Folks, here’s another one to be filed under Sentences I Never I’d Type About General Hospital: there is just so much going on with the love lives of the over 50 crowd that I haven’t had time to say anything about Port Charles’ new teen scene.
And by “teen scene,” I mean the one triangle we’ve got brewing between Molly “I talk only in literary references” Lansing, TJ “Please forget that whole illiteracy plot line” Ashford, and Rafe “My real dad’s a vampire” Kovich.
(I know. I KNOW. But really, it’s not as terrible as it sounds.)
Raise your hand if you were also distracted by
his old man cardigan in this scene.
First things first: I’m a little uncomfortable watching a 14 year old actress share romantic scenes with 18 and 20 year old actors, which probably can’t be helped, but it still unfortunate. Also unfortunate? The (unintentional, I’m sure, but still) implications of one of this show’s only African American characters getting thrown over over for a white boy, especially when Molly and Rafe look to be getting the full on meet-cute + slow relationship build that happened mostly off screen for her and TJ.
Which is to say — I really like the actor playing TJ and I hope that when all is said and done, they can find something else for him to do, even if he’s not with Molly. Maybe something else that isn’t so jailbait-y? That would be nice.
PUT THOSE NIPPLES AWAY, SON.
HOWEVER. Those reservations aside, Molly no longer fills me with uncontrollable annoyance every time she opens her mouth (only, like, a third of the time now?) and she and Rafe have a nice, innocent chemistry that I’m enjoying. I especially like that he’s not the overly cocky stereotype that we so often get with young male characters on this show — Rafe is scared and uncertain and respectful all without coming across as a pushover. And he comes with a larger story I’m actually interested in, so that’s a bonus.
Although I did kind of feel like a perv when he was wandering around shirtless the other morning. Listen, I don’t care if you’re technically 18, kid. Put those things away, please.
In other news, what fresh hell are they suddenly foreshadowing with Kristina and Johnny?
Dear show: please stop trying to make Kristina happen. She is terrible in literally every way it is possible to be terrible. Every word that awkwardly falls out of her mouth is like torture. And there is nothing you can say or do to make me believe that even Johnny would stoop so low as to show any romantic interest in her.
(Do you remember the caliber of actual adult women Johnny used to attract? I mean, forget Olivia — even Lisa Niles was less annoying than Kristina.) (Also, you might want to consider having him stop refer to her as “kid” if you don’t want me to barf at the thought of them getting together.)
I just dread every second of whatever this story is about to entail. Unless it leads to a prison riot. I can never say no to a quality prison riot.