCHOOL DANCES? She says she is bored. Oh, whatever. And they decide to go anyway, despite it being cancelled.
Back at the dungeon, Klaus and Damon are pointing fingers at each other over whose fault it is that Jeremy hasn’t completed his mark yet. Oh, wah, guys. You are both asshats! Let’s move on. Klaus needles him about how he continually gets Elena to forgive him for his bad behavior. (Uh, because she has no free will? No, that’s just silly.) But it’s clear he is actually talking about Caroline. Oh, for the love of Christ, Klaus! Stop killing innocent people! Simple as that, you prick!
Damon essentially points this out. He also says he is bad for good reasons, which I think is debatable, but Klaus just does it to be a dick — which, true. Klaus doesn’t think so and I guess it is good for them to both acknowledge their flaws, but seriously, they need to stop doing such awful crap, show, if you want me to like them. I mean it.
Kol hangs out playing video games at the Gilberts’ because he has nothing better to do. Bonnie is nowhere to be found, so Elena tries to distract him with some bonding, but he seems wise to her less-than-sneaky ways. He also waxes poetic about people losing faith and blah, blah, blah, what is it about the Mikaelson’s loving the sound of their own voices?
Anyway, he suddenly decides to leave in a creepy way and says he will consider the truce. Meanwhile, Jeremy is going to look for Bonnie, but she has been derailed by her father. He is trying to protect her by holding a family meeting — including her vampire mom! Uh-oh. Bonnie again pulls out her crazy mojo and Jeremy goes all hunter on Bonnie’s mom. Oops. Bonnie sends him on his way while she deals with her suddenly not-so-absentee parents. The family meeting is actually a magic intervention. They are worried about Bonnie and from what I can see, it is for good reason. It does make you wonder why none of her friends are more freaked out about this, but I digress. She tells her mom about the cure and says she needs the magic for it. Bonnie tries to walk out, but her parents knock her out. Dun!
Meanwhile… Rebekah and Stefan are at the dance. Matt is stalking around in the shadows trying to help Stefan dagger Rebekah. Stefan makes a Lloyd Dobbler reference. Damn it! How did he know that is my kryptonite? It literally was how my husband got me to fall in love with him. In any event, it instantly makes me feel warmer toward Stefan. And he clearly liked the 80s, which was also, like, my favorite decade. What is happening? Is it possible that I like Stefan right now? Maybe. But it’s also possible I am just reacting to all this 80s music.
Klaus and Damon continue to measure their manhood — or evilhood, rather — against one another. He pushes the Stefan and Elena button yet again. Okay, fine, show. We get it! Elena and Stefan 4-eva!
Jeremy comes home, but when Elena explains that she couldn’t keep Kol there any longer, the latter reveals he was just waiting and listening outside. Oops! He breaks down the door and goes after them. (See! I told you guys! DO NOT INVITE KOL IN!!) Kol takes time out of terrorizing the Gilberts to call Klaus and yell about the plan to kill him. Kol thinks Klaus is in on it. (He clearly is not.) Klaus tries to torture the info out of Damon, but he doesn’t know anything because he’s been jailed all episode. Heh.
Back at the dance, Rebekah agree with me that Stefan is weirdly fun right now. He says the 80s remind him of Lexi. Stefan sharing his intimate thoughts somehow gets Rebekah to share the location of the dagger, which she is keeping in her boot. So Stefan then tries to get her to take her shoes off so they can run and slide like in The Breakfast Club. Weak, Stefan. Rebekah calls him on it, but gives him the dagger anyway. She finally explains that she likes dances and all the other foolish high school things because she wants to be human and have a prom and love and children in her life.
That was strangely satisfying. I’m not saying that her high school obsession isn’t still annoying, but at least she has a point of view now. Weird. I’m really liking Rebekah too at this moment. Anyway, she tells Stefan that she is willing to help him put down Kol so that they can find the cure.
Meanwhile, of course the Gilberts ran upstairs when trying to get away from Kol. SERIOUSLY, GUYS? IT’S LIKE YOU WANT ME TO MOCK YOU. Jeremy shoots some arrows at him that completely miss, so Elena pulls out an effing gun. Uh, is that at all effective against an original? Turns out that it kind of is, at least for a moment. But Kol recovers fast enough to impale Elena with their stair railing and drag Jeremy downstairs to remove his arms. Gross.
Bonnie’s mom and dad try to continue to drug her, but she recuperates too quickly and heads over to the Gilberts. Kol is just about to lop off Jeremy’s arms when Elena gets free and goes after him with a knife. She manages to spray him with the vervain water from the sink (see? USEFUL!) and that disarms Kol long enough for Jeremy to stake him.
Kol goes up into flames and it is epic. He rolls around completely on fire for a few minutes until it burns out. Outside, Klaus is standing there watching the whole thing. THEY’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. Klaus starts having a meltdown because he wanted to just dagger Kol, not kill him. Oh, and he doesn’t really care about the cure — he was going to destroy it when they found it anyway. So now he’s just going to kill them! Fun. Except Bonnie shows up and goes all expression on his ass. She tells Jeremy to invite him in. NOOEEES! THIS IS GOING TO ALSO BE A MISTAKE!! But somehow she traps Klaus in the house and he does some yelling and screaming. Oh, this should be fun.
Back at Rebekah’s place, Stefan tells her about the plan to kill Kol. She is clearly upset, but at least Stefan is being honest with her. I have a lot more respect for him right now. Rebekah is understandably skeptical about his proposal to join forces.
Damon shows up at the Salvatores’ now that he is no longer compelled. Jeremy is pacing because he thinks killing Kol didn’t work. They remind him that it takes some time for the other vampires in the original’s line to die off. Stefan shows up and Bonnie tells them that they have three or four days to find the cure because that is how long her spell will last. (So what’s the plan after that? They can’t kill Klaus since most of them would die too. How about a plan to desiccate him? Guess that can just wait until later! Seriously, why are they so stupid in this episode??)
Stefan tells them that he didn’t dagger Rebekah, and Damon reveals that he probably did that because Stefan and Rebekah slept together. Then, to make sure we don’t forget what show we are watching, the boys start to bicker again like whiny man babies. NOT ATTRACTIVE, SALVATORES. Thankfully, this testosterone fest is interrupted by Jeremy’s man meat display, now with a bonus completed hunter’s mark! Looks like we’ll be looking for the cure this week! Awesome sauce!